Perfect Selfie
A few months ago I came across this ad while browsing through a magazine.
So for the meager cost of $47 (if paid in advance) or $67 (if paid at door) you can learn how to take the "perfect selfie" to best represent yourself on social media. And feel fabulous. Then there is some lame mention about inner and outer beauty connection, nutrition and bla bla bla. Really now?
Well, if you give me.....say $40 I will teach you how to take a perfect selfie. I can meet you at a local coffee shop and give you a lesson, my latte is on you. In fact I feel so generous and kind that I will teach you now, for free! Take camera, point at yourself and snap pic. TADAAAAA! Selfie! I take many pics of all kinds of stuff. I must never lose my phone because whomever finds it will discover a treasure picture wise. Quite a collection of pics in my phone of all kinds of interesting things.....I renamed my phone to "the selfie machine" a while back.
I wonder if anyone paid and attended this perfect selfie class? Seriously.....don't. What is this world coming to.....LOL? Oh and I might as well throw in a small lecture on skincare now. For free. Avoid smoking. Even secondhand smoke if possible. Unfortunately I have been unwillingly subjected to way too much secondhand smoke - gross. Avoid drinking too much and hard drugs. Or you will look like a wrinkle face in your mid 30's or earlier. Unless you don't care that is and if you don't care then hey - good for you. I have seen ladies in their mid 30's with more wrinkles on their face than my butthole has wrinkles (it must be their inner beauty shining through). But life will also age you because life eventually does. And tanning beds. I wish I would had never used a tanning bed. Not good for you. As far as nutrition goes I can't give any valuable lessons because I don't diet and I eat a lot of sugar, something that is supposedly not good for you.
I don't drink enough water either. Perhaps I should start......? I have a vision of me starting each day with a large glass of water with some lemon in it followed by 30 minutes of yoga. Yeah right......maybe one day. I have been so lazy lately with exercise and even washing my face.....whatever I'm just not motivated. And I like exercising and washing my face, I promise!
Well, here are some of my latest selfies from my selfie machine. I might as well throw in these 2016 selfies before the year is over. New ones next year.
No filter or blur tools here......if you see an "imperfection" then you can zoom in on it and inspect it even closer. At least I look this way in real life too. Do not fall for the mostly fake world of Instagram.
Tired, just woke up and cold early morning at work.
Trying on a friend's glasses after a loooooong day.
Golden sunshine.
Looking cranky.
Hello Kitty.
Close up.
3 AM.
XOXO
And those were just a few of my fabulous selfies.......!
So for the meager cost of $47 (if paid in advance) or $67 (if paid at door) you can learn how to take the "perfect selfie" to best represent yourself on social media. And feel fabulous. Then there is some lame mention about inner and outer beauty connection, nutrition and bla bla bla. Really now?
Well, if you give me.....say $40 I will teach you how to take a perfect selfie. I can meet you at a local coffee shop and give you a lesson, my latte is on you. In fact I feel so generous and kind that I will teach you now, for free! Take camera, point at yourself and snap pic. TADAAAAA! Selfie! I take many pics of all kinds of stuff. I must never lose my phone because whomever finds it will discover a treasure picture wise. Quite a collection of pics in my phone of all kinds of interesting things.....I renamed my phone to "the selfie machine" a while back.
I wonder if anyone paid and attended this perfect selfie class? Seriously.....don't. What is this world coming to.....LOL? Oh and I might as well throw in a small lecture on skincare now. For free. Avoid smoking. Even secondhand smoke if possible. Unfortunately I have been unwillingly subjected to way too much secondhand smoke - gross. Avoid drinking too much and hard drugs. Or you will look like a wrinkle face in your mid 30's or earlier. Unless you don't care that is and if you don't care then hey - good for you. I have seen ladies in their mid 30's with more wrinkles on their face than my butthole has wrinkles (it must be their inner beauty shining through). But life will also age you because life eventually does. And tanning beds. I wish I would had never used a tanning bed. Not good for you. As far as nutrition goes I can't give any valuable lessons because I don't diet and I eat a lot of sugar, something that is supposedly not good for you.
I don't drink enough water either. Perhaps I should start......? I have a vision of me starting each day with a large glass of water with some lemon in it followed by 30 minutes of yoga. Yeah right......maybe one day. I have been so lazy lately with exercise and even washing my face.....whatever I'm just not motivated. And I like exercising and washing my face, I promise!
Well, here are some of my latest selfies from my selfie machine. I might as well throw in these 2016 selfies before the year is over. New ones next year.
No filter or blur tools here......if you see an "imperfection" then you can zoom in on it and inspect it even closer. At least I look this way in real life too. Do not fall for the mostly fake world of Instagram.
Tired, just woke up and cold early morning at work.
Trying on a friend's glasses after a loooooong day.
Golden sunshine.
Looking cranky.
Hello Kitty.
Close up.
3 AM.
XOXO
And those were just a few of my fabulous selfies.......!