Welcome to Chaos !!

I remember the first time I heard somebody say ‘karma is a bitch”. It was actually in the dressing room at work and some girl blurted it out, after that I have heard it countless of times. I also remember not understanding the meaning of it at first. Like, “who is karma and why is she a bitch”? But I don’t like the expression “karma is a bitch”, I think it sounds negative and ugly. As in bitch = woman = negative. No, I don't like that at all. Plus karma can be good, there is positive and negative karma. Right?
I actually been having some discussions with a few of my girlfriends on this topic lately. Because I don’t know if I believe in karma. Sometimes I feel like I do but on the other hand…..how do I prove that karma exists? People can speculate about it and blurt out “karma is a bitch” like it is the truth but how do you prove it? A facebook meme about karma does not mean that what you read is the truth. You need to study the topic more and read up on religion and beliefs, I think. Facebook articles and memes are only a scratch on the surface.
I would never say to another person that something bad happened to them because of karma. Meaning they have themselves to blame because of something bad they did in this life or a previous life. That would be wrong of me and also disrespectful. I don’t even think like that or imply it. Who am I to decide that for somebody else and how do I even KNOW that to be the truth? And how do you explain when bad happens to the innocent - children? Do you tell a grieving parent with a sick, injured or even dead child that the child got what she/he deserved because of karma? No, of course not. Well, at least I don’t think like that.
And if karma really was the universal law we wouldn’t need any laws or uphold personal responsibilities because karma would make sure we would all get what we deserve.
So if you believe in karma do you also believe in reincarnation and past lives? I WANT to believe that this life here and now is not the end. I want to believe that I will be together with everybody dear to me and Chhaya somewhere else but I do not know this for sure. I never had any near death experiences or other proof of some sort that there is an afterlife. Maybe one day I will. And it makes me so sad sometimes, this life and that in the end we all die. WHY? It is SO cruel I think. Even writing it now I have to take a deep breath and wipe away tears.
I have said it a few times before, here in the blog and in those deep talks that you have with people sometimes, that I think this life basically is suffering with some happiness scattered into so we do not give up or lose our minds while struggling through this journey. So yes, I hope and wish for something amazing for all of us, including the animals when we die or pass over.
Maybe karma very much exists. I can only speculate. But I think bad stuff happens because there are bad and evil people out there that inflict pain and cause problems for others.
And sometimes we make bad choices and get ourselves involved in bad situations that in turn leads to a bad outcome. And other times we are in the wrong place at the wrong time. That is how I explain the bad stuff that happens. You also reap what you sow. We see results depending on our actions - good and bad.
I also remember a few years ago while at work (again), I did something nice for either a person/s or something nice in general. And somebody told me that they thought I was a very nice person and a girl I used to work with said, "she is doing it to get good karma in the future". I was like……NO? That is not how I operate, I do not do something kind for others or do something good in general because I want to collect good karma points. That would be calculating and I am not a calculating person. Far from it.
Then one of my friends also told me that you can repair your karma……interesting.
Whether karma is real or not can be discussed, we all have our own opinions about stuff and I respect that. I love listening, discussing and hopefully broadening my knowledge and outlook on stuff.
I talked to four of my girlfriends about karma, wanting to know their thoughts. My one friend in Sweden does not believe in karma at all. Then I have the friend with the Christian biblical approach to life and it's struggles. And the other two firmly believe in karma, one of them in a more sensitive and educated way than the other which I think has more to learn.
But so do I. And if we do reincarnate, is it only once or over and over until we are evolved enough to be welcomed into the eternal Paradise? Life is a journey.

I came across an old diary from 2005 today, so I sat down and looked through it. Kind of bittersweet to look through old diaries I quickly realized. I had a rather exhausting 2005 it seems like. Lots happened. Some bad stuff. I actually had many more diaries like this one,
I was getting the Country Diaries back then because I really liked their style and I filled them with writing about my days, feelings/thoughts and stuffed them with scrap stuff like movie and concert tickets etc. Like in this one from 2005 I found a memento from an old Vegas club (Utopia), STILL revered as the best club Vegas ever had by many, including me. But my old diaries, except this one, disappeared when my storage unit got burglarized. That was not a fun time. UGH. I wish I would had done a few things differently that year, 2005, eliminated some people from my life that were no good for me but hindsight is always 20/20.
I had a very interesting and insightful conversation with a super cool person last night about life, astrology and people's birth signs. Now I am a Capricorn and I am not super into astrology and I think that it should be taken with a big heap of salt. I have a a couple of girlfriends that are way into star signs, compatibility amongst the signs and the traits of each sign. I think that you can find traits that describe you in every sign, we are close to seven billion people or so on the planet after all. I don't think we can be compartmentalized into
12 zodiac signs.
But OF COURSE I think I possess the following Capricorn descriptions to a T.

"Its easy to recognize a capricorn woman - if you know her from a long time you will see the changes in her appearance, when she is young, she looks more matured and older compared to the other children her age, but as and when the years catch up with her she gets more beautiful, looks young and fresh.... she is the kind of beauty which does not require cosmetics, it enhances over the period of time. The long lasting natural beauty is that of a capricorn woman.
She is quick, intelligent, smart and a nature lover (although there are always exceptions). Does not believe in pretence and formalities. She accepts you just the way you are. Talks to the point. Likes to get at the heart of the matter instead of going around in circles.
Very emotional and sentimental. A "good doer" of the community but never expects anything in return, but when she asks for help (that is also in dire circumstances) and is not heard she is very hurt.
A music lover, deep thinker and an avid reader is our dear capricorn darling. Has a liberal, practical and a realistic approach towards life. Believes in equality and expects as much as she gives. Due to the high emotional and sentimental ingredients in her character you will find a lot of writers to be ruled by the saturn planet.
This Goat has electic characteristics. Beauty, Brains and Selflessness is to be found always in a capricorn woman.
A man is lucky to get a capricorn as a partner."

WOW! That is SO me! LOL. I should add some more to that....I am very loyal and also generous.
Of course I think this can be just as fitting for a person born in for example July but I know my astrology friends would disagree.
Anyhow, the person I talked to yesterday about start signs etc was a Scorpio and told me that there are two kinds of Scorpios. The positive one that is evolved, very sensitive, feels deeply and rises like a Phoenix and the other kind that is negative as in manipulative, resentful, vengeful, secretive and jealous.
Quite interesting because a friend of mine that I used to be close to is a Scorpio......and I always felt those negative traits coming from her, good ones too but the negative always took over. Unfortunately. And it became too much....
But the diplomat in me needs to add here that those negative traits can be found in people that are not Scorpios as well. Just to be fair.
Well, I think I might take a bath now and take extra care of my feet and skin tonight. I tried an extraction tool the other day and it worked really well. I had a facial a long time ago when the esthetician used a tool for the extractions and I had bright red marks all over my face for several days afterwards. That made me never want a facial again where a tool for extracting was used but then I got one myself a while back cause I thought.....why not? And it works, no red marks either. I think the key is to be gentle and prepare the skin for it first by softening it up with a good wash and maybe a scrub too.

I dragged Roxy out for a road trip the other day.....to China Ranch and Tecopa. She had never been there before and those are cool places to visit, I think. Where are these places you might wonder, because most people I encounter never heard of them. About a two hour drive from Vegas in California. No....we did not walk or hitchhike there. If you go to China Ranch you have to check out the very interesting gift shop (go in the back room - WOW) and try a date shake and taste some of the date samples. There are hikes there, I like the hike to Slot Canyon but it is getting too hot to be hiking there this time of year unless you go early......like start around sunrise or later in the day around 6 pm. So we continued on to Tecopa where we stopped at the Death Valley Internet Cafe, very good food there! We took some pics and had a picnic under a tree that gave much needed shade. Looks like some places are closing down for the season to open up again in October......like this place that is definitely worth a visit if you are in the area. When it cooled down we went to the mud baths in Tecopa. I got in thigh deep. And this time just like a previous time I got bit by something in the water because I have a bunch of very itchy red spots on my legs now. I have been in these mud baths several times, submerged chin deep in the water and twice I got something itchy on my skin from the adventure. There is a sign by the parking area that warns visitors of mud mites in the water so get in at your own risk. People soak here all the time, so it can't be that bad...... After the mud bath we went to Delight's hot spring resort, my first visit there actually and I loved it! There are four private hot pools to pick from, a really nice courtyard and an upstairs patio to relax on in between soaking. One of the pools has an open roof and it is wonderful to lay and relax in the water and look up at the night sky. Very romantic too if you go there with that special person in your life. You can also stay the night in Tecopa in case you want to spend some more time there. Of course I took pics in the pool....... What a lovely day! ❤

Here I am hydrating my epidermis with a hydrating aloe face mask. That is all I know about this flimsy mask because most of the writing on the package is an an unfamiliar language to me.
The mask actually feels very nice and cooling. I like it, I need to get some more.
I don't have anything else to tell you my friends. Sorry for my absence here on the blog. I am spent in more ways than I can even describe. Thank You for checking in. I will be back another time. ❤

What's going on in the world nowadays? I have not watched TV for a long time now.
Finding out most of my news info online. Besides the never ending terror suicide missions by brain washed maniacs all over the world we have the upcoming US presidential election.
Now I thought that Trump was rather entertaining and a breath of fresh air for a while until he started yapping about his personal thoughts on abortion. I am pro choice. And I certainly do not think that some dusty fogbone MAN needs to open up his mouth about punishment for women and/or the doctors that perform abortions. It is kind of unclear to me what he meant exactly because sometimes he does express himself like an immature boy and then he (or his team) realizes the fact and tries to make amends. He sure makes a lot of uneducated statements. I wonder if any of his three wives (he is on number three now) had any abortions, or are all three perfect saints? The amount of neglected, abused and uncared for children in this country alone is staggering. I think it is better to have an abortion than give birth and then molest and/or torture your child to death. And Trump's opinions about women's looks in general he can keep to himself, nobody is interested. You have a wife, concentrate on her and her looks.
Now what I am really fascinated with are the Panama Papers. That is some really interesting stuff! I thought it was great what Edward Snowden did a few years ago, also Assange with WikiLeaks and this latest revelation is great too. But if we are going to find out anything good from the Panama Papers is still yet to be seen. Journalism at it's finest I think. I wonder if any of the white collar criminals will face time in prison or will their millions buy them free (most likely) or is a fine (slap on the wrist) be sufficient? Meanwhile the founder of the Silk Road, Ross Ulbricht got sentenced to life. Fair? Not at all.
Besides that.......just a personal opinion of mine, I have to say that women that put on those fake yapping mousy voices are sooooooo annoying. Shut the fuck up! It does NOT sound cute, it sounds awful and it's painful to listen to. And I can't stand cackling hen laughs either. Barf.
Now I am going hiking. It rained and the desert smells wonderful.

I have been on a lookout for pretty desert flowers to show you that things do bloom in the Mojave desert.
Here are some flowers I have passed up while walking with Chhaya......