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Been Lazy

I have been lazy all summer I running all of July and August (until yesterday) if I remember it right, just walks with Chhaya. And laying out tanning. I finally went for a run the other day and yesterday and it really felt good! I don't know why I get so lazy and unmotivated sometimes because running makes me feel good, healthy and energized. I've been feeling like a sack of dough but just two times of moving that dough around made me feel much better.
The weekend is here and it looks like the sunshine and warm weather will continue. Me and Chhaya are wishing everybody a great weekend!

I love her! ♥

New Crushes

Ohhhhhh, I have some new crushes that I need to announce to the world. Ready? Almost two weeks ago on a Saturday I was about to go into work but did not want to. I get lazy and unmotivated a lot, the longer I stay home without working the harder it is to go to work, plus in general work is boring and not at all mentally stimulating. I get more stimulated at home with a book or my laptop. So I was texting with a friend before work and I said something in the lines of....."uuuuuugh, I have to go and feel tortured at work, I'm just going to have the dj play some Finnish death metal for me tonight". Well, little did I interesting music from Finland would soon become.....! That night at work I ended up talking to a person about music for a long time. Music and Burning Man. Sometimes I meet cool people and all I do is talk about interesting topics. And I love nights like that. Because I get stimulated. The next day I started researching some music this person had enthusiastically told me about.
So ladies first, to be polite. I am now in awe of and "in love" with Taylor Momsen of The Pretty Reckless. That girl is bad ass! Of course I knew about her before but I didn't really listen to her music or watch the videos, besides hearing a song here and there (on the radio or at work). Well, I've spent some time doing that and wow.....Taylor is quite amazing and also super hot. I want to be Taylor Momsen!
And my other supercrush is Ville Valo from the band HIM.
Ville is from Finland. Of course there are some HIM songs in my play list at work now. Ville is...WOW! I am just mesmerized by this beautiful man. Ville if you ever read this - call me! Soita minulle, Ville!
So those are my new crushes. I know, I know I'm childish and immature but I've always been like this. It doesn't matter that I get older.......when I'm 90 I will still get excited over the most childish things.

(Image borrowed from Wikipedia.)

And some recent pics. I could not decide whether to pick the smile or the one with no smile, so here are both.

Dump Day

Today is dump day. It's one of the small adventures I find amusing here in this village, believe it or not. That speaks volumes about how exciting it is to live in Kenai, right? I loaded up my truck with trash and all the stuff I'm going to sort into the appropriate recycling containers once I'm at the dump. Chhaya likes going to the dump because there are a ton of birds there. I mean like thousands, it's crazy. If I were an ornithologist that is the place I would hang out on a regular basis. And it's fun in general to go there for Chhaya, plus she gets a treat from the dump attendant on the way out, she knows this by now and starts drooling as we pull up.

What else can I tell you about today? It's very windy, the winds of fall have arrived I think.
I also collected 10 stars at Coffee Roasters as of today and that means that I get $5 off my next visit which is the price of my daily latte. It only took me less than two weeks to collect 10 stars, meaning I could had had about two free lattes a month for how many months now? Whatever! OK!

Well, I need to get going I have a long to do list today.

Resonates With Me

The other day I came across a very good article about a woman and her rescued pitbull Theodore that resonates with me because of my experiences with Chhaya.
I know I have some dog lovers reading my blog, so if you have time read it
here and smile at the photos of Theodore living a good life now. I tried to pick a favorite picture of him but they are all good. I love it when abused dogs find good and happy forever homes. There are so many dogs that are neglected/abused/abandoned/bred for profit. Almost every day there are stories about severely abused dogs, many of them pitbulls. I wish I could help them all, I feel sick and sad when I read about them. Animal abuse needs to get looked at as a serious crime and offenders need to get harsher punishments and be banned from being around animals and register as monsters. Just like pedophiles are forbidden to be around children and have to register as sex offenders.
Chhaya is an ONLY dog, like an only child. Although I did what I thought was the best for her.....socialized her, took her to obedience classes etc she decided sometime after her first heat that she did not appreciate the presence of other dogs in her face. She had a few doggie friends throughout the years that she played really well with and I wish she could have a friend (or a few) now, because I know how badly she wants to play. But she is unpredictable and very strong. And sometimes dogs get into it with each other. I'm not going to take her to the dog park and hope for the best, meaning that no fight will break out. Even a dog that is considered well behaved can have a moment of not behaving. I remember when I took Chhaya to her doggie training class once and the trainers dog, seemingly unprovoked, decided to jump on Chhaya. The trainers dog, not my ferocious pitbull.
I've learned throughout the years by trial and sometimes error on my part that Chhaya is very territorial. She interacts the best away from the house in a neutral area. She does not like too many strange visitors (in her eyes) coming to the house and she does NOT like kids for some reason, I think they scare her.
I got bit by the family dog twice on the face/head as a toddler and when I was nine years old and visiting Poland a dog bit my hand. I survived and I'm fine and no, the dogs that bit me did not get put down. It is what it is. Chhaya is my best friend, she is a ton of fun, gentle, very polite and well behaved with the people she knows and most strangers too.
Speaking of dogs, we collected over $200 at work that will go to the local no kill shelter. I just have to find the time to drive out there, it's a bit of a drive for me since it's in Nikiski. I can't believe that there are people out there that STILL think it's a good idea to breed their dogs. You need money that bad? I think it's really trailer trash/ghetto behavior to breed dogs. If you need money then why don't you get a job or work extra hours instead of contributing to an out of control pet population problem? Do not fool yourself and others by thinking/saying that you will find good forever homes to all the puppies. Cause you won't.
Although Chhaya has been a problem child sometimes for me (just like LSD to Hofmann) I am SO glad that I got her. Sometimes I wish I would had taken one of her sisters or brothers too and had two little crazy pittskies at home. At least they would had been well taken care of. Never abused, abandoned and not bred.

Me and my (sometimes) little problem child the other night.

Monday Report

Monday's four months left to Christmas! The summer flew by but then again summers always go by fast. It's not over yet though.......plenty of more sunny days to come!
So here is my Monday report. While sipping on my latte this morning I took a pic of this article that made the cover of Alaska Dispatch News today Monday August 24.

I get it, animals are very cute. I would love to pet bears and moose too but most likely they do not want to get cuddled since as we all know, they are not domesticated. And when the bear attacks it is usually the bear that will get the short end of the stick since it will be considered dangerous, then shot and killed. Here is a snippet from the article that I find disturbing, "Everybody stops in the no-stopping zone. There’s no education at all of the fishermen. They’re leaving their beer bottles and Red Bull cans around. If the cubs get a taste of Red Bull, and investigate at the campground and get a taste of it again, that’s the end of that bear. People are dropping their tins all over,” Esch said. One bear, known as BMJ, became tangled in fishing line at one point."
WHY are people so STUPID and DISRESPECTFUL? It's starts with YOU. As in you are responsible for your own behavior. And I am responsible for mine.
After my breakfast (a latte and a scone) me and Chhaya went to the beach for a walk.

There were some fireweed there, some still has a few pink petals left on top and look like this.

But most of the flowers look like this.

I found a small yellow leaf laying on the sand all alone. I wonder where it came from?

And Chhaya found a fish carcass. Poor little fishy!

Then I also found a bunch of trash, picked it up and recycled it. I guess whoever that left that on the beach must had been too busy with other stuff than picking up after themselves.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels that trashing nature is a very bad personality trait.
I found this comment under the article about the bears in Haines.
"Littering.... When I moved to Alaska in 1975 (Valdez), I dropped a smoke out the window while riding in a friends car. She made me get out and told me to find MY cigarette butt and to pick up any litter while I was at it. When I got back in the car, she told me that Alaskan's DO NOT litter. If she ever caught me doing it again, she'd beat the crap outta me. I have tried to instill this into my children's behavior over the years, and it worked. Sounds like my friend could teach these idiots a thing or two!"

Exactly. Do not litter and teach your offspring to show some respect for nature as well.

Fireweed Field

There is a huge field in Sterling full of fireweed flowers. I've been wanting to take some pictures there before the fireweed is gone for the I asked my friend Jim if he could help me out by being the photographer. So we went out there this evening.
The fireweed petals were already gone, so soon so fast! I was just here a week or so ago!
But the beautiful pinkish color was still around and that's what I wanted. They say that when the fireweed blooms out winter is just around the corner. So Carpe Diem! This summer is probably the most beautiful I have experienced since I've been in Alaska, so many sunny days. Absolutely gorgeous! I love the long days but they are getting shorter and shorter fast.
Here are some of the pics from the fireweed field.

Thank You to my friend Jim for the photography.


Look at my little rascal. She has to rip out the stuffing in her toys and when she finds the squeaker she tears it up. Her binki teddies that she "nibbies" usually do not meet this fate. She just lays down and kind of sucks on them.
I will put the stuffing back into her toys and sew them back up or throw them out when they are beyond help and get her new ones. I don't care what she does as long as she is happy. She is really good though, she doesn't chew up anything that is not hers......anymore.
When she was a baby she chewed up one of my sandals, a very nice one too. And a pair of my work heels. And a brand new phone, she attacked it and left in in a hundred pieces. And for some reason she picked on the backs of a few photo albums I had, for some reason she really liked them.

Behind the house there is a forest. When we walk there Chhaya always have to search inside a hole that I call "the mousie hole". She is obsessed with small rodents and gets super excited if she is lucky enough to actually catch a glimpse of one.

After a few days of sunshine we had a heavy rainfall here yesterday afternoon.
Accompanied by thunder and lightning. Chhaya's eyes get really round when she hears the thunder and she looks upwards. We took a nap together on the couch, she is the best cuddler.


Going into work is not a priority when the late evenings are beautiful and sunny. Me and Chhaya ran into a boy moose yesterday evening......the correct term would be bull moose.

He was so pretty and curious about us. He stood and watched us for a while before he decided to run into the safety of the forest, then he came out and looked at us again. I think the moose see Chhaya and want to take a better look at her. I can see it in the way they look at her, ears forward, sniffing in our's SO cute! I was telling him to hide and not walk around in the open so others, meaning people, can see him. Because......SADLY hunting season is just around the corner and there are already plenty of trigger happy crazies driving up and down the roads by my house in their trucks and on their four wheelers scouting for prey. I told the boy moose he can come and live in my yard and sleep behind my house where nobody will be able too see him or hurt him. I would make sure he had fresh water everyday. And carrots.

No, I don't understand the hunting thing. A lot of people around here claim they hunt because they fill their freezer up with meat. OK, perhaps some people do survive like that but most people I know fill up their fridge and freezer by going to the grocery store like everybody else. Unless you live in rural Alaska where there are people that still rely on subsistence hunting. Otherwise I think that the hunting is just a way for people to run around in the wilderness with their rifles out and live out their bloodthirsty video game Rambo soldier fantasies. I think it's gross. And don't even get me started on women that hunt. To me and yes, this is my personal opinion and I am fully aware that opinions are like assholes......OK. But to me women that hunt are the same kind of psychos that sit around with the "boys" and loudly roar for their football team while they crush beer cans into their forehead. SO NOT feminine.
I think that there are enough moose that perish here every year in vehicle crashes. That meat is actually not discarded, people sign up on some list for that meat. A lot of moose calves die every year when they do not survive the winter or fall prey to predators like bears. No need to go hunting for the rest of the moose population. I know that everybody that think hunting is FUN won't agree with me. Whatever. I suggest you start eating less meat. How about that?

This is how I grew up picturing moose and how I still feel about them, majestic beautiful creatures. Her is Skutt with princess Tuvstarr.


This afternoon started as usual. I woke up and looked outside. Was it raining again or perhaps sunshine today? Blue sky and sun after a few days of gray and rain. Nice! I started with taking Chhaya out and laying in the grass for a while, enjoying the sun. Then it was latte time. Have to say that I am a bit disappointed with my regular coffee shop. Since a while now they have been offering a frequent buyer program and I did not find out about that until the other day. I go there several times a week, how difficult would it had been to inform a loyal customer about that? Boooooooo! I could had racked up several free lattes by now. So not cool.
Later in the afternoon I got hit with painful stomach cramps. Awful. What did people do before pills like Pamprin or headache pills? I was very uncomfortable until the Pamprin kicked in about an hour after taking a pill. When I felt better I decided that me and Chhaya would spend some quality time together while it's still flip flop weather out. We went to a nice area that is fun for a walk, lots of pretty fireweed growing there.

Some of the fireweed flowers are tall.

After the walk we went to the beach. As always it is quite majestic there. I often stare at the waves rolling in and wonder if they came all the way from California or even further?
The ocean makes me feel small. So insignificant. After I'm gone the ocean will still be here, my life will be over and long gone, eventually only a faint memory, if even that in somebody's mind but the ocean will still be here......the waves rolling up on the beaches around the world.
Where will I be? Gone forever or somewhere else? The ocean makes me think about life and death. And then I feel sad.

Chhaya went to bed as soon as we got home. She usually wants to play tug in the evening when she has lots of energy but not tonight. I'm ready for sleep myself.

Don't Get It

Last night I was going through my closet that is stored away in bins, deciding on what to keep and what to get rid of. Perfect Sunday evening occupation. I don't have cable and sometimes I don't have a single channel on the TV and other times I have two or three. I think five is the most I ever have. If I can watch The Big Bang Theory a few times a week I'm happy. I still wish Sheldon was my real life friend. So anyhow, while folding clothes the Teen Choice awards were on. So I'm watching......I'm not really sure how that awards show works but from what I understand TEENS, meaning 13 -19 vote for artists in different categories. Britney won and accepted a style icon award. There were some other artists and actors/actresses that won different awards, like Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande etc.
I can totally understand that teenage girls like Swift and Grande. What I did find really weird though is that some of the presenters were ancient, considering it is an awards show geared towards kids. Yes, to me a teen is a kid. When I was 15 I thought that 30 plus was really old. Ellen? I love Ellen but come on now......! Ellen was getting the "it's OK to be gay" message across. Great and all but are there not any openly gay teenage performers out there?
John Stamos? Really? Johns Stamos, what and why? He did so not belong there, go back to AA or something. And to top it off, not only weird but also very disturbing. Robin Thicke performed with some Flo Rida dude. Robin Thicke is the greasiest slime ball ever. When I look at him I think pedophile, his current "girlfriend", did she turn 21 yet? Another borderline pedo was on stage, Wilder Walderrama. Old dude with a taste for young girls. BARF! What is up with using old perverts as presenters? So back to the national perv, Robin Thicke. The song him and that rapper "performed" was basically about ass and sex. I looked up the lyrics and just like any other Robin Thicke song that gets any play, it is dumb as fuck. Yeah, nothing like having an old dude romance teen girls about his anaconda wanting to get into a girl's ass and "hit it til I jackpot", while a herd of back up dancers gyrate around him and the other dude dressed in shorts that barely covers their asses. SO GROSS!
Throughout the show the presenters were throwing out "inspirational messages" to the kids in the audience and at home watching like, love yourselves, it's great to be different, be strong, be fearless, follow your dreams and bla bla bla. So is it then appropriate to end the show with the great message as loving yourself so much that you need to squeeze into some booty shorts and twerk around a much older dude that wants to stick in in you? I don't get it.
All this talk about loving yourself and be yourself but in reality social media tells teenage girls and tweens that to be really "liked", admired and fit in you need to get fake tits, a fake ass, a nose job, must have skinny thighs and some ratty extensions. Desperately chasing and racking up "likes" from people you will never ever meet in real life. Pathetic and sad.
One short segment of the show covered unknown teens that actually do something positive for the world, society and themselves as fight sex trafficking and work on their academic goals. A song called Fight Song was performed by a girl I never heard of before, Rachel Platten. And that was THE BEST moment of the evening I think.
Oh yes, I am 100% aware of that what I do for a living does not contribute to anything world changing. It's merely how I cover my bills, expenses for me and Chhaya and add to my savings. But besides working as a dancer, I do not play dumb at work or in "real" life or cater to any dudes body fantasies by altering my appearance. I do not give a shit if some dude out there thinks that my ass is not big enough or that my boobs need to be a fake D. I would never ever breathe in that kind of a guys direction anyways. THAT if anything is what they need to teach young girls. Do not alter yourself for attention you mistake for love and be independent. Rely on yourself.
Me, yesterday afternoon at Kaladi, pondering what to write about next......