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I am up and ready to start my day....went to sleep at 6 and got up a bit after 11. I have lots of stuff to take care of today, look for a plane ticket, get a bag of food for Chhaya, get some food for myself somewhere, pay my phone bill, go to Home Depot, get some stuff for my Mom at Fred Meyer, look for some Manga for my brother.....then I am going home to do dishes, a load of laundry, walk with Chhaya and a jog if I have time before work this evening. Right now I am having my morning latte at Coffee Roasters.

That is a pic of me and one of my very best friends Mikey on my computer. I met him in Vegas, at Utopia (a now closed down but still legendary club) we became good friends and even lived together for a while. He is in the hospital right now, something unexpected and scary happened to him a few days ago but it looks like he is going home later today, he is doing better. I was worried fora while. I love my Skrinkie very much. That is my nickname for him..... ❤ ❤ ❤

Line Up

I am in bed after a nice hot bath, felt like I needed that after work. I wanted to go home at about 2 am because it started out so slow but then it got busier and I ended up staying until closing. I feel really blessed in this moment to lay in a large, soft and warm bed with a snoring Chhaya next to me. It could be worse. This was tonight's line up.......

I've had that black triangle bikini triangle top forever now......the heart hanging in the middle is from PetCo, it's one of those dog or cat bling decorations that you hang from their collar.
Anyways, I am going to sleep is raining outside, I can hear it on my bedroom window. Nice. I am already looking forward to my latte and some lunch tomorrow when I wake up.....


I took Angelica to Veronica's yesterday for lunch. Veronica's is located in Kenai and the building was built in 1918, it's all wood and very charming. I like the food there.

What I also like is that you can buy artwork from artists inside. Like this pretty oil painting.

Nice view from the window.

Afterwards we took Chhaya for a few laps around the Kenai sports field.

I am about to take a bath and get ready for work. Don't know why but I have been so TIRED lately, I could probably curl up in bed and fall asleep right now. At work I start yawning around 2 am and want to go home. Feeling exhausted.

Pay It Forward

I am sitting at Coffee Roasters, finishing up my latte and crying because I have just read some "Pay It Forward " stories online and that makes me cry, I have a very soft heart. I forgot my phone at home, I was going to upload some new pics from it on here but that has to wait to later.
Pay It Forward, isn't that one of the nicest concepts ever, I love that and I have to do more of it. I love making connections with strangers on a pure, selfless level.....the human connection. With nothing wanted or expected in return. Last night at work I whipped out my funds, the cat and dog spay and neuter fund and Tati's Tampon Fund, where all the proceeds will go to a local shelter for women and children and so many people donated. THAT makes me so happy I want to cry even more now but I don't want to scare the barista here at the coffee shop.
I've had some emotional days lately, some sad and difficult things have happened and I have cried a lot, like every day for more than a week but I'm ok. That is how life is sometimes.....unfortunately. I have always said that I am a realist and that life is hard and full of sadness with happiness and fun stuff mixed in to make it better and easier so we can cope with living. Because in the are left alone. Then you die. So sad!
A quick Burning Man original plan fell through and it looks like I will be going to Burning Man alone. My first Burning Man and I am going by myself. I was not going to go first because it didn't feel fun to go on my own but some other Burners told me that The Playa wants me there and that I should just dive in. I think they are right. But I will fill you in on more details when I have made some more decisions regarding it.
Have to run now.....errands and Chhaya are awaiting!


My brother released another game, his second. QB. If you like playing games on you phone you NEED this game! Hot off the press, released today!

Get it here

Answer To A Comment

I got a comment the other day that I want to give a longer answer to so here it is......and Jeff.....thank you for reading and taking time out of your day to comment! :-)

In previous posts you’ve noted that you don’t give out your phone number at work or make phony play dates, lunch dates or fishing trips. Thank you for NOT doing this."

Let me explain here about why I do not give out my number to guys at is nothing personal but what purpose would that serve anyways? I can't sit around and answer my phone all day long and get involved in long conversations during the day, I have other things to do. I know girls that give out their number and then avoid answering their phone, that would be rude I think. The people that have my number have it for a reason, the reason is not so I can avoid their calls. I also know of girls that have a separate work phone just for guys they meet in the club, again.....way too much work for me. I mean, do you ask for and get your doctor's, therapists and barista's phone number as well? If somebody really wants to know more about me, they can read my blog. I know that I am so extremely interesting..... :-D That is what the blog is for - to be read. BUT I want to point out that my blog is read by all kinds of people, not only guys that I meet at work. I actually welcome women to read it so they can see that not all dancers are totally crazy as many people think (many times wrongfully) that we are. In fact, I know several girls that I've had the pleasure of working with that are absolute quality people.
As far as play dates and lunch dates, that is not my thing. I have met guys at work and actually made friends with them outside of the club and went to lunch or dinner and had the best conversations during the meal. But to have lunch or dinner just to try to entice a guy, having to act flirty with him so he comes back in and spends more money on me would feel wrong and be awkward. I am so not a "hustler". When I started dancing I got lectures from other girls on how to "work " guys in that kind of way but it is not my thing and I decided that I wouldn't operate like that. I just can't. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
If somebody wants to buy me something as a gift I am not going to decline but I am not going to have dinner with a guy in order to get a nice purse or something. Leading another person on like that, feigning interest.....I guess I am too honest for that.

"My buddies and I fish the peninsula 2-3 times/year and usually stop at your club for a nite or 2 on each trip. Not big spenders but drop $400-500 per guy most nites. We love the girls, have fun talking to them, always ask them to go fishing and they always eventually blow us off --- once our wallets are empty. We have a blast, try to be respectful. We don’t ask about “daddy issues”. We don’t paw the girls, try to buy “extras” or treat them like sluts. We get it that you are businesswomen making a living; you stay up all nite and work your ass off wearing 7 inch heels. You are not selling sex--- you are selling the illusion that a super hot chic would be attracted to us chumps. We appreciate the effort."

Thank You for appreciating the girls..... ;-) Not all of us have daddy issues (I don't) and we certainly do not want to get treated like sluts. Speaking for myself, anyone trying to paw me or treat me in any way short of respectful is not going to get far with that behavior. And I am glad to see that you realize that we are not selling sex. That is not what a strip club should be about. I call it adult style entertainment. Not going all the way in any shape or form. As far as you being chumps, I doubt that. I have met so many nice and fun guys at work, when you meet somebody interesting money is of no importance.

"Anyway, recently one girl (not FUGLY- a new one, or one that says she’s new), screwed up our fishing by insisting that she wanted to go fishing with us. Even after we’d spent all our money and were leaving she’s still setting this fishing thing up. She’d call or text us as soon as she got up. DO NOT leave without her. We didn’t have her number. She had ours.
All of us except one guy knew the whole thing was stripper BS. But that one guy owned the boat and wouldn’t launch it till she called. He was SURE she would. Needless to say, she didn’t, and we wasted a perfectly good fishing day driving around waiting for this chick to (never) call.
It pissed us off. We were gonna go back to the club the next nite but didn’t and if we do (well, we will eventually) will never buy anything from this chick. Don’t know why some of them do that. Seems like bad business. Maybe get so coked up that their lies outrun their coverage.
Anyway, we appreciate that you DON'T do that. Maybe you miss a dance but you respect your customers and have some class. Maybe "regal" even."

Yeah.....I don't know why people do this. Set up meetings, promise things and then don't deliver. I would feel bad if I did that. This is done all over the place and not only in strip clubs. But I know that girls will get along with everything a guy tells them or asks of them in the club just to squeeze out every dollar they can out of the guy. And trust me, it works. The girls are trying to make as much as they can and some of them don't care how they make it as long as they do. I have been called bitch and stuck up more than once because I have politely declined to give out my number. So be it, call me any name you can think of, I don't give out my number, especially not to somebody calling me bad names. Sometimes when guys don't want to take no for an answer I have been tempted to give out the number to the club, they can call there and ask for me. And I know I am missing out on money for not "playing the game" more enthusiastically......but I try to treat people the way I want to be treated, regardless of if I am at work or not. I don't appreciate when people lie to me or flake on me, so why should I do that to somebody? Money is money but integrity is priceless, right?
Next time you are in town and plan on fishing trips with girls from the club, make sure you have their real number first. Some girls really do like fishing (I don't) and do join in on the fun. Also, what sounds like a great idea at 2 am while slightly or a lot intoxicated doesn't seem as appealing at 6 am the same morning when the alarm rings and it is time to rise and shine and go and catch some fish.....right? ;-)

"The more I think of it, the more I think it has to do with the crazy things girls do and say when they are too high on coke or E---both of which probably make it a lot easier to grind out dances for guys you'd otherwise sneer at. So maybe I'm actually thanking you for not getting too high at work."

Alcohol and drugs do make people say and do things they wouldn't normally say or do while sober. We all know this. That is why most of the things people tell me at work go in one ear and out the other. From what I have experienced it is alcohol that is most present in a bar setting. And I am NEVER intoxicated at work. No drinks or drugs for me at work. I'd much rather do drugs (if and when I do them) at a specially selected occasion with people I know and trust than waste a good pill of E on a random night at work.

Happy future fishing!

I Need

I have been wanting to change out the blogs main pic for some time now. The pics on the front page of me and Julia are cute but no longer relevant since she stopped writing entries on the blog in 2007. I have many pics of myself but none that I would like as my main blog pic. I did a shoot in Vegas a while back and I had a feeling that we (me and the photographer) got a few really good pics of me sitting alone on a very large red rock with the beautiful and colorful desert landscape surrounding me. I thought one of those pics would be a great fit for my blogs main pic. Unfortunately that photographer turned out to be an old angry nutcase and after much exhausting debating back and forth with him and he even insulting me a few times (apparently being a dancer is something really bad in his world although taking pics of one was ok) I ended up with no pics. People like that obviously lead miserable lives, I would personally feel really bad inside if did something like that.
Anyhow, I need pics like these.

And I know of a great photographer that I shot with in Vegas several times, Barry, that can most likely create something similar with me. If we can match our schedules when I go back to Vegas. I have offers to shoot in Yosemite and some farie inspired shoots in Oregon, a birth of Venus idea in New York, not to mention Anchorage several times. Plus all kinds of other locations. Me living in rather remote Kenai at the moment makes it complicated due to traveling, timing and expenses. Otherwise I would add more frequently to my pic collection of myself. I mean.....I would love to have some faerie looking pics of myself since I love faeries and mermaids.....and birth of Venus.....gorgeous!

My Own

I came to a conclusion.....after that stale sandwich I had at the Corner Cafe for $ 10, that making my own gourmet sandwiches at home is much better. Like this masterpiece, on my fave bread (Dave's Killer Bread) some melted cheese with oregano sprinkled on top, fresh sliced organic red onion, sliced organic tomato and avocado. Delicious!

Speaking of Dave's Killer Bread, for some reason they discontinued my absolute favorite kind, the Robust Raisin. I wold eat a whole loaf of that every three days. Soooooo good! So maybe it's a good thing that it got discontinued......I got a bit doughy over the winter months scarfing down bread and butter every day. Now I am back to "normal". When I first came to the US I lived in sunny Long Beach CA and worked in an office. I didn't move around a lot like I used to back in Sweden where you basically walk a lot, the European way of life. I also discovered Taco Bell and Burrito Supremes and thought it was the best thing ever, cheap and tasty.
Well, after a few months I had gained so much weight that I couldn't pull my jeans up past my mid thighs. And I also had a huge butt to go with my new hefty thighs. When I gain weight it settles mostly in my thighs and butt. The weight came off after some time but even today I am not as thin as I used to be when I lived in Sweden.....but whatever.
Tonight I am staying in with movies and ice cream. Angelica is sick and coughing. I sent her downstairs to make some hot tea for herself. Chhaya had her ears cleaned and teeth brushed today, she is already sleeping.


Some selfies of my legs from last night. It is all about the angle when taking a good photo. And light. A bad angle can make you appear larger and stubby and bad light in the face can age you a lot, unless you are a fresh faced teenager that is. Then light doesn't matter. What you have to work with in the first place also matters and helps a lot, of course.
It was an early night for me at work yesterday, not too many people came by. Lots of girls complaining in the office that they were not making any money, I don't know what good that will do.....complaining about it to the boss. What is he going to do? I already offered to make the club a nice Facebook page for advertising purposes but that idea didn't go anywhere and not because of me. The fishing is on hold now due to some fishing restrictions that I am not too familiar with for about two more weeks. It's windy and gray out. August is supposedly the rainiest month summer over soon? I hope not.

Corner Cafe

Yesterday I finally made it to Corner Cafe that I have been curious about. Well......I liked the large comfy couch and the fireplace, very cozy. The coffee was good, K - Bay coffee from Homer but my sandwich was NOT up to par. I ordered the veggie sandwich and for $ 10 I am expecting a very yummy sandwich on quality bread stacked with goodies. This one came on almost stale bread and I just wasn't impressed. The sandwiches at Odie's are still the best in town (Soldotna) and cheaper too. Tatiana the food critic has spoken.

Besides that I woke up around 11 today and started off my day with sweeping the floor, vacuuming and mopping the tiles by the entry door. Now I am having a latte at Coffee Roasters, after this I am going to get some groceries and then I have to brush Chhaya and clip her nails. Maybe a run before work tonight. Nothing exciting to tell you.
Last night a very nice guy that also happens to read my blog once in a while told me that I am an ANOMALY. I told him to write that on the blog but he said he'd rather tell me in person and that I could quote him here instead. So yeah, I am an ANOMALY. Meaning, a deviation from the common. That to me is a quality compliment. The usual compliments about my appearance I have heard countless of times but anomaly I like. Work has slowed down a lot,
I guess the people here fishing have went home.