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Strip Club Etiquette

So you are going to visit a strip club? Nice! You want to have a good time?! Of course!
Unfortunately there are people that are totally oblivious to what is going on in a strip club. Don't worry, we are here to help you. Read and remember!
Julia and Tatiana go to strip clubs on occasion, it it always nice to watch some pretty girls. Here's a guide to make your experience a better one.

If you sit at the stage, TIP! Even if you don't fancy the girl on the stage. You are sitting there, she is dancing, this is not a free show, you are not at home watching HBO.
Give at least one dollar per song, no coins, casino chips are accepted if you are in Las Vegas, Rolexes and other valuable items are always good. If you don't want to tip, remove yourself from the stage, someone else might want your spot.
Don't put bills in your mouth and get cranky if the girl won't take them from you with her mouth. This was popular in the 80's. Tatiana would never take money in her mouth, it is cheesy, tacky and unsanitary. But some girls still do this, so it's ok (NOT).
Don't slap a girl on the butt unless you want to get slapped -hard.
Don't pull on a girls g-string unless you want to be escorted out the club by a bouncer.
If a girl approaches you and asks for a lap dance and you just KNOW that you won't get one from her, say "no thank you" off the bat or say that you are waiting for another girl. It is very annoying if a guy wants a girl to sit on his lap while he tries to touch her all over knowing that he is not going to get a dance from her. What is up with that? That is rude, pervy and nasty and deserves a well placed palm in his face. SMACK!
Tatiana actually thinks it should be mandatory to either get $ 20 in stage tipping money or a voucher for minimum one lap dance upon entering the club. She is tired of people sitting there all night, sipping on one beer, gawking at the girls. The girls are working, some spent a lot of time getting ready - for YOU! Show them respect and appreciation. If you are adamant about not getting a lap dance, at least tip some of the girls on stage or stay at home. This is not your neighborhood bar.
If you bring female company make sure they are ok with seeing women in different stages of undress. Make sure they can handle other girls talking to you, or them. If they drop rude remarks or act bitchy - trust this - Tatiana or some other girl can be very bitchy back.
Make sure you are covered when it is time to pay for your entertainment. Find out how much dances and etc. costs upfront if you are not sure.
Do not ask me to flash you my VAGINE, do not try to touch my boobs. This is not going to happen. ICH DON'T THINK SO!!!
If I am in a cranky mood I might practice my Krav Maga skills on you. If I would be doing these things I would be working in a brothel or as a high class escort - but I am not. We are talking about a topless club here. This is entertainment only. I am not interested in getting some kind of STD or to feel traumatized. Ok?
The vast majority of people we meet are really nice and fun to be around. We want you to have a good time and come back for more.
Because YOU NEED!

Tatiana conquers Mount Charleston

Outside Las Vegas there is a nice mountainous area called Mount Charleston.
Tatiana frequents there for hiking, cooling off in the summer, skiing in the winter.
She decided a while back that she would hike to the summit of Mount Charleston which peaks at 11 918 feet. She and Chhaya (her dog) woke up at dawn and drove to their destination, they started the hike around 7 am. They took the South Loop up. It took a long time before Tatiana set her eyes on the top of the mountain. The last 30 minutes seemed to take forever, Tatiana was so tired by now, she was letting out loud disturbing moans occasionally that expressed her frustration. But there was no way she was giving up. Chhaya loved every minute of this adventure.
The scenery along the way was beautiful. When they finally reached the summit Tatiana felt elated. She and Chhaya drank water and ate granola. Then Tatiana signed her name in the logbook available for the brave few that make the scramble. She signed her and Chhaya's names and wrote a few messages about love, peace and the planet, then she plastered some Hello Kitty stickers on the box containing the logbook. Everybody needs Hello Kitty!
After resting for about one hour Tatiana decided they would take the North Loop down which ended up being a rather bad choice. Though very scenic it was rather challenging and longer than the South Loop. Tatiana got exhausted and almost delirious on the way down. She was praying for this ordeal to be over but it seemed to be going on forever. The last two hours were just painful and Tatiana angrily promised herself that she would never climb any goddamn mountains again. Though Mount Charleston isn't her first one, she has also been on top of Mount San Gorgonio in California, 11 499 feet!
Finally they reached the car, the whole ordeal took about 12 hours. Tatiana almost cried. She was so tired! She couldn't wait to go home to her bed!


Confused? Angry? Sad? No luck with the ladies?
Don't worry, WE can sort you out!
Julia and Tatiana can help you solve many of your problems.
They can go shopping with you and help you pick out a new successful look. They can organize your life so you can function better. They can guide you through the confusing process of dating. They can lend a helping ear when you have a problem. They can clean your place. The possibilities are endless......
To acquire Julia's and Tatiana's great wisdom, just send them an e mail with a brief description of the situation and they will get back to you.