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Once in a while I feel like a giving sharing kind of human and bring in candy to work. For me and for my lovely co workers and for everybody else to chew on. We have candy by the entrance, the person sitting at the entrance checks IDs, collects the entrance fee and gives change and you can also grab some candy and perhaps leave a tip that goes to the door person.
Sometimes when I am bored, which happens a lot because I have a short attention span and get bored easily, I will stand by the front door and offer my out of this world humor and hand out candy.

I "demand" a tip that goes in the bucket and to the door person. I do this to amuse myself so I don't crawl out of my skin. I either threaten with violence if I don't get a tip or I come up with something witty or funny (according to me) I am pregnant and we are collecting money for my abortion and by the way it is Trump's baby. Or we are having a collection for my upcoming hemorrhoid removal surgery (I just don't get tired of the hemorrhoid jokes), or I need money for my sex change operation. Because I am really a man and the heterosexual male in general is deadly frightened of any attraction to another man. Even though there are more men working in strip clubs than you would guys just don't know it cause you are "blind" for the most part. LOL! Whatever pops in my head in that moment I blurt out.
So last week a group of young troglodytes wandered in and hovered at the entrance like a flock of dimwits. I offered them some candy.....and one of them looked at me with big eyes like I was trying to poison him and blurted out something like accepting candy from a stripper would be stupid. OK.....whatever. I told him to step away from my personal space. BARF. Yes.....I am definitely trying to give you tainted with dirt or poison candy because all I need is to get into some legal trouble over some troglodyte that means nothing to me.
How about focusing on psychos giving out bad Halloween candy to little kids who just have to go trick or treating because getting candy from strangers is more important than the safety of children? Or how about all the good ol' church going folks that do things that I would never dream of that married dude with two kids who decided to take a girl about 30 years younger than him to Mexico for some "fun". He met her in can do many things in church, looking for children to rape shouldn't be one of them.
So yes you confused troglodyte, the likelihood of you getting poisoned by some candy I got at the store is basically nil but you can never be too careful in life so I guess I can understand your trepidation. After all, I usually don't eat anything strangers offer me either.


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