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Pizza and Latte

Got some breakfast, pizza and a latte.

Back at home now, about to start the getting ready process. Getting ready for a rave, or party as these events are called nowadays, usually involves some more thought than just going out to some regular club. Most people at raves dress more fun, lots of cute accessories and stuff. The party is going until 4 am and I am going to be there until the end. EDC Las Vegas was voted party of the year globally last year, it's going to be fun to see what EDC Chicago has to offer, looking forward to some bad ass evil sounding HOUSE music tonight..... ♥
But first I have to decide on what lashes to wear and my outfit, we got matching shirts.....


It turned out to be a beautiful day, I woke up a while ago after a long sleep. Busy day ahead, getting ready for EDC. I started with painting my nails in an appropriate EDC yellow. Now I have to wash my hair and then Angelica will have to take me somewhere so I can get a latte. Feeling happy and excited!

Pierogis in Chicago

I landed in a cold, rainy and windy Chicago. Same weather as in Alaska. The day started out with some phone problems so my old phone is retired now and after some minor issues, I now have a Samsung Galaxy. I went to eat Polish food and stuffed myself full with three kinds of pierogis, sauerkraut, potatoes and apple pancakes and cheese blinies for dessert.
So yummy, tasted like home.

I am out and about now, the sun came out and is shining. Tomorrow......EDC!

Lindsay's Adderall

According to the gossip Lindsay Lohan is very upset because the Betty Ford Center where she is doing her rehab decided to take away her Adderall, saying that she doesn't need it. Lindsay on the other hand is very adamant that she does need her Adderall to "focus". I guess Adderall is a very popular pill to pop in LA and other places too because it can keep you from gaining weight, it's an amphetamine after all. I know people that have an Adderall prescription and they are for sure NOT focused whatsoever. I don't take any drugs and can get more done in a few days than they do in a whole year, so to me the whole focus thing is a mystery. I don't even understand why anyone would want to take Adderall on an everyday basis, or even better, feed it to your kid. I am not a doctor (obviously) so I can't shell out a diagnosis but I am also aware of that there are many out there on Adderall. Do they all have some form of ADHD and/or do they all have a problem with focusing, whatever THAT means? Or are (some) doctors just handing out prescriptions left and right to pretty much anyone asking because there is a profit involved?
I can't even imagine being on Adderall. I would be so spazzed out and I can guarantee you that I would get all kinds of shit done, so much so that I would come to your house and get your life in military order too. I know that many take that stuff to control their weight, that is not a secret. I have never been on a diet. Well, ok I was on the Atkins diet for about a day once, it was totally disgusting and so not for me, I ended up vomiting and could not bear the thought to eat all kinds of meat and restrict my fruit and veggies. I'd rater eat only fruit and veggies and no meat. I also took some sort of diet pill once or twice, I got a bottle of diet pills (cant remember which kind it was so long ago) and they made me feel very uncomfortable and jittery, not a good feeling at all so I decided not to take them.
I tried speed once in Vegas, one night I went out with my friends, they all did it so I tried some, snorted it and felt great. Lots of energy but I always have lots of happy jumpy energy when I go clubbing. It was when we all got home and I still felt that energy but then it didn't feel good anymore, I felt nervous and edgy, I wanted to sleep but couldn't. And that was my first and last time doing that stuff, don't think I will ever try it again. I'd rather have fun on other drugs.......
As far as eating, I used to be very skinny when I lived in Sweden, I remember my waist was about 60 - 61 centimeters (24"), the reason I remember this is because I had seen a famous super models measurements mentioned in some article and I had the same. Now I am around 27".......more if I eat a lot but usually by morning I am back to 27.
I am no longer super skinny but whatever. I have about a 5 lbs weight range that I fluctuate between and I am not going to lie, I like my body better when I am on the lighter side of those 5 lbs. Because I think I look better at work then from a purely aesthetic viewpoint. But at the same time I don't diet, I don't have the willpower to diet, I like food way too much and I especially like foods that satisfy my sweet cravings - vanilla latte, pastries, ice cream. Once in a while I entertain the thought of doing a weekly 24 hour fast or some kind of a cleanse that lasts for days to "clean myself out". The idea sounds very appealing to me but in reality I know that I wouldn't last more than 24 hours probably.
I don't believe that Lindsay is taking her Adderall to focus, cause she is not getting anything done it seems besides drink and party. I think she is taking the Adderall to control her weight but people that do that rarely admit to it, instead they say that whatever prescriptions they are taking are prescribed to them by an all knowing doctor and that they do indeed need those pills.
I am planning on eating lots of Polish food in Chicago and enjoying every bite of it. If I gain weight then I gain weight, it will come off......or not.

On a different note.......I am in Minneapolis waiting for my connecting flight. Minneapolis looks beautiful from the air coming down. Large lush trees, green lawns and lots of small lakes. I think I would like it here.......


I am at the airport waiting for my flight. Destination Chicago. This will be my first time visiting Chicago. I miss Chhaya already, I don't like being away from her, I am having major separation anxiety. :-(
I don't like traveling at all, unless it is a road trip by car. That's fun. Flying is not fun.
But I am geared up for the flight, magazines and a new book that looks promising, Maya's Notebook by Isabel Allende. Then I am going to sleep, I always get a window seat so I can lean against the wall, I wrap myself up in a large cashmere scarf and nod off. I can sleep everywhere, even inside a speaker with loud and heavy bass at a rave if I have to.
I know I have lots of fans in Chicago......therefore I am going to take some time out of my busy schedule and do a meet and greet at Barbara's Bookstore at the Sear's Tower this coming Monday at 2 pm. Autographs and pictures. See you there! Bring me $$$ I need to go shopping. ;-) :-D
It's almost time to board. Got to go.


I just got home and peeled off my fake lashes and washed off my make up. I usually reuse the same pair of lashes for up to three weeks, no need for a new pair every night. Speaking of lashes, I need to stack up on more, my fake lash supply is running low.
I liked the double ones I had a while back, I need to get some more of those. They are called Ardell Double Up lashes in case you need some too.
Well, I am going to sleep, I am tired and I need to get up early. I have a busy day tomorrow.

Pedicure & Pizza

I had a pedicure yesterday, at a place in Kenai called Nail Boutique, my first time there. It was better than the place in Soldotna that I went to like twice. The first time I went there some lazy girl did my pedicure, she was so lethargic, moved slooooow and looked totally uninterested and did a bad job. The second time I went there I asked for her brother, he did a better job but not good enough for me to stay. So I decided on trying Nail Boutique. I am picky with my pedicures. I want a good job on the cuticles, square cut toes and a good foot massage, at least two coats of polish and a topcoat. I always bring my own polish. The lady today did an ok job. The massage kind of sucked, it is hard to find somebody that does a good job on that part. When they do I am sold! And she kept on answering the phone, taking appointments. I hate that. It is disruptive and rude. I always tip $ 10 on a pedicure, more if they do a great job. I still have to find a place around here that does a great job instead of a halfway decent one.

I had some pizza the other day, Margherita. I love pizza, it's like the prefect food, simple yet delicious. In a few days I am going to see what the pizza in Chicago is all about. I am going to stuff myself with pizza and Polish food. Then dance it off at EDC.

Funny thing happened at work tonight. Some guy recognized me from Whispers in Williston. He had only been to two clubs in his whole life, last year at Whispers and here tonight. And I was there both times and he recognized me (of course). It's a small world. Both clubs in Williston (Heartbreakers and Whispers) recently lost their liquor licenses. Whispers for a shorter time than Heartbreakers. I have heard that there are too many girls in both clubs and that you have to keep a distance from the guys when you do dances and that the money has dried up significantly. This is just what I have heard, I don't know for sure. I still get e mails and comments on the blogs I wrote about the clubs from girls that want to know how they can get a job there. I don't know, I haven't been there since last year and I don't have any plans to go back at the moment. Sitting around at a small club with 20 + other girls with not enough guys does not sound appealing to me. I might as well stay where I am or go somewhere new.
It also snowed here the other night. The cold is sticking around. Today when I was walking Chhaya it was so windy and cold that I felt sorry for myself. Then I heard about the tornado in Oklahoma and all the people that lost their lives. I no longer felt sorry for myself. I felt really bad for the people in Oklahoma instead. How terrible. I can't even imagine going through something like that. One day you go about your normal life and the next your house is ripped apart by a tornado and you wonder if your loved ones are dead or alive. Crazy.

Night Time

It is the night between Sunday and Monday, 1 15 am to be specific. I am such a night person. I got up at 10 am today and the first thing I did was to take Chhaya outside and made a bed for myself on the patio and snoozed outside for a few hours. I needed more rest for some reason. Plus I really like to sleep outside when I can. When the afternoon rolled around I finally felt energized enough to start my day. I did such exciting things today as going to the dump with a bunch of trash, very glamorous! Got a latte, so luxurious! I always sprinkle cinnamon on my latte.

Got food, watched tv and started a late night cleaning endeavor. All my energy comes at night time. Now I am finally in bed. I have a new book to read. Paulo Coelho, Manuscript Found in Accra .
New week tomorrow or today to be correct since it is Monday. Some people get really excited over Mondays, like "Yeeeehaw, a new week is here and I am getting all kinds of stuff done". To me, the days don't matter.

Critical Thinking

When I drive to work I spend the time listening to Coast To Coast AM. Sometimes the show is so captivating that I wish I was home instead so I could listen to the whole thing instead of only the 20 minutes or so it takes to get to work. Last night they talked about Angelia Jolie's recent double mastectomy. She had both of her breasts removed because she supposedly did some testing and found out that she carries some gene that can possibly cause breast cancer. I have read that the chances of her developing breast cancer were calculated to be as high as 87%. That is a very high number.
What would you do? Would you have your breasts removed because there is a chance that you might get cancer or would you live your life and worry about removing your breasts or get treatment only after you find out that you did indeed get cancer and the removal would be necessary? I would probably go with the latter alternative. I have also heard that 1 in 2 men will develop some form of cancer during their lifetime and
1 in 3 women. Human kind faces a bleak future. Also, mammograms (utilizing a machine that scans the breasts to find possible lumps) emits bad radiation into your body. It is recommended for women to start getting regular mammograms at around age 40 or 50, depending on where you live. Also chemotherapy, a form of aggressive cancer treatment, it's number one side effect is cancer itself. So chemo fights cancer but it can also give you cancer. Does that make any sense? How does all of this tie into Angelina? Well, as a very well known actress and public figure with lots of recognition due to her stunning looks (I think she is crushingly gorgeous), much talked about relationship and children and also her global charity work, she choose to share her mastectomy ordeal with the public. Just because OR is there an underlying reason? How does her revelation stand against ObamaCare and the large corporations that make big money by people having cancer and getting various cancer treatments?
Is there a connection? Some people think that she underwent her mastectomy for some other reasons than just personal. And I think they made many interesting and valid points when I listened briefly to what was said on Coast To Coast AM last night while driving to work.
Can we find a cure in nature itself by living a healthy life and eating non processed clean food? I think so. I think that the cases of cancer would drop dramatically if people lived healthier. I know I eat crappy food sometimes. Probably more than I am aware of or want to admit to myself. Most foods in the grocery stores are genetically modified. That is why I LOVE Whole Foods, it is my FAVE store. Organic IS the way and should be the only kind of food sold to us. Why should we be fed poisonous and modified food? Where is the logic behind that? I limit my meat intake but I am not a vegan. I have that daily latte and I eat ice cream and yoghurt. I know that the majority of milk cows live horrible lives but I still consume the milk they produce. THANK YOU beautiful cows, somewhere inside of me my soul cries for those cows and all the other animals that suffer to feed us, clothe us, bathe us and make up our faces. I can never ever become as pure as an animal, that is how I feel. I am a consuming and destructive human, driven by my ego. The cows are getting fed grain, GMO grain. They are also fed animal by products, absolutely unnatural and it causes them to get sick. We eat their meat and drink the milk they produce. Of course we will get sick from eating sick cows.
Or chickens, or pigs. One of the diseases we get is cancer. There is not a huge profit for pharmaceutical companies if people could cure themselves from nature. It's all about money and greed. People are selling their souls. I think that nature holds the cure to all of our diseases but we live out of sync with nature. But then I can only imagine getting the dire news of cancer and having to choose between the chemo and the drugs, something most physicians will steer you towards, since it is all about profit or be brave and try to go the natural way and cure myself through food and exercise.
The best thing of course is to not get cancer in the first place. Even people that live a seemingly healthy life get cancer, because of our environment, there is poison everywhere. Food, cigarette smoke, GMO's, fluoride, cleaning products, carpeting, building materials, pollution, living a stressful life and the list goes on.......
Some people believe that we live in the time of Enlightenment. I do too, we will become aware more and more how much we have been lied to by the government. That is the enlightenment, the realization that we have been kept in the dark, poisoned and pushed down, turned against each other to divide us. Divide and conquer. Where is the REAL freedom in that? We are led to believe that we are free, to keep us calm, to control us. Because if you really think about it, we are not as free as we think we are.
There have even been talks of censoring the internet, some countries practice that.
I believe that humans can live to be well over a healthy and alert 100, instead we wilt up and die around 75 - 80, (life expectancy also depends on where you live). We end up getting sick with Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. Why is that? Does the government aka Big Brother prevent us from living and reaching our full capacity? I know that these issues are mind boggling and difficult to think about. It is easier to go through the McDonald's drive through (a very busy place here), turn on the tv and zone out. That is what we do, work, eat, sleep, pay taxes and zone out. Thinking and especially critical thinking is not encouraged. It can also be dangerous. But I do believe that we are awakening slowly and becoming more aware of what's going on.

I like places like Hippocrates Health Institute, look
Hippocrates, "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food."

Body Issues

Friday again, it feels like it was Friday just yesterday.......
I am going to write this, then run off to the gym for some cardio. I like how sweaty I get after 30 minutes on the elliptical. As you might know I read about ten other blogs besides writing my own. I read Swedish blogs, I like it, it is fun and interesting for the most part. That is why YOU read my blog right? Because I am so fun and interesting? ;-) I do not always agree with what those other bloggers write about or do, some of them are young and immature, some are kind of dumb. One girl is only 19 and I almost feel like her Mom when I read about her crazy antics and problems. And I do not expect or think that anyone that reads my blog should agree with everything I have to say and my opinions. I have opinions about pretty much everything and some of my opinions are kind of harsh, I know this. I can be judgmental but at least I am aware of it and have no problem with admitting to that. Sometimes my opinions and views on certain issues change depending on if I experience something in my life that affects this and sometimes I just change my mind about something, it's as simple as that.
Life is a constant change after all, kind of scary. Sometimes I just want things to be the way they are, it would feel much safer like that.
I noticed that in the Swedish blog world it is almost frowned upon if you write about going to the gym or put up a pic of yourself at the gym. God forbid if you put up a pic of yourself that shows a lot of skin and you happen to be on the skinny side. Then all the girls with "body issues" and insecurities chime in and talk about how difficult it is to see somebody that is skinnier than them and that it gives them anxiety and makes them feel bad about themselves. I don't get that. Some people are skinny. Some people are chunky. Some people are fat. Some people are fit. Whatever. I do not feel bad over the fact that I go to the gym or run and that I am skinny (I guess I would be considered by most to be "skinny"). Why should I feel bad or ashamed over that? So it would be better if I was 200 lbs and shared pics of myself in a sports bra at the gym or squeezed into my outfits at work? Because then fewer women would feel bad about themselves? Because if you are size large then you are large and proud? But if you are size skinnier then you should hide that not to step on the larger women's toes? Plus I don't think that being skinny automatically makes you good looking either. I like thicker girls, I think that's sexy. There are plenty of girls out there that are skinnier, prettier, fitter, have nicer boobs, a perkier butt etc etc than me. And I don't care. I am me. I like myself the way I am, for the most part. I have my bad days and I have days when I think that I am super amazing (most days, ha ha!). Plus it is not all about appearance anyways. DUH! I like going to the gym. Not always but I like how I feel afterwards. I like going for a run, getting sweaty and breathing in the fresh air deep into my lungs. I don't understand why some people are so sensitive? When there are more serious issues to get upset over. Like animal abuse.
Yes, there are times when other people's appearance bother me. Like when women work out at the gym in shorts that barely cover their ass. Or guys with shorts that barely cover their balls. Kind of gross. There is a time and place for certain things.
I don't go grocery shopping in my bra and panty set that I wear at work. What would that accomplish exactly? I don't need that kind of attention because I am not insecure.
Well.....I need to get going. I know I said yesterday that I was going to give my amazing readers (YOU) a Hustler style pic of myself. LOL. I don't even have pics like that of myself, not really my style. Even at work I keep it rather "classy", as classy as you can get in a strip club. You would know the difference if you visited a club and observed the girls for a while. Some are not so classy. We are all different.
But I have this pic. This is what I look like when I wake up. Not. ;-)

Photographer KANE