Welcome to Chaos !!

So we just wanted to recap and brag about our findings in room 104 at The Niagara......

1. Crack pipe (we donated it to some local kids).
2. Used condom (we carefully removed it ourselves).
3. Watch (we gave it to The Asian).
4. A brown paper bag containing a Brillo pad. We found this in the dresser. CLASSY!!!

Just to inform you, Julia and Tatiana care about children, we did not give them the crack pipe. We put the crack pipe in the trash. No children or animals were hurt in the process.

The Niagara motel on Colfax Avenue in Denver is managed by an Asian lady that Julia and Tatiana call "The Asian". The Asian lives on the premises with her husband and two shy daughters. The girls thought that The Asian seemed quiet and demure. Little did they know!
Last night Julia and Tatiana woke up to some loud noises outside their room.
Finally they realized that it was The Asian screaming at one of the guests at The Niagara. The Asian was yelling "get the fuck out" and "motherfucker" in a heavy Asian accent. It sounded really funny. The girls enjoyed this moment immensely but couldn't believe that The Asian mastered such foul language! It was great, another adventure at The Niagara!

While sitting on the toilet straining, Tatiana glanced around the bathroom thinking about how dirty it was.

“Does Asian ever clean in here?” Tatiana wondered to herself.

Suddenly something caught her eye under the heating unit on the floor.

“I hope that’s not what I think it is,” Tatiana thought as she called for Julia.

Julia kneeled down on the floor, then jumped back with disgust.

“That’s a fucking crack pipe!! I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Someone was in here smoking crack!!” Julia was upset with the idea of someone smoking crack in Room 104.

“And Asian didn’t even clean this shit up!!” Tatiana was more concerned about the lack of cleaning than the actual crack pipe.

Tatiana proceeded to pick up the crack pipe, which had been broken into two pieces and was badly scorched. She carried it with some napkins to the outside trash can.

The following day, curiosity got the best of Julia and she decided to explore under both of the beds. She was thrilled to find a gold watch under her bed, but Julia and Tatiana were in for a surprise when Julia looked under Tatiana’s bed. A stretched out, used up condom was just laying there in plain sight. When Tatiana caught a glimpse of it she was traumatized. It was the final straw.

“This is unacceptable!” Tatiana screamed. “We can’t let Asian get away with this!”

Julia and Tatiana both decided that rather than remove the condom personally, they would show it to Asian and request a partial refund of the $200 they had reluctantly agreed to pay for the room after some unsuccessful bartering. They hoped Asian would understand that it was not their condom.

Also, there was a horrible stench of sewage coming from the bathroom constantly. Tatiana and Julia had to go spend their own hard earned money on incense and candles to help with the smell. There were talks of getting bleach and Draino with hopes of getting to the bottom of things. In addition to the sewage, the room reeked of about three weeks worth of chain smoking and crack smoking. The door remained open at all times, except while they slept at night.

Julia carefully thought things through, and decided not to use the laundry facilities at the Niagara Motel. After all of the recent information, she was paranoid that some bloody sheets had probably been frequenting those washing machines. She would rather go one week with no clean underwear than wash hers in a germ ridden washing machine. And with all of the pervs lurking around the Niagara, there was a definite fear that the panties would be stolen from the laundry room.

Julia and Tatiana are savvy businesswomen. If some pervs want to sniff their panties, they are going to have to pay top dollar for that privilege.

Not much had changed at the Niagara since last time they visited, the same couple of families bundled up in one room with three kids ( the infamous Colfax motel children problem), some lonely and curious pervs wanting to befriend Julia and Tatiana (but who could blame them, Julia was walking around in various stages of undress most of the time in the room and outside, while feeding her nicotine habit) and of course room 103, the constant turnaround of sprawled out on the floor or bed sleeping with the door wide open exhausted and questionable patrons and the occasional rent by the hour guests. Julia and Tatiana thrived in the exciting environment.

The first morning they woke up from Asian yelling at the top of her lungs at some guest, she called him motherfucker and told him to leave. Julia and Tatiana symphatized with poor hardworking Asian and her two young daughters that had to grow up seeing all of this. Tatiana decided she would buy the girls a board game.

(Written by Julia).

Your chance to help a stripper: chemical burn question
#6964446 - 08/17/06 11:15 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



By some chance occurence, I've wound up in Denver with a two strippers, Julia and Tatiana. Due to oppressive heat and lack of clientele, the two are in Denver to work at a local topless concern for the next two weeks. However, a couple weeks ago Tatiana developed a chemical burn on the back of her upper thigh. We think this burn developed from exposure to Ortho-Max Roach Control, but it could be from exposure to Pine-sol, bleach, ammonia, meth lab explosions, unsanitized stripper poles...who knows? The burn was patchy and showed up as bright red with blisters. As the burn has had time to heal, the skin is now very smooth (and a little shiny) and still a shade of light red/pinkish. It is still very evident that there is a burn there. Clearly, this could adversely affect her nightly take. Make-up can only do so much for her, and she wants a quicker, more permanent solution to this problem.

I will offer to purchase a lap dance from Tatiana for the poster giving the best advice...redeemable only in Vegas after September 1st.

And, since I'm a good poster: www.fargosisters.com

Post Extras:

DoubleDown
addict


Reged: 12/02/04
Posts: 501
Re: Your chance to help a stripper: chemical burn question [Re: gonores]
#6964484 - 08/17/06 11:19 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



gonores,

hmm.. not quick (as in here today, gone tommorrow), but perhaps a skin graft? that'd require a plastic surgeon.

consult a dermatologist maybe? perhaps you could PM Matt Flynn.

g'luck!

-dd

Post Extras:

TheWorstPlayer
Carpal \'Tunnel


Reged: 12/08/04
Posts: 14998
Loc: No longer losing money bluffin... Re: Your chance to help a stripper: chemical burn question [Re: gonores]
#6964584 - 08/17/06 11:31 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply





see a doctor?

I think that must be the right answer

Post Extras:

SNOWBALL138
A warning to us all


Reged: 01/22/05
Posts: 3840
Loc: Brentwood Babylon Re: Your chance to help a stripper: chemical burn question [Re: gonores]
#6964767 - 08/17/06 11:52 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Go get her a Henna tattoo to help distract people from it. You can either cover it up or incorporate it into a design.

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ridonkulous
old hand


Reged: 07/12/06
Posts: 750
Loc: South Bend Re: Your chance to help a stripper: chemical burn question [Re: SNOWBALL138]
#6964825 - 08/18/06 12:00 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Amputate the leg. One-Legged strippers are sure to be high in demand.

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crzylgs
addict


Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 531
Loc: He deserved it. Re: Your chance to help a stripper: chemical burn question [Re: ridonkulous]
#6964894 - 08/18/06 12:09 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Something tells me strippers will already have better make-up tips than OOT can provide.

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Patrick del Poker Grande
Rocket Scientist


Reged: 04/27/04
Posts: 9164
Loc: Sciencing Rockets Re: Your chance to help a stripper: chemical burn question [Re: gonores]
#6964946 - 08/18/06 12:16 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply




Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I will offer to purchase a lap dance from Tatiana for the poster giving the best advice...redeemable only in Vegas after September 1st.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Can residents of the Denver area come collect the prize right now?

Post Extras:

henrikrh
Qugly Weasel


Reged: 05/23/05
Posts: 2410
Re: Your chance to help a stripper: chemical burn question [Re: Patrick del Poker Grande]
#6965067 - 08/18/06 12:28 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Maybe she could wear a sarong or some sort of cloth around her waist (think belly-dancer) that goes low enough to cover the burn, but is still see-through and hot.

Edit: Or, body-paint herself, covering up the area, maybe a dragon or a chinese character, simple and not suspicious.

Edited by henrikrh (08/18/06 12:29 AM)

Post Extras:

Evan
Defeated Soldier


Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 12543
Loc: Pasadena-bound Re: Your chance to help a stripper: chemical burn question [Re: gonores]
#6966074 - 08/18/06 02:41 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Tell her to go to her cave and find her power animal.

I win.

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(Written by Julia).