Welcome to Chaos !!

Last night was slow at work but I still did ok. I usually entertain myself with taking pictures of myself (OF COURSE) or reading when I have nothing to do. The taking pictures of myself is very puzzling to some people, I know.....it might be difficult to understand but I LOVE myself and I am a total narcissist and I don't have any problems admitting to that either
Plus I have a blog and the readers NEED pics of me, right? This preoccupation with myself takes up all my time. I do not care about anyone or anything else besides myself or things that might benefit me. That is obvious right? If I'm not fretting about my lip gloss, it might be my cuticles, or my nail polish, or my lashes or my fabulous behind.....all of me needs attention and praise. Ha Ha!
What also amuses me is some the reactions from others when I get compliments.
Some people just can't handle when others get compliments, it makes them angry! LOL!
It's great! I have no problem giving (honest) compliments, I really dislike fake praise though and I don't engage in that. So to me, a person getting angry when another person gets some sort of positive attention.....that's just weird. Maybe they need to go and talk to a professional? I can't help getting compliments, I don't ask or fish for them, so chill out ok. Besides.....if you get annoyed over that, you don't really know me. Then some of the people that talk about me taking pics of myself do just that same thing, but when nobody is watching......carefully picking out the best pics to go up their social networking site. Or display certain assets every time they step out of the house. But of course, I am the bad person. Hilarious! There are plenty of not so glam pics of me on my blog. That is just as much of who I am as the girl I am at work, it's the same person.









Also last night at work I watched bits and parts of an old movie called Wild Orchid with Mickey Rourke, I almost fell off the chair! That is my kind of porn! I am renting that movie and 9 1/2 Weeks too. What a HOT man! Not to mention the make out sessions. I know the 50 Shades Of Grey books are very popular with many women but that is just crap to me.
I skimmed through the first book one rainy afternoon in New York and I was not impressed at all. If you want to see something hot, watch and drool over Mikey Rourke when he was younger. OMG.

A month until my birthday! I can't believe it! The last one feels almost like......yesterday.

Drove into town today to get some stuff for tomorrow. When I got my latte at Kaladi I saw that their Christmas tree was up with requests from Hope Community Resources to give to the needy. Hope caters to people that experience mild to severe disabilities. This will be my third year helping out and I also give toys to Toys For Tots since a while now. This year I picked two girls to give to.



I also think there should be a Christmas tree for the needy strippers here in town. Trust me there are some that are in need. That tree should be in the busy entryway of Fred Meyer, more traffic equals more donations! It should be a pink tree decorated with silver glitter and high heel ornaments and some garters dangling from it. Some things that would be appreciated by the girls here would be bongs, a few pounds of weed, gift certificates for food and toiletries and pet food. On my personal wish list......new stripper shoes, Juicy and Annick Goutal Petite Cherie perfumes and gift certificates for the spa of my choice and Nordstrom. LOL. But on a more serious note, to me Christmas is more about making others happy. I love giving thought out gifts, I like making others happy. Plus some of my friends are not that good at giving gifts, they just don't do that, maybe they are cheap or just don't want to put in the effort (lazy), or whatever......it is what it is.....like I said, giving is the joy for me. I am already happy knowing that the two girls I chose will get something nice from me this Christmas.
Then me and Chhaya went for a walk in the snow. Now I'm home. I think I am going to lay down in bed next to the snoring Chhaya and take a nap before work tonight. It's exhausting being a dancer!

I guess most people in the US are thinking about and getting ready for Thanksgiving. Spending time with family and friends, eating a lot and having a good time if you are amongst the fortunate ones. Maybe being hungry, cold and lonely if you are not so fortunate. Although, just because you are with a group of people doesn't mean that you are happy......you know, happy and content with yourself. I see that a lot, people that make sure they laugh the loudest, put on a big show of fake happiness and grandiose gestures and loud talk when really on the inside they are just miserable. And it is so very obvious to the people observing them. Just because you put on a show of being "social and happy" doesn't mean that you are. Far from it. Sometimes (often) the people that don't feel the need to put on a fake show for others are the ones that truly are at peace and happy.
I am thankful for a LOT. For my family and my friends (although they live far away), for the love of my life Chhaya, for having a safe and warm place to call home, that I get to eat every day and all the other comforts that I get to enjoy, for my health, for my amazingly good looks (HA HA!). I am thankful when I savor moments of feeling alive. For that sip of latte that tastes so good. When laying in a warm bath. When curling up under my covers with a great book. When I travel and experience new things. When dancing to some great music. That I am free and get to make my own choices. And no.....I am not having any turkey on Thanksgiving. Chhaya can have some but I will refrain.

Now to XENA. I read about her today and since this is a wonderful story it needs to be on my blog. Xena was horribly maltreated as a puppy. Once again, some sorry excuse for a human did this to an animal. Heartless and sick. One more example of how cruel human being are. And I will say this again, people that do this to animals deserve execution. This is my opinion.



Today this beautiful girl is the best friend of autistic little boy. Since Xena came into his life he has developed a lot. They say that it is believed that Xena is a Staffordshire terrier mix, she looks like a pitbull to me. Her and Chhaya look similar, just different colors. You can read more about this story if you search for Xena the Warrior Puppy. And on that happy note.....
I have to go. It is a rather gloomy day, the kind when you don't really want to do a whole lot......but I have to get going, things are awaiting.

Today I met up with Lexi. I haven't spent time with her in a while and it was so good to catch up! And it was also nice for me to enjoy the company of somebody that is well-spoken and has something interesting to say. We were supposed to go and watch Catching Fire because we saw The Hunger Games last year. Well, the movie didn't show at noon (as it was listed online) so we went back to Coffee Rosters, were we had ran into each other earlier. We were both disappointed because we really wanted to see the movie, so hopefully we can see it another time. Now I'm home, it's getting dark out, I think I might take Chhaya out again. I took a Midol earlier because my stomach was cramping and I think that laying in my cozy bed, under the covers with some thick socks on my feet sounds way more appealing tonight than some 7" heels and lingerie.

The Nobel Peace Price is getting announced on Friday.....it's going to be interesting to see who will be awarded the medal this year. I'm excited because Malala Yousafzai is nominated, only 16 years old but such a brave, smart and driven young girl. She is a great role model for young girls all over the world. I hope that her voice will be heard and that much deserved changes about girls getting an education and women's rights in certain parts of the world will be acknowledged and taken seriously. I am also excited over Denis Mukwege, a doctor from Congo that specializes in treating women subjected to gang rape and torture. Then my man Vladimir Putin is also nominated.......I'm not so sure about this nomination. I mean, I think Putin is a very SEKSI and smart man but his dealings with the Pussy Riot and his views on homosexuals and transgenders and the laws implemented against the LGBT community in Russia are far from peaceful. Putin does not need the Peace Price for now, he needs a strong woman to slap some sense and fear into him. Like me! I am also happy to see Edward Snowden as one of the nominees, (out of 265) I absolutely agree with what he did and applaud it. I don't view him as a traitor, a see him as somebody that did us a favor. If you think it is something positive to live under surveillance, with little or no privacy and no knowledge about that you are being observed then maybe you should emigrate to North Korea or China. We found out about the NSA, imagine what stuff we don't know about still. The government should not have too much power, the people should have the ultimate power. I think that many brave acts and certain progress in bred out of hardship and misery. When we are too comfortable and have everything at our fingertips we don't feel the need to change stuff, speak up or act because we are already content and want to stay in our comfort zone. People that have a hard life and face daily injustices on the other hand, for those individuals it only makes sense to try to change things, they are willing to fight and stand for what's right. Go Malala!
I still do not understand why Obama got awarded the Peace Price in 2009? Was it basically a disguised personal award to him being this country's first black president somehow, or has he actually worked actively for peace? Although to me he is not black, he is of mixed race, if we are going to be politically correct about the issue. Another thing that has been bothering me for the last couple of days is the statement he made a while back about that Trayvon Martin could had been his son. What about Philip Chism, could that also be his son? Where is the justice for Colleen Ritzer, where are the nationwide headlines and attention for her?
How come Obama doesn't mention what happened to her? She has been on my mind lately,
I feel so sad for her and her family and friends. Sometimes this world makes no sense.
We need more people actively advocating and working for peace and positive changes!

It was so difficult to get out of bed this morning.....well midday cause I didn't wake up until around 11 30. I usually lay around in bed for while before I get up unless I have to be somewhere. I like to cuddle with Chhaya and stretch for a while before getting out of bed.
It warmed up here and it was so nice outside today, in the high 20's instead of some frigid single digits. That makes a huge difference. Me and Chhaya went for a walk in Kenai......so pretty and wintery out.





After that I went to the pool. And then some shopping. I bought a freshly baked (still hot) apple pie that I am bringing into work tonight. I'm going to incorporate the apple pie somehow in my stage routine, maybe sit in it? And then auction it off to the highest bidder, starting bid $ 200.



Me last night and my two funds. I case you don't know, I collect money for two funds that I started, one is a spay and neuter fund (for local animals) and the other is for an abused women and children local shelter (Lee Shore). I haven't been collecting lately because I feel a bit weird (embarrassed) asking people to donate, almost like I'm begging (although NONE of the proceeds go to me). But I need to start bringing out my funds at work more because I would like to donate the money before Christmas and then I can start all over again. I heard about another animal charity on the radio today that I would like to collect for. It's for funding vets and the supplies needed to mainly spay and neuter dogs and cats out in the rural Alaskan villages. You can read about it here www.akrvo.org
Even if what I collect won't be that much.......something is always better than nothing.
It makes me happy in my heart to contribute something positive to people and animals in need.



I was kind of tired at work last night and the club was so smokey towards the end that I couldn't stand it anymore. There is a pregnant girl at work, I don't know what to say about stripping when pregnant......I guess you do what you have to do in order to make money, I can just speak for myself and say that I wouldn't want to be in that situation. But you never know sometimes in life. The thing with this particular girl though is that she is smoking! I think it is really bad to smoke when you are pregnant, SO selfish. Is not not common knowledge or what? I am pretty sure she already has a kid, I don't engage with her because when she first started I got a trashy and druggie vibe from her and that's not my kind of thing. Then I was away for a while and now I guess she is pregnant. At least give up the cigarettes until you have the baby! It is so irritating to see her smoke knowing that she is carrying a child, I feel bad for her unborn baby and I wonder why she feels that she needs to put another kid onto this planet when she obviously have a problem taking care of the first one and in my opinion is severely lacking some crucial mothering skills. Smoking is gross. But to smoke when you are pregnant or expose your babies and/or (growing) toddlers and kids to cigarette smoke, that is plain disgusting. If you want to ruin your health with nasty cigarettes then do so but at least have the decency to not expose your kids and your unborn babies to that poison.