Welcome to Chaos !!

What a day! I am TIRED, mentally. First me and Chhaya had the vet appointment, I like my vet here, her name is Doctor Mary. Doctor Mary has a pitbull mix, a boy that is the same age as Chhaya, he too gets himself into trouble sometimes, she calls him her problem child and that is exactly what Chhaya is to me, she is my beloved problem child. That is what Albert Hofmann referred LSD as, did you know? Chhaya got a week's worth of antibiotics and a few days worth of pain and anti inflammatory meds, she is already doing better. Jumping around, being funny and full of energy on our walk earlier. She can do no wrong, I look at her and my heart melts.



Being at the vet is kind of sad. There was a poor dog with a broken back there. I heard other dogs barking anxiously. Then there is this hanging on a wall. I can't even read it without crying. I have asked God/The Higher Power several times to never separate me and Chhaya, I want to find Chhaya when I die and be with her, wherever it might be - forever. I feel the same way about my closest family and a few other people that I love. Now I am thinking about life and death again and the meaning of this struggle on Earth we call living life......
After the vet I had a bunch of other rather stressful things to deal with, therefore I am tired now. I am glad today is over. I'm going to go to sleep soon and I'm looking forward to getting some rest.

Here are some pics from that photo shoot I did in May (?) at South Fork Falls in Eagle River.
I am not that happy with the results, these two pics are the best and they are not exactly my best pics I have taken......but whatever, that's how it is sometimes.







Besides that, I have been cleaning tonight. Chhaya is not doing good. She was fine yesterday (Sunday, I am writing this early Tuesday morning), playing and being normal and today (Monday and until now) she is just not well. We are going to the vet this afternoon and I am feeling SAD and WORRIED because my baby is not well and I don't know what's wrong.
There is also a ton of small flies in my house......no, not fruit flies or dirty house/rotten garbage kind of flies. I don't let it get too dirty. These flies come this time of year from the outside, the light from the house attracts them at night. I have a lamp by the bed and right now there are a ton of small flies crawling on the wall by the lamp, dying underneath the lamp and flying into my face, hair and the laptop. Gross.
The Wild Alaskan boat in Kodiak has turned out to be the biggest drama club I have ever encountered, I haven't said much about it here, I've been waiting, listening and pacing myself. Some more stuff took place on that boat yesterday, yet another dancer left in a hurry (two total now). I did not have anything close to the experiences as those two girls but I am not happy with what I am hearing and some of the stuff I saw and heard while on that boat. Although I did overall have a good experience. And that is all I have to say about that for now. My Chhaya is not well and that is my priority right now.

I just got back home after meeting up with Genesis and Madison for lunch at the new place to eat in town.....The Flats Bistro. I am a foodie and I love to eat out but I like quality, not just any food that somebody scraped together on a plate and placed in front of me. So far I have not been impressed at all with the selection of places to dine at on the Kenai Peninsula. I like the pizza OK at Pizza Boys and at St. Elias Brewing Company but it's pizza, how hard can it be to get that wrong? Well, there are some places around here that I ordered pizza from and I will never make that mistake again. I also had good vegetarian sushi at Froso's, made with sweet potato but that was last year and I don't know if they make sushi there anymore. One of my hands down worst food experiences was at Harry's in Soldotna, I had regular breakfast and an apple pie and it was just AWFUL. I was surprised they had the nerve to serve garbage like that and charge people for it. It should be a crime to serve people shitty food at a restaurant. I used to go to Odie's Deli for sandwiches but I noticed the quality of my sandwiches dwindle the last couple of times I went there and the very last time I handed them back my sandwich and asked for the money back. I will not go back there again. I can make a better sandwich at home. I have tried basically every place in town for either lunch or dinner and most of them are not my cup of tea. I am used to dining in Las Vegas or New York City, don't take me for a snob but I think if you go out to eat you should get quality. Or you can go through the drive-thru at some burger place. If you never been away from the Kenai Peninsula you don't know what good dining at a great restaurant means. If good to you equals a slab of meat or some bacon and egg.....well, then we have way different taste and expectations.
So......The Flats Bistro for lunch. First of all, the place is very nice and clean inside. I liked it a lot. The view is spectacular, you can sit outside and on a nice sunny day or evening......it must be gorgeous, especially if you go close to sunset. It was raining today so we stayed inside.
The service was good, the waitress was very nice. I think a fireplace would be great in there to add some ambiance, like at Glacier Brewhouse in Anchorage or like the one they have inside The Peppermill in Las Vegas. A fireplace in a nice restaurant in Alaska is a must I think for those dark and cold winter evenings.
Since I don't eat meat (that includes chicken and fish) I did not think that the lunch menu had much to offer. I had french fries, they were OK (like regular fries) and a salad which was eatable but overpriced for what it was. I asked to look at the dinner menu and it looked way more interesting. If you eat meat you will have better options at The Flats Bistro. I am definitely going to go back for dinner but I doubt I will go back for lunch anytime soon (maybe they change up the menu on a regular?). I also brought an eclair home with me, it was good.
Tatiana, the well traveled food critic has spoken.

I was out and about all day yesterday......when I got home around 11 pm I ate ice cream and fell asleep, now it's 7 am and I'm up, although I think I will try to go back to sleep after writing this. What am I supposed to do this early in the morning? Chhaya is still sleeping and I have nowhere to be.
I started yesterday off with a latte at Kaladi and I also met up with my friend Jim. A while ago he made me a beautiful hair bone that keeps my hair up and in one place, it works great.
The hair bone is made form a shed caribou antler and the smaller dark piece that you can see in the piece is fossilized walrus. The heart (that he also made) is mastodon ivory and the earrings (also Jim's creation) are fossilized walrus ivory. The ivory is probably over 10 000 years old, pretty cool I think!









Today's plans? I might go to lunch with some friends later and I should do some cleaning. Should is the word.....that doesn't mean that it will actually happen. But I think it's time for more sleep now.......

A personal disaster has happened! My selfie machine is BROKEN! Oh....selfie machine = cellphone in my world. I take so many pictures of myself (OF COURSE) and Chhaya and other people and stuff too that I just renamed my phone the selfie machine. I dropped it too many times and the last time I dropped it, it cracked over the camera lens in the front so now I can't take selfies in reverse mode (if that makes any sense, not sure how to describe it better). I can still take pictures but the regular way. So I have been taking pics with my camera (I have two, a Sony and a Canon) but it's NOT the same because with the selfie machine the process is fast and easy if I want to upload a pic to the blog. With a camera I have to download the pics from the camera to my computer and then upload to the blog......arggggghhhhhhh! I need to find a selfie machine doctor in this village so the problem can get fixed PRONTO! Here is the cracked screen......



I went to work last night. It was a fun night, I met some very entertaining people that understood and appreciated my humor, they renamed me "Lady Borat". I LIKE! Not only were they funny they were also smart, after spending a couple of nights in the club they correctly pointed out the number one prostitute in all of Kenai (and it's NOT me in case you are slightly confused).
If you have seen Borat you know that there is a joke about the number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan (his sister) and guess what, we have one here on the Peninsula as well! And they figured out who the number two prostitute is as well, spot on! Without any assistance from me. They also pointed out who the crazy tweeker is. It is getting THAT obvious. Many guys are noticing and talking about her irrational and psychotic behavior, it's kind of sad but hey.....everybody is responsible for their own life and their own choices. Look people, meth is BAD.....OK!?
I can also inform you that I have some job offers in Bismarck, North Dakota selling cars and being the number two boss in an office. I passed my job interview with flying colors. How? Simple, by being ME. DUH, what else is new? But Boss Lady is refusing to sell me......unfortunately. It looks like I'm stuck slaving away at the club here for a while longer......

A few days ago somebody sent me this through my contact page, "You're gay right?" Hmmmmmm........am I gay? Yes, I am a very happy person.....thank you for noticing! You know GAY means happy, RIGHT?
But I do understand that this person meant to ask if I am a lesbian. Actually, no. I am open minded and I love and appreciate beautiful women. I don't have any insecurity issues since I am quite happy with myself.....I'm GAY! LOL.
I especially appreciate Rihanna and Irina Shayk and the kind of girls that walk in the Victoria's Secret annual lingerie show or model in Sports Illustrated, I also adore Kate Moss and pretty models in general. My taste is quite sophisticated, I prefer exquisite beauty - face AND body to a large wobbly ass and some huge boobs. Everybody has different taste you know.
I am pleased to say that my gorgeous Rihanna is number 11 (my fave number on Maxim's Hot 100 list). I love her, not crazy about the tattoos but I love her music, her voice, her attitude and the way she looks - she is my number one. I get Sports Illustrated every year cause I'm so very gay. Irina Shayk had an amazing cover a few years ago. I like her. She seems smart, here is some stuff she said, "I never take the backseat. Maybe if you're lucky, you can have a front seat too". And, "I'm not a person who cares about people's opinions. Some people like you; some people hate you. You have to be strong." Yes, I agree with Irina.
Check out my gorgeous ladies......





A lot of times insecure men with a cave man style, narrow minded mentality feel threatened when a woman is independent and strong. There MUST be something WRONG with a woman like that they think. And they often think with that small head in between their legs.....not the brain on top of their shoulders. That woman must be GAY! Or maybe she needs a GOOD FUCKIN'!? She probably hasn't had DICK for a long time??
Trust me, I can survive and thrive without penis. Thank you. Even better is the annoying dudes that come up to me when I'm at work and confrontationally demand/say, "SMILE!". Excuse me now, I am sitting here minding my own business and I smile when I want to OK?
I can assure you, just because I don't sit with a fake smile plastered on my face 24/7 doesn't mean that I am angry, bitter, an angry lesbian or hate men. Now do YOU walk around with a constant large grin on your face? Maybe you do, so good for you but I don't and last time I checked I was completely sane too. Plus what makes you the smile enforcer? Would you just saunter up to some stranger on the street and demand a smile from them?
Some men come in to a strip club thinking they should be worshiped or even obeyed because they have the money. Well, don't expect that treatment from me. I don't do that. I am myself, if you can't hang with somebody that might be quicker, wittier and smarter than you then go and talk to some moronic bimbo so your own short comings won't be so evident. I am super nice and can hold a great conversation with anyone about most topics but I don't like when some angry man takes out his frustrations on me. I will quickly put you in your place. If you treat me nice and respectfully, you will get the same treatment back. What's wrong, angry man? Do you need a good fucking' by a large and hard penis? Maybe you're gay?
And for the record....I have nothing against gay people. I am utterly grateful that they exist and add some sparkle to this world, this I have said many times. If Rihanna or Irina call, I'd be gay too. I will be with a girl if I'm attracted to her.
Of course far from every man I encounter at work or out and about is an annoying cave man, most are nice. And no I do not hate men and I am far from a bitter person. I just thought I would elaborate a bit on that "You're gay right" comment I got. Often I hear, "Your boyfriend is a lucky guy". Yes indeed he is. Very lucky. He knows this.