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Mmmmmm of my favorite things to eat. So I decided to actually buy a few stalks of rhubarb and make something edible myself instead of going out to a cafe to get rhubarb pie. All I did was cut the rhubarb into small pieces, add sugar and vanilla beans......30 minutes in the oven, drizzle with heavy cream and then eat it all up. It was sweet and tarty and delicious. So easy that even a non cooking person like me could do it.

I am at the coast again. A pretty view from the balcony as this day came to an end. I am going to be up for a while, watch music videos and read.

Rimsky-Korsakoffee House

Tried a new place for coffee and cake this evening....Rimsky-Korsakoffee House. Named after a Russian composer (Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov), the cafe itself is in the living room of a house that was built in 1902. I like that it's open late, until 1 am on weekends, great for a night person like me that loves late night snacks. Interesting atmosphere, I've had better coffee other places but Rimsky's is still worth a visit if you are in the mood for something sweet after the sun goes down.


I saw this on Craigslist a while ago,
"Have you ever been told to "Smile More" by someone? How did that make you feel? Good, bad, indifferent? We're hoping to change that. We're casting for a social-only video for a new health & beauty start up, but we're taking a different, much more empowering approach, and we're looking for real women (not actors), ages 21-35, all ethnicities, all looks who have experienced being told to "Smile More" by others.
The video role will require speaking in your own words, directly to a cellphone, in locations in and around the Lake Oswego, Tigard, and Portland Metro areas.
Total time required filming is 20 minutes max and we will compensate you $20 cash."
So I sent a reply with a link to a blog entry from last year when I was at Burning Man where I mention the phenomena of suddenly being approached by a stranger, (always a man) who is telling you to smile. But I did decided not to participate in the shoot although I got the offer to because I already had plans that weekend. Otherwise you would had been able to view me explain why I think people that do not know you at all but demanding that you "Smile" are completely inappropriate and annoying as fuck.
You won't get a smile out of me if you happen to tell me that. You might get a lecture instead. Or a FUCK OFF BITCH depending on my mood.
Coincidentally enough the letter of the week in last week's edition of the Portland Mercury covers this strange smile phenomena. Here you and ponder.

Met Gala

Long time no write! Let me see if I can come up with something witty to say this chilly and grey evening here in Portland. I have nothing better to do anyway......just laying around on the couch.
So the Met Gala happened last week. The event where the who is who in the world of fashion and celebs put on weird outfits and oooooh and aaaaah over each other and give each other air kisses and fake compliments. The theme was "Camp" (style). I had no idea what that means so I had to look it up, no it has nothing to do with camping in the forest. Anyhow, look it up on Wikipedia if you want to know the meaning. I am too lazy to explain, something to do with exaggerated, theatrical and homosexual. Think drag queens.
One of the most beautiful girls, Rihanna did not attend this year. I really like her. I think she chose not to go. Good for her.
That thing, the Met Gala seems annoyingly fake to me. And who the hell wants to willingly walk around with a chandelier on their head all night long and a dress with chandeliers on it? I guess Katy Perry does. One of the attendees though is one of my faves - RuPaul. Because he IS camp without having to try, he also seems to be a genuinely nice and amazing human being. RuPaul for President! If I recall it right I have said that before in the blog.

Now to the evening's biggest spectacle - Lady Gaga. Four outfit changes? Who changes outfits FOUR times in one evening? I will tell you who. Dancers aka strippers that are bored with nothing better do do or perhaps feeling a bit jittery from too many energy drinks or some other substance. A performer like Britney. Runway models. That's it. Doing four outfits at the Met Gala is in my opinion trying way too hard. And let's talk about two of those outfits.....

The first one (pink dress) reminds me a lot of Angelyne, an old Los Angeles icon, in fact Lady Gaga is like a knock off Angelyne. The second outfit (fishnets plus panties and bra) that style with the fishnets over the panties and a bra plus stripper heels, yes those are exotic dance heels, dancers have been wearing that style for years now. Another example of a celeb taking a dancer (stripper) style, wearing it to some event and pretending to be innovative and original when in fact they are not. Just like pole dancing or what dancers call pole tricks, when done in strip clubs it was frowned upon but now it's like artistic and beautiful and non dancers compete in it. Bitch please.... it was beautiful and artistic 20 years ago too when it was basically only seen in strip clubs. Dancers (strippers, I say dancer) have been the originals in many ways.
There was another Met Gala attendee wearing a pair of glittery and a size too large stripper heels. At least get a size that fits.
I have a suggestion, how about everyone just showing up au naturel next year? THAT would be innovative and brave if anything! Like this!

Hairy! What is shaving and waxing? Pale! No fake tan or tanning bed. Bruised and an ingrown hair! No Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs. Just be YOU.
Met Gala 2020 theme - Au Naturel.

Beach Time

Spending a few days by the beach to relax, sleep, eat, read and study. Everything is going well except the studying....all the other beach time stuff is going great, especially the eating!


And Happy Easter!

Scored A Ticket!

I scored a ticket to see Marilyn Manson! FINALLY! I have been wanting to see him for a long time but every time the tickets have either been sold out or he has not been anywhere close to my location. Last year me and Desi were almost going to go to Oakland all the way from Bend to see him and there was a meet and greet option that we wanted to do but in the end we didn't and I regret that a bit but in a few months I will see Marilyn Manson in Portland instead (no meet and greet though). Yeay! Besides him I would love to see Die Antwoord (Yolandi is great) and Rihanna of course.
And speaking of tickets, the Man burns in 148 days. I got a ticket to Burning Man this year, I feel very lucky and also grateful but it's over four months until Burning Man and nothing is for sure as of yet. :-D

Life Is Suffering

There is a guy in India, Raphael Samuel who is talking about wanting to sue his parents for giving birth to him. Now whether he will sue or not I don't know, his parents are actually amused and proud, his Mom is lawyer so she basically told him to bring it on. I find his beliefs interesting and I agree with and share a lot of his thoughts and opinions. Like, "There's no point to humanity. So many people are suffering. If humanity is extinct, Earth and animals would be happier. They'll certainly be better off. Also no human will then suffer. Human existence is totally pointless."
And, "it's wrong to bring children into the world because they then have to put up with lifelong suffering."
I agree. I decided as a teenager, my by OWN thinking to NOT put kids into this world because I did not want to subject a child to this world and humanity because humans are the problem, not planet Earth itself - it's humans. If you are worried about your own children and their future then STOP having more kids. Get a vasectomy or your tubes tied already. Or stop sexing with others.
First of all I believe in population control anyways. I think it is incredibly selfish to have a bunch of kids. It's 2019 not 1819. Evolve with the times. Most people will have children because we are taught that this is what one is supposed to do. The false promise that children are the meaning of life. So go ahead give birth whether you find a suitable partner to have the children with or not and whether you would make a suitable parent. Very little emphasis is put on the being a suitable parent part, just squeeze out kids so they can find a job (hopefully) in the future and become good tax paying citizens. Get student loans to improve their chances of having a higher income, loans that have to be paid off and everything else that we burden ourselves with while living life. The burden of just being alive brings a never ending cycle of obligations.
I personally think that life generally sucks because I am a realist. After all, the first noble truth of Buddhism says that life is suffering. And I have a very good life compared to many. I am independent, I am healthy, I have shelter and food, I have the means to do a lot of fun and interesting things and the list goes on. But I look around and see so much injustice and suffering and I wonder WHY? What is the point of this life? It's the suffering of innocent animals, children and senseless violence against others that makes me feel that life sucks. There is so much misery out there. Look into anti-natalism - a philosophy that argues that life is so full of misery that people should stop procreating immediately. Read this and ponder about whether putting children into this world is such a good idea....
To learn more about this you can check out Nihilanand on Facebook or you can read this BBC article,
Meanwhile I am just going to keep on day at a time.

Busy Studying

I have been busy studying since the beginning of the year and my brain is TIRED....I want to rest. But I am not done yet so I have to keep on going.

Besides that I am discovering coffee shops in Portland. Like Upper Left Rosters where they have their own roaster (this coffee roaster comes from South Korea, I asked). My latte was yummy plus I enjoyed the aroma from the freshly roasted coffee beans so I will definitely return here.

Check out my bird/squirrel and whatever other animals that come by feeder, I have seen bunnies running around here too. I put up some lights for them for ambiance.....!
I love my animal friends.

Are you following the Great American soap opera? It is called MAGA. Exciting new episodes daily! Like these.....I am very amused! This is HUMOR!

So I do know that Donald Trump, the current POTUS is on his third wife, the former supermodel and polyglot Melania. Hey, I am a polyglot and supermodel too! These are known facts. Perhaps I should set my sights at the White House as well? I want to be POTUS though.
I want ALL the power. And I want to hang out with Putin, there will be many summits. I am sure Trump's former wives didn't always think he was such a stellar husband, especially when Ivana, wife number one found out about Marla that later became wife number two. Oh the drama....I told you MAGA is the name of the soap opera.
And then there is this.

At least this woman pulled her head out of her ass and cut the motherfucker.....I would had most likely cut him to pieces with that sword, he actually got away lightly with a sliced hand. At least he should had his dick sliced off.
Ladies.....I have said it before. NO man regardless of where you find him, Tinder (or all the other hook up sites), church, library, grocery store, bar, hiking trail etc will love and care for your child/children the way you do.....or the way you are supposed to do because some "Moms" are shitty Moms. There are good men out there (maybe?) but when you have children, innocent small children, toddlers or babies that you should protect perhaps dating should be on the back burner until your kid/s are old enough to understand, resist or speak up and even then you never know. SO MANY cases of the boyfriend molesting, torturing even murdering innocent children.....WTF ladies WAKE UP. NO man is more important than your child.
Go on dates and do your thing away from the house with the new boyfriend and leave your small children out of it. Get a trusted baby sitter.
Oh and I watched Leaving Neverland yesterday. I don't know what to say.....besides again, how can a Mother allow her child to go on sleepovers at an adult man’s house or hotel room? Then there is the R Kelley thing. Look R Kelley was 27 I think when he married 15 year old Aaliyah and there were always rumors about him and NOW people are shocked and outraged? Whatever. In case you didn't know, Priscilla Presley was 14 when she initially got romanced by Elvis who was 24 at the time. Where is the outrage? Everybody loves Elvis - he is The King.

Sunshine & Snow

The other day I was enjoying the warm sunshine.....

And today the ground is snow covered. Far from as much snow as in some other parts of the country though.

It's Friday evening....I want to go to bed early. Tired. Have a nice weekend everyone!

Keith Flint

What the fuck happened? Keith Flint is gone, he passed away this last Monday so March 4.
I can't believe this, he was only 49 and he was freakin' AMAZING. So sad. I can't believe this. WHY? WHY? WHY?
Back in the day Keith was my HUGE number one crush, I've had a few but the most notable were Nick Carter (Backstreet Boys) and then I regained my senses and it was Keith Flint (the Prodigy), Keoki (a DJ), Chester Bennington (Linkin Park) and Ville Valo (HIM). In fact last time I saw the Prodigy in concert they opened up for Linkin Park in Las Vegas, that was back in 2011. And Chester is gone too, something I could not comprehend for a long time.
The first time I say the Prodigy in concert was at Coachella and I was completely blown away. That performance was the most energetic thing I have ever seen and Keith was electric. Just the best. After that I could not stop talking about was Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith non stop Keith every day. My poor friends patiently listened (and suffered most likely) to how much I just loved Keith and how perfect he was and how much I wanted to meet him and hopefully he would like me too....Seriously, the most adorable guy with a beautiful smile, beautiful face and kind eyes. One evening I just happened to run into a guy named Solomon that was affiliated with XL Recordings in London and the Prodigy was under the label and after he had listened to me blabber about my love for Keith and the Prodigy he said something like, "well if you come to London I will take you to a few of their shows".
He probably thought I was nuts. Well, I packed a suit case, got a one way ticket, left Vegas and spent about three months in London. I went to three Prodigy shows and even saw Keith backstage but I was so shy that I did not know what to say. I could only stare at him while my heart was pounding. Sometimes I get so shy that I can't do anything. Of course I wish I would had at least asked him for a hug. And a picture together. Perhaps forced him to go on a coffee date? Huge regret.
I even went to wherever he was living back then, a train ride from London. I can't recall now if it was Braintree or Chelmsford and I went to the local post office and sent a letter addressed to Keith Flint. Months later when I was back in Vegas I received a signed cd.
I hope Keith is somewhere good now. I wish he had not died like that. It makes me feel really bad for him. I feel sad over this....such a loss of a beautiful human.
Keith Flint one of a kind. ❤️ Much love.
Here is a collage I put on the outside of one of my folders a long time ago.