Welcome to Chaos !!

When I was little my Mom would give me books to read because reading was one of my favorite things to do. It still is. In a lot of the books, she would write down a quote by a Polish author, Kornel Makuszynski. This was the quote,
"Madrym byc, to wielka sztuka, ale grzecnym - jeszcze wieksza!" That has stuck with me since childhood. I think of it often.
It basically means, it's a great thing to be smart, but to be kind is even greater. I grew up admiring people like Mother Teresa and others that would practice kindness.
I am not saying that I am the nicest person out there, what I am saying is that people that do good, impress me. And I try to do my part.
People say that there are givers and takers in this world. I have always been a giver, not always the best thing to be but I can't help it. Doing something for others, walking that extra mile, gives me some kind of personal satisfaction I guess. What I have learned is that many people do not give back.
Even people that I used to consider friends and gave freely to, of my time and things would turn out to be unworthy of the attention in the end.
But that's ok, that's life. Many ups and downs.
It's still disappointing of course when you have a friend that you care about and you show them appreciation and you get back nothing or even worse, some sort of betrayal. But you have to give anyways, because it is the right thing to do, at least for me.
And then sometimes you come across complete strangers that help you out in situations when you least expect it. Life is full of wonderful surprises like that.
I love when people practice random acts of kindness, it gives one hope in humanity.
Somehow, someway, we are all connected, I've had glimpses of that realization a few times. It might seem impossible that we are all connected, but we are.
It's not always easy to remember this, I forget it all the time. But still........
♥

By the way if you want some inspiration to practice some kindness yourself, I came across this

Tatiana is a little surprised, she won the Olivia giclee "Taboo". It was an eBay bid and Tatiana put in a rather low bid, half of want the seller wanted for the giclee, kind of just to see what would happen. She did not at all expect to win but she did. Wow! Great, another OLVIA to hang on the wall.
With all these naked women on Tatiana's walls, all she needs to do now is cut her hair really short, let her grays grow out, get some cats and invest in some Birkenstocks and become the angry lesbian that is fighting to emerge.
LOL.
The truth is, Tatiana loves her long locks, her mean looking pitbull, everything girly - the girlier the better, pink and purple, butterflies and mermaids.... the list goes on.

Tatiana loves and kind of collects art by OLIVIA.
She got her first couple of Olivia's in 1999, if she remembers it correctly. "Starfish" and "Fallen Angel", both absolutely beautiful!
Well, those two got STOLEN in 2005. Since then Tatiana got two new ones, one of them as a gift, thank you SO very much!
And after that she got herself a couple of more Olivia's, "Mermaid II" (2). And "Showgirl".
Tatiana is still on the hunt for Mermaid I.
Now she is tempted to get this one, "Taboo". Pretty, huh? All of Tatiana's Olivia's are giclees. There might be like one or two more Olivia's that Tatiana likes but that's about it after that.

Here are Tatiana's eyes decorated with the fake eye lash strip that she now can't live without!
Well, at least for work. She feels naked without them now.
Besides that, everything else is Tatiana's own and real. No hair extensions. Hair color is light brownish golden. Though many people here in the US seem to think that Tatiana is blonde. But in Sweden and many other places in Europe, Tatiana would not be considered blonde.
Eyes are brown. No colored contacts. Tatiana tried those a few times and she was not happy with the result. It looked weird.
All original body parts. They all work well and look pretty good too, so no need to tweak anything.
Who knows, the future might hold a hip replacement due to work related injuries or all the dancing at raves.

Just got home from work, it's still early, I can't sleep yet. Scarfed down a bowl of pasta and two extra large pickles.
It was slow at work but I still made some money. Enough to fill up my car with gas and some left over. Something is better than nothing.
So, when I went to the vet with Chhaya the other day, they printed out some info about spaying cats for me. I also added some additional reasons to why you would want to spay/neuter your cat. It prevents ovarian cancer. There is a chance that the kittens you throw/give away will meet a gruesome fate.
Anyhow. That woman with the cat that just had another litter was at work.
Supposedly she had told another girl that she does NOT CARE if the kittens become snake food. I wanted to slap her in her dumb, constantly gum chewing face for a second.
Well, it's decided that the cat is going to the vet on Tuesday to get spayed. Me and and two other girls will split the bill.
The woman that owns this cat "can't afford it". She can afford gum and cigarettes though. I am grossed out by her. At least the cat will cease being a breeding machine.
What's wrong with some people?
And now after I vented about that I can go and take a shower.

The first entry in this absolutely fantastic blog about Tatiana's adventures that you all NEED to read every day was posted in July 2006.
Now Tatiana is coming up on 800 entries, soon.
How can Tatiana keep track of everything she writes about? She can't. The only way is to write how it is, then you don't have to do double checks and worry that you contradict yourself.
Sometimes Tatiana wonders if she put up a picture twice but oh well.......there are worse things than a pic of Tatiana twice. Or Chhaya.
Maybe she should quit after entry 1000? Would anyone miss Tatiana out there in cyberspace? Tatiana knows she has readers but not too many of them seem to be willing or gutsy enough to leave comments. Weird. Are they lazy? Indifferent? Scared that somebody will know who they are (anonymity is an option)? Or maybe they pretend that they don't read about Tatiana's adventures? Tatiana suspects all those reasons.
But see, Tatiana knows that people read, she has info that tell her so.
Before this blog Tatiana had another "blog" or online diary that she started in 2002. She had it up for a few years and then her brother Robert erased like half of it by mistake when he was doing some work on it. Robert helped Tatiana set up that first blog. So Tatiana let go of it and a few years later this one was created.
YOU NEED !!!


Smiley Face

Halloween is Tatiana's favorite time of the year. The decorations, haunted houses, ghosts and ghouls, the costumes and of course MONSTER MASSIVE !
Monster Massive is a rave that Tatiana has been going to for years. You can search the blog for old entries about it. It's the best. House Music flows through Tatiana's veins. Dancing the night away is the best feeling ever. Tatiana is a raveaholic and a danceaholic. One year Tatiana had on a mask that is like the coolest ever and kind of freaky looking.
People loved it. It was great.

Another year she went as Lara Croft. That year she was Lara Croft at Monster Massive (in LA) and at the Bush Company (in Anchorage). We had to wear costumes that year to be able to work. Kind of lame considering that the girls have to pay for the "privilege" to work at The Bush, usually more than $100/night. Not so good if you have to schlep around all night in some costume you might not be comfortable in, or even worse not make any money in. Tatiana didn't have that problem.
Tatiana's Lara Croft varied slightly both nights. At Moster Massive she wore black shiny leggings. At The Bush black panties and black leg warmers and different shoes of course. No stripper shoes at raves. Also the lovely officers from LAPD would not let Tatiana in to the party with her BB guns in her holster, the guns were according to them "too real". So Tatiana had to leave the BB guns in the car. Whatever! Both nights Tatiana heard that she looked JUST like Lara Croft.
Well, Lara, personified by Angelina Jolie is like the hottest woman existing. Tatiana does not think that she evens come close but those were nice compliments.
Actually, if Universal Pictures can't find somebody to portray Lara for future films........Tatiana would LOVE to strap on Lara's guns, braid her hair and kick some ass. The only other person that can play the part (besides Angelina and Tatiana) is Zoey Saldana - she is bad ass.



One year Tatiana went as Pippi Longstocking. Other years KAWAII in cute comfy pajama pants, tank top and lots of Hello Kitty accessories. The most important thing is that your outfit allows you to dance.
Who would Tatiana like to go with this year beside one of her fab friends? Ellen or Rihanna, cause they would probably be able to keep up with dancing all night long.

Back from the vet with my baby. She is the best, such a well behaved girl. Imagine if a stranger you never met before would jam a finger up your butt and squeeze it from your insides! You wouldn't be to happy huh? Or.....maybe you would......hmmmmm.......
Chhaya was very good the whole time. And the vet even commented on the bond me and Chhaya have, she saw it.

Having a pet is like having a child. It means you should only have a pet if you can care for it properly. The same goes for children. This is something many people have a hard time understanding for some reason. Why Tatiana does not know. One of lifes many mysteries.
When Tatiana takes Chhaya to the vet tomorrow for some anal sac extractions, she is going to ask the vet if they can give hers some pamphlets on spaying and neutering.
Btw, Tatiana tried to do the extractions on Chhaya herself, but she gave up after the second try, it's kind of scary if you are not sure how to do it right, you don't want to hurt anything in there......
So why the pamphlets? Well, there are a few girls at work, more like one girl and one woman, because this person is way pass the age where she can be mistaken for a girl. These two have female cats that keep on getting litters and then they are begging random people to take the kittens.
Tatiana thinks this is very irresponsible. The woman sat outside the local grocery store this summer, with a litter of kittens in a box, trying to give them away to passersby. Just another example of that age and wisdom sometimes don't go hand in hand.........
Like, no screening of the possible new owners first. These kittens can end up being abused, snake food etc. Hello!? Don't you care?
It was that cats third litter that Tatiana is aware of, maybe there have been more litters. And now this cat just had another litter and the woman is trying to get rid of the kittens again. Awful.
Have you heard of crush videos?
"Crush videos, also known as squish or trampling videos, cater to fetishists who gain sexual gratification from watching women torture and kill small animals by stepping on them.
Typically, those crushing will use their buttocks or feet, making this fetish popular amongst many foot fetishists, as crushing by feet is usually the main focus. The foot (barefoot or in shoes) is thus often idolized by someone with a crush fetish."
Yeah, absolutely DISGUSTING . Of course there is a law aginst these types of videos but they are still being made and circulated.
And sometimes those cute kittens or puppies that people give away to random people end up being tortured and killed in videos like these.
Just another reason to spay or neuter your pets.
Supposedly this woman at work thinks the spay is too expensive. But somehow she can afford to smoke cigarettes. Weird.
Tatiana would starve first if Chhaya needed food or anything. Chhaya depends on Tatiana for food and shelter. When you make the choice to bring an animal into your life you need to make sure that animal is taken care of.
Chhaya is not going to have puppies. Even though she would probably be a really good Mommy. Because if even one of those puppies would end up being mistreated Tatiana would be miserable.
Maybe by giving a pamphlet about spaying and telling this woman about crush videos will make her realize that she needs to spay her cat.
Tatiana can only hope.

Tatiana is finally taking a night off. She worked Tuesday - Sunday last week and felt exhausted like every day because of it.
Tonight is going to consist of tv, magazines, cleaning and organizing. A night off from WORK does not mean time off from life. Chhaya still needs her long walk and her dinner. There is cleaning to do etc. How do people with full time jobs AND a kid or two make it work? Tatiana does not know how they do it. Especially single parents.
Tomorrow Chhaya needs to go to the vet and have her anal sacs extracted. She had her ears cleaned, teeth brushed and nails clipped today.
Here are some pics from last night, Tatiana could not decide which one to put up, so it's just going to be both, though they are similar.
And Chhaya of course.
Ok, life is demanding some of Tatiana's time now. More writing another time.

Tatiana is sooooo tired, got off work a little after 2. For some reason she is just extra sleepy tonight.
Chhaya needs to go out for a quick pee pee, then Tatiana is taking a hot shower, washing off her mascara and crawling into bed with Chhaya. How nice and cuddly! Sleeping until at least 11 am.
That's it, Tatiana is too tired to think or type. Good Night!

That's right. Deal with it.
Besides that, Tatiana likes this song and video, you will too!

Tatiana just stuffed herself with foooooood, so she is just laying around in sweats and a t shirt feeling lazy. Kind of like an Anaconda that just swallowed some large prey.
Soon it's time to go outside with Chhaya. As usual. Then work. Tatiana is going to try to work the rest of this week. Feeling ambitious!
If Tatiana ever goes to New York City again she wants to end up in the Cash Cab. First of all, Ben Bailey is funny and cute, he looks like a Russian mobster. Tatiana has a crush on him. Also, there are times when Tatiana knows the answer to majority of the questions when she is watching that show. But of course, other times, she has no clue.
Anyhow. That's all for today.

Tatiana and Chhaya see moose, eagles, owls, squirrels, caribou on a regular basis here is Alaska. But today while Tatiana was out on her run she saw two lynx! She has seen lynx before, but they are hard to come by. Unfortunately she did not have a camera on her to take a pic of the lynx today.....hopefully she will she these two again. They were brown and had pointy ears and short tails.
But here is a young moose that was quite curious about Chhaya and vice versa, that was today too. So cute!



Well, it's dinner time. Strawberries and ice cream.

Well, Tatiana already got today's mandatory latte. Ate some other food.
Soon it is time to take Chhaya for a long walk, it was way too windy yesterday to venture out on a walk. Maybe a run today too?
Then later in the evening, probably work. Tatiana usually leaves for work around 9 pm and gets out of there between 2 30 and 4 30 am.

Hmmmm, what else? Tatiana contacted a club in another state for possible work in November. She had to send some photos first. The response? She can come whenever she wants, just let them know. Tatiana has heard about this club from other girls, it is supposedly nice and a good place to work. They only hire so many girls at a time, you have to book your spot in advance, if you get accepted to work there. Tatiana is trying to convince her friend Sarah to go with her.
Sarah has never stripped before so Tatiana is like the corruptive evil force here. mwaahaahaahahaaa!
Here is an excerpt of Sarah's thoughts on the subject

"Another future gig I’m pondering: my friend and fellow blogger Tatiana, from the Fargo Sisters (fargosisters.com), invited me to join her this winter on one of her kooky stripping expeditions to North Dakota or Alaska or some other remote part of the frozen tundra. This chick has a great business model: she heads out to the sticks, to some little town near a big mining operation or fishing town or someplace where there are a lot of men with a lot of money but no women… and then dances in the local titty bar for a few weeks or months at a time, until she gets bored or the well dries up. FUN! I’ve long thought about becoming a stripper, but I just don’t seem to have the guts to try it. YET! Who knows what the future holds? Wonderhussy in Winter — why not in Minot? What do you think?? Yea or Nay?"

You can read Sarah's blog here

Tatiana won't disclose the name of the club here yet, since she has not made up her mind whether she is going or not. If she does end up going, you will get a full report with all the sordid details here.

But Chhaya wants to go and chase some squirrels now.