Look what I found! Pills to boost my boob size, anti aging and fountain of youth pills. It's perfect! Now I can strip for many more decades! Without any surgeries.
Have you too noticed, (not sure if you these ads run outside Alaska) the Swedish commercials on tv? One is with a guy called Johan that promotes Gevalia coffee. HELLOOOOO! I mentioned Gevalia coffee in my blog and put a pic up at the beginning of January, check for yourself if you don't believe me. For some reason I suspect that Johan is NOT Swedish.....the way he pronounces Gevalia doesn't sound right to me. Next time they need to cast somebody Swedish for a commercial they should turn to the obvious choice, ME.
Then there is the commercial about going to Sweden to buy a Volvo. Do you know what Volvo means in Latin? I roll. Pretty genius, huh? Also a very poplular print on countless of t-shirts I have seen at raves.......VOLVO. Also genius.
But really, if you want to buy a Volvo in Sweden, you should hire me to go with you. I will be your personal guide and translator. I speak perfect Swedish. And I will negotiate on your behalf until the price is just right.
I don't know why people fuss over moms breastfeeding their babies while out in public? That does not offend me whatsoever. Most likely, your mom did that to you when you were a baby and hungry. How is that offensive? It is completely natural. People here get offended so easy, over nothing.
I am going to start getting offended when people walk past my table with their huge asses in my face while I am dining out. Now that's offensive! Turn your ass away from my plate please!
If the baby is hungry, it needs to eat. DUH! The process is always done discreetly, I don't think that the breastfeeding moms are trying to put on a show and be sexy. Well, if somebody would dare telling me anything, let's say if I was the mom, I sure would let them know what I would find offensive about them. And I can be pretty mean when I want to......
And what is up with not wanting to breastfeed your baby? Sure, if for some reason you can't produce milk. But hello, that milk is there for a reason - the baby. I would never solely give my baby, if I had one, some formula. Maybe after a while as a supplement but my baby would get breast milk first. Wasn't there a formula recall a while ago? I think I heard something about that.
Believe it or not, those fatty lumps that get so much attention, boobs, are there for babies. Weird, I know.
Do some women not breastfeed because they don't want the mom boobs? Or because they actually think that store bought formula would be better for the baby somehow? I am not sure.
But I do know that the day I would, not that I think that I would want to.....but IF I would have a baby, I sure hope that my dancing days would be over. At least for a while, hopefully for forever maybe? I would be a huge pregnant woman, I can guarantee that. HUGE! And my boobs would be used for feeding my baby. Mom boobs. After that I wouldn't want to display them in a strip club anymore (only if they still looked good, I am vain).
Unless circumstaces would absolutely force me to do so.
I have worked with pregnant girls and girls that just popped a kid out.
You can tell when a girl is pregnant, well a while into the preganacy you can. (Some are not pregnant but look like they are.) Most clubs will let you work until you start showing. You can hide the bumb by wearing a flowy baby doll style dress in darker colors. Or a corset. I once saw a girl wear a skin tight shiny dress that really put her obvious baby bump on display. It looked very strange, in a freaky way. I also heard of clubs that had girls work basically until their due dates. Weird. Not MY cup of tea.
As far as the girls that come back to work shortly after giving birth.....wow. Those I really feel bad for. They would pump milk in the dressing room in between stage sets and dances. Milk would leak through their outfits. Maybe the daddy wasn't in the picture? Or maybe they were together with a guy that depends on the woman to keep them up on the rent and the bills? Because I can't imagine that a woman feels that great about coming to work (in a strip club) with swollen leaky boobs, a floppy belly and a little infant left at home. She can't be that bored with staying home.....yet. Is she missing the loud music, the random interactions, the dancing, the shoes, her coworkers - or does she need the cash?
My friend Rich told me about this one time when he went to a club somewhere in New York. A mature woman went on stage, her name was EL Dreama, pulled her bra off and started squeezing her boobs, milk squirting in every direction. Nice show!
YUM.
