Welcome to Chaos !!

I'm back at my office - meaning Coffee Roasters. I enjoy coming here and writing, it's relaxing and not home. When I was gone they remodeled the place a bit, I like the new look. First of all.....me today at my office.



Pics of the office, the new and improved look.



So cute and so simple. Take a piece of wood, pick a color and paint the wood, glue on coffee beans in the shape of a cup of coffee or whatever you want. Genius. I love it and feel inspired!



More art. The girl that works next door made this and the coffee bean creation. She is a photographer too. Very artistic and creative I think.





Now to my closet. Back in December or was it November (?) I was very close to moving away from Kenai. My stuff was packed up in boxes but then I changed my mind. Instead I went to Vegas for some time. Now I'm back in Kenai. My stuff, like 90% of it is still in boxes (plastic crates). So this is my closet. Imagine finding an article of clothing you want to wear, pretty much a project. So I'm not going to unpack this suitcase, instead I will rummage through it when I need something to wear and look through my boxes too. I lived out of two suitcases in Vegas so I can continue living like this for a while until I know what I'm doing and where I'm going. I had a very nice closet for a while, I like a pretty looking closet. Organized and nice to look at. This is not what I call a pretty looking closet. I can live with it for now. Could be worse for sure.





Today's plans, it's Friday. Patch up a few of Chhaya's binkis. They are put up on one of the shelves in the closet. I picked up all the stuffing today upstairs and downstairs from a ripped apart Piggie (pig) and Hedgie (hedgehog). Hedgie was trashed and could not be saved, Piggie will live a bit longer. I might wax my legs and then I have to wash my hair if I decide to go to work. If not I will stay at home at watch American Horror Story (Netflix). I started it last week. I'm through season 1, Murder House. Now I'm a few episodes into Asylum. I like it so far, Asylum is better than Murder House I find. Jessica Lange is very impressive.

Seems like I have been dealing with air mattress issues for the last couple of years. Does that not sound so very glamorous? I slept on an air mattress in Vegas the whole time I was there. For about four months. Purchased the queen size mattress at Walmart for $20, very affordable. A few weeks before I left Vegas, a hole mysteriously appeared on the underside of the mattress and it slowly went flat. I located the hole and patched it up, filled the mattress with air and the mattress decided to pop out an extra layer - it beefed up. So the last few weeks in Vegas I slept on a wonky looking air mattress, I called it my pregnant air mattress.
I DO have a queen size, very comfortable bed in Vegas. In storage. All my stuff, as in furniture, dishes, clothes, books, knick knacks etc are in a large storage unit in Vegas that I pay an exorbitant monthly fee for. I don't even want to think about the money I spent on that storage unit so far, I could had purchased brand new luxurious furniture or a car for that money. I really need to figure out what to do with my stuff in that storage unit within the near future. Really. For anyone looking for a great business to invest their money in, I have one advice - storage units.
So a few years ago I slept on an air mattress here in Kenai, AK too cause I refused to purchase a bed since in my mind I ALREADY had a perfectly good bed, albeit far away in a dusty storage unit in Vegas. Well finally, after patching it up like four times due to Chhaya jumping all over it and it still continued leaking, I gave up and have been enjoying my sleep, many movie watching sessions and plenty of cuddling with Chhaya on a king size bed purchased at a local Alaska branch called the Mattress Ranch. I still have an air mattress at home, it's my "futon" for the living room. Chhaya loves laying on it, it's elevated and has a couple of soft blankets and two large pillows on it. Well, wouldn't you know......the other day it slowly started deflating. I thought for sure I would find a hole from one of Chhaya's claws on the velour top.
Nope again, a tiny hole on the underside of the mattress. My question is.....how does a mattress get a hole underneath it if there was nothing sharp under it to begin with? That is a mystery to me. Well, after entertaining you all with my mundane air mattress stories I will now go and take care of my house that is a MESS. I have tons of things to wash, sort through, hang up, wipe down, sweep etc. A mess I'm telling you!

I have a somewhat complicated relationship with Q-tips as strangely as that sounds. If I was ever stranded on an island I would like to have an unlimited supply of Q-tips available, a good tweezer and some sharp scissors. I use Q-tips just like every other person that uses them does, ears - mine and Chhaya's. I also clean my nose with them. Have you ever tried cleaning your nose with Q-tips? Works great! Anyhow, so the complicated relationship is that every time I get a new box of Q-tips and open it up I think that something significant will happen in my life when that box comes to an end, some sort of event. I got this box the other day, 625 Q-Tips in it.....how long will this box last and what will be going on in my life then?
My last box ended a few weeks before I left Vegas, I refused to get another box until I got back to Alaska. I just couldn't do it, so I managed to live without Q-tips for a few weeks, how I'm not sure. I wonder if there is somebody else out there that feels the way I do about Q-tips? That a box of Q-tips holds a meaning to it. Sounds completely kooky.....I know.

I have a new favorite song to dance to at work. Faded by ZHU. Love it! I guess when I was away the computer with all of our music crashed, the DJs managed to restore most of our songs but not all. So I was racking my memory trying to recall all the songs that had been on my playlist. I think I got most of them. I find it so ironic when girls "steal" another girl's special song. Of course you can dance to whatever music you want, if allowed, some clubs do not allow a certain style of music.....like too much rap etc. But you KNOW when a girl has that special song, we all know (unless you work with hundreds of girls/night but that is not the case here) and in general it's an unwritten rule of courtesy that you respect your co workers special songs. I do. One girl made a point of starting to dance to two of my songs, one Rihanna song that I used to dance to nightly and the other night she played another one of my songs. Is this how passive aggressive people express themselves I wonder? Pathetic.
She can have both songs since they are played out and I have plenty of other songs to choose from. Plus my crush Rihanna has new stuff out now that I will check out. It's pure comedy to watch this girl dance to the songs, actually pure comedy to watch her on stage in general, she has some new jerky moves that are HILARIOUS! Looks like a belly dancer that took a long drag off the crack pipe. Some girls just never learn how to move fluid and nice on stage, no matter how long they've been stripping. What do I look like? I'm not sure.
It depends on the stage, some stages are not made for dancing, more for just walking up and down one direction and the other because there is simply no room to dance. When I'm on a stage I feel comfortable on I can relax and move freely. I was told from a couple of the waitresses at Crazy Horse Too that I was their favorite girl to watch on stage. I think that was a very nice compliment. And somebody else told me that I look like beautiful art. Besides the usual "great stage" or "you look good up there" comments. But I have also danced on stages that I did not want to go on at all cause I was not comfortable on them, whether it's bad lights or just a bad stage in general. Like the Spearmint Rhino in Carter Lake, IA.....the lights on that stage SUCKED. I don't know why clubs insist on having BAD lights. I mean, it's OBVIOUS when the lights are bad. When the girls actually look better in daylight than in club lights then you know that the lights on the stage are bad.....OK. I can assure you that I do not look anything like beautiful art then, more like a stiff and annoyed dancer that just wants to get the forced time on stage over with as soon as possible. So it all depends on the situation. I definitely prefer working in a club with a dancer friendly stage cause I do enjoy going on stage. Me and the pole do not get along. I have no pole skills whatsoever. Having said that, knowing one strained looking pole trick or two does not make you a good dancer. And there is a huge difference between stripper style dancing and going out clubbing dancing. If you go on a stage in a strip club and bust out some line dancing moves or some complicated Chris Brown moves or the moonwalk people will look at you like WTF??? And rightfully so. If I went to a regular club (not strip club) and started doing my strip club moves people would think I had some kind of a psychosis of some sort. So yes, there is a huge difference.
And this was my outfit last Saturday, which was the last time I worked - yellow bra and panty with yellow detail. I think the fire hydrant makes for a nice touch in the pic.



And of course there is already some small drama brewing. What else can you expect from a small village with one strip club and bored girls that dance every freakin' night of the week for months at an end? Get a life already! That's right, your life consists of the club and working every night, I forgot. So one crusty old fart (man) told another crusty old fart (another man) that I had mentioned something about one of the girls apparent weight gain. Well, I did not actually see her until Saturday night, so how I would had said something about her weigh gain before I actually saw her is a mystery to me. Seems like even the crusty old farts around here need to get a life. Plus I would had not said something like that to the old fart that lied and said that I did anyways, I don't talk to him about stuff like that. In fact, I barely talk to him at all. Are you following me in this village drama here......? I'm telling you, worse than a Sunday market gossip session in the old country.
I don't really give a shit about anybody's weight gain as long as it's not me sporting a big gut, love handles and rolls down my back, I'm happy. I don't need any meth, pills or be on a strict diet to stay thin. I can't even imagine living in misery like that.
Hmmm.....I SHOULD add here that I don't have any kids. I know that if I would had carried a baby and squeezed it out I most likely would not had a flat stomach like I do now. I don't know how women get thin after pregnancy, I envision myself with an extra 50 lbs after a pregnancy and my dancing days would be over.

I got my belated Christmas and birthday gifts the other day......all the way from Sweden!
My good friend Rose-Marie sent them. So I am now the owner of a selfie stick! I have not used it yet but I will absolutely show you the results when I do. I need to figure out how to use it first. Actually everybody at work here in Alaska said that the perfect gift for me last Christmas would had been a selfie stick. Also in the package, a shampoo and conditioner by L'anza that I heard good things about. A hand cream from Weleda and some other goodies.
TACK Rose-Marie! ❤



Friendship. Should be easy and smooth right.....but sometimes it's not. Some om my friends (most of them) I get along with amazingly. I have known them for a very long time and we rarely argue. Then with others it's like a constant on and off situation. We are either friends or not. Hot or cold. I don't like that. I am not like that. I truly understand the value of friendship. Think about it, how priceless a true friend really is. You know, the kind of person that opens up their home for you when you need a place to stay for a while or is there for you when you're in time of need, THAT kind of friend. I can with certainty make the statement that I have a handful of people in my life that will be there with me until the end. Others, are no longer friends for various reasons. Sometimes you just grow apart and sometimes so much negativity is involved that it's just not worth to try to continue the friendship - too much work. For a super loyal person like me that can be difficult to come to terms with. It hurts in my heart to lose a friend. But life goes on and not all doors always completely close, depending on the situation. I want to do good with my life, time is limited after all (as we know it) and I want to move in a positive direction and grow as a person, not to get dragged down by other people's constant drama and negativity.
If you have a true friend, consider yourself lucky!

I had my first latte from Kaladi yesterday in months. Oh yumminess! Besides that it was chilly and raining here yesterday, I went for a refreshing run. Today it's nicer but there are way too many mosquitoes out ALREADY and they are huge too, I can just imagine how many there will be when it warms up in a month or so, swarms of them just like last year and the year before. Awful.
Went to work. Basically sat around and made money. Could had made much more if I had tried but I don't want to make an effort, it's good that I don't really have to always. I'm trying to muster up the energy for work again tonight.....