Welcome to Chaos !!

It was around 11 am this morning, I ordered a latte at Stumptown before heading out for a very long day that started with this latte and then continued with picking up dog and cat food donations at MudBay, arriving for a Pet Pack shift and ended with me coming home close to 8 pm after visiting several stores, finally after a few hours of being home taking a bath, washing my hair and getting in bed. I am so tired.
It has been raining for days now. I do not have any Christmas feelings. It is gray, wet and chilly outside.
I am so looking forward to sleeping. I love sleeping. I love my bed, I love getting comfortable and cozy and dozing off.....and that is exactly what I am going to do now.

2 am and it snowed a little but the snow will be gone soon because it is not cold enough. I splurged on some lottery tickets a few days ago but it was not my turn to win the lotto I guess, I rarely gamble but when I do I fantasize about what I would do with all the millions. Get a king size bed and a bunch of pets would be one of the things I would do.....a king size bed so they all can have plenty of room to sleep with me at night. But no millions this time.



When driving home through the empty streets I passed this tree and it looked so pretty that I had to turn around and take a picture of it. I love the city at night. A blanket of calm slowly comes down around 2 am, things slow down....people go to sleep. I am usually up. I listen to the radio while driving home and think about life. Now I am home, drinking tea and about to take a shower, then sleep. I need to be up before 10.
Christmas is around the corner and I am not prepared. Every day up until Christmas is full of things that have to be done. I can't believe this year is almost over.....

Since it is December 13 I have to mention Lucia that we celebrate on this day in Sweden. We even have a Lucia here in Portland at a Scandinavian cultural center.
It has been raining every day for like a week....I am not in a super Christmassy mood.
I am thinking to let my Christmas decorations rest in their boxes this year. Then next year will feel like extra special maybe?
I have a list of things that I want to get done before 2021 is over so I don't enter 2022 with stuff that I have been putting aside. And I got a headlight out on my car and according to AT&T the new (new to me) phone I got in February is no longer supported by the network because they are switching over to 5G. ??? I am annoyed over that, so lame. These are of course small problems compared to what some people deal with.
I am planning on taking almost two weeks off right before the Holidays and just have quiet me time. There is a series on Netflix called Elves that I am planning on watching and I want to read some books. Maybe go on a trip, not sure yet. I just want to hibernate and be cozy.

The world is a fucked up place with snippets of goodness scattered throughout.....otherwise it would be unbearable to live and life would have no meaning. It is probably better not to care because caring hurts and it is frustrating too because you can only do so much on your own. Ignorance IS bliss.
Two well deserved guilty verdicts came down yesterday.
Smollet. WTF. He had a great career making more money that most will in a year per episode by acting in some TV show that I never watched. Decided he wanted more and got his dumb ass in all kinds of trouble.
Wasting the resources of law enforcement that could had been spent on something useful instead of investigating something that he staged. Great acting there. How embarrassing. I wonder if he even feels embarrassed? He deserves that guilty verdict.
And then Josh Duggar. I have mentioned that sick family here before. I hope that his wife somehow finds the strength to leave him but she is probably brainwashed by her "faith", thinking she needs to stand by her husband no matter what he does, plus she has SEVEN kids with that perv. WTF, stop squeezing out innocent kids into that sick twisted family! Poor kids to be subjected to that life.
If there is something I cannot stand is when people abuse the ones that can not defend themselves and those are usually children and animals. I am for lengthy prison sentences, mandatory chemical castration and even the death penalty in some instances for the ones that are found guilty of these kinds of crimes. There is NO room in society for these kinds of "humans". The oldest Duggar offspring deserves the guilty verdict. Go be a perv in prison. Have fun.
Something else that irks me is that these high and mighty self proclaimed people of faith are the ones pointing their filthy fingers at people like me saying that I am a sinner. I might be a sinner but not THAT kind of sinner. I hate hypocrites. I have known a few examples like these in my past (well one in particular). Glad those days are over! High and mighty full of wonder of their own self imagined importance when in fact all they are, is a sorry boozy porno obsessed perv. A Duggar basically. Pathetic.

I am going through the photos from the shoot I did with Barry at the beach a few months ago. It took me a while to do that plus I am a procrastinator as well, so sometimes it take a loooooong time for me to get something done. One of my personal flaws I guess. But I should be starting to put up some photos from that shoot here soon. Here is one though, this is one of the last photos of the day and I am in my robe and we were done.
Beach shoots in Oregon at the beginning of October = chilly. I would like to do another beach shoot (with Barry) next year. We might drive up North to Washington for that one.

One thing that I am going to take care of before this year is over is to get a trim. I am thinking three inches. Maybe four. Something like that.



When I am at work I get a few questions almost every time I am there. "How long have you been growing your hair" and "How often do you cut your hair?" The answers are....my hair has been long for a LONG time, it is who I am I guess. I am boring like that. Same hairstyle forever, do not feel the need for change.
Actually a few weeks ago a somebody told me that the Native Americans believe that long hair is connected to Mother Earth and also that long hair is a physical manifestation of the growth of the spirit.
And as far as how often I cut my hair. Not often. Once a year, sometimes twice. I have even went way over a year in between cuts.
I think that if you want long hair you should not get a trim too often. Just take care of your hair. I don't blow dry, tease or use any harsh products like hair spray. But I do color my gray hair.....I started getting gray hairs at 18. I use demi colors now. Works for me.
I get that I look like a mermaid a lot, or a goddess (a common one is Venus in The Birth of Venus is ). I can take that. Of course I am a mermaid AND a goddess!
So I started using Kevin Murphy products for my hair not too long ago, shampoo and conditioner. I really like them. But I like to switch up the product that I use so I got Briogeo too. I like the deep conditioning treatment a lot.