Welcome to Chaos !!

Supposedly tonight is a very special night, it's rare that there's a full moon on New Years Eve, that's why they say "once in a blue moon".
And besides that it IS a very special night indeed..........it's Together As One night, party time in LA!
Tatiana is super happy to be in LA and to be going out dancing all night long. With all the other lovers of Hello Kitty and House music freaks. Yeay!!!
Happy New Year to all!
Let's make the best out of it..............!
XOXO
Here's a pic of the New Years full moon.

Arrived safe.
Sunny skies and warmish, not too warm, it is December after all.
Time to get a breakfast burrito from Robertos. Tatiana is starving!

Right now Tatiana is at Ted Stevens (the airport in Anchorage) waiting to board a plane to Las Vegas.
She is going to Vegas to get a pair of double D's and a butt implant and some other nip and tucks. So when she gets back to Anchorage in a month or so........you might not recognize her at first! It's going to be a whole new Tatiana! She is excited, a new chapter is starting in her life. The Barbie chapter.
Seriously though.......no double D's, for now anyways........Tatiana needs to go to Vegas to take care of things. It will also be a nice break from Alaska for a while. AND Together As One for New Years in LA, of course. Tatiana missed out last year but not this one.
Chhaya is going too......this will be her first time flying.
The last couple of days have been very hectic, tons of things to do. Tatiana is looking forward to relaxing a bit. She already made plans to go shopping with Julia, while sipping on some iced vanilla lattes.
So next time you hear from your favorite girl Tatiana, she will be in Vegas.

It's almost 2 am Christmas Day here in Anchorage, Alaska. So Happy........Holidays, whatever and however you are celebrating........or not.
Tatiana has a tree, not a live one, some candles and a Swedish traditional angel chime. She ate lots, LOTS. Kind of disturbing how much, considering there are people that didn't eat at all today.
Now she is going to slowly wrap up the night and go to sleep. Thoughts racing from family and friends, people close to her heart, to life in general, things that have to get done, that she is feeling fat after all of the food ingested today, happy to be alive but sad for many of the things that go on in the world, wanting to go to a warm beach soon, wanting to do this or that, needing to do this or that. But for now, Tatiana is going to sleep. Tatiana thoroughly enjoys sleeping, soooooo nice!
So have a wonderful day and GOD JUL to all of you!
HUGS!

Tatiana saw "Avatar" tonight. She loved it!!! The story line is pro life, pro green as in save the planet and against war.
Tatiana wishes she had those sensors at the end of her hair too, she would intertwine herself with Chhaya. And Tatiana would rather live at the planet Pandora instead of this planet. She would much rather be connected to nature and the animals instead of spending time doing meaningless errands and writing checks for a mortgage that's not going anywhere good.
And the holy tree in the movie? Tatiana thinks those exist here among us, there are ways to get those memories and that wisdom for those of us in search of that, Iboga and Ayahuasca can be paths to that kind of information. Paths that Tatiana would like to explore and experience one day.
Go see Avatar! Or rent it when it comes out. But see it.

So a few days ago Tatiana lamented about how unusually lame it was at work all last week. Super lame ok?!
Well, then tonight (actually last night, it' early Tuesday morning now) Tatiana goes in to work, a Monday and it was fun and time flew by. Funny how one night can be so awful and the next great. It's not like Tatiana changes the way she looks drastically from one night to the next. It's pretty much the same look all the time, long hair and just Tatiana. Mean and bossy. You know, the usual.
What makes a night fun? When there are nice, interesting, cool people in there that happen to be there for the right reasons, the girls, not to sit glued to the same bottle of beer all night, looking like a deer caught in the headlights when getting approached by us.
If every night was like this last one Tatiana would gladly work 100 nights in a row. But then some nights are so mentally draining that Tatiana really needs a night off. Seriously, Tatiana feels like she has to deal with societies all crazies at times. With not enough compensation. By far.

.....while Tatiana was wrapping up the shopping, her friend Rose-Marie in Sweden called and asked if Tatiana heard the news. No, said Tatiana, no tv watching so far. Rose-Marie told her that Brittany Murphy died earlier today, to all of you that don't know who she was, she was an actress but she also sang on a supercool song, a collaboration with Paul Oakenfold, "Faster Kill Pussycat". Tatiana likes that song.
Brittany only made it to 32, she was a super cutie and super skinny (hmmmmm). It's kind of unusual to die that young, unless there is a pre existing condition or if you live in a poor, developing country where people don't live that long.
Tatianas verdict? Drugs. Or some kind of foul play. Hello, it's Hollywood. And all what that entails.
Tatiana thinks that drugs can be GREAT. She grew up thinking they were bad, so she stayed far away from them until she did her first E at Club Utopia in Vegas. It was great. And she does not regret any of the times she has done drugs. But it's more of an occasional thing. When it becomes part of every day life it becomes a problem. And in Tatianas opinion this includes prescription drugs too.
Tatiana rather be on E or shrooms once in a while than take some kind of a prescription pill every day.

So......here's Brittany, looking gorgeous.......

Tatiana worked Monday through Saturday this week, the whole week was awfully BAD. So to all of you that have the imaginary impression that dancers make "tons of money" - think again. Not only was the money bad, that was just one thing. But the club seemed to be populated by obnoxious, intoxicated, really annoying people the whole week. It was a bar crowd, unfortunately it's been a lot of that lately. It's really too bad because the people that do like strip clubs might get turned off by the young, immature, rowdy bar crowd. It is still a strip club, supposedly! But sometimes it's seems like it is a bar with girls walking around in revealing outfits. And there were way too many women in there, for the wrong reasons, to drink, stare and take up space (most of them have fat asses and horse faces). And no, Tatiana is not talking about the dancers now, regular women, why they go in there if they are not even the slightest bit into it, is just weird to Tatiana.
Tatiana thinks that the Bush Company should start charging a small entrance fee, like $ 5 or $ 10. That would probably eliminate some of the people that shouldn't be there in the first place. If all you want to do is get wasted, go to a bar, there are plenty of those in town. Tatiana is not at all interested in trying to talk to people that are so drunk they can hardly walk or put together three words into a sentence. Last night she got two drinks spilled on her, gross. There were drunk people in there last night that acted like they were mentally disturbed, severely so. Bleh.
Tatiana can't express enough how elated she is that she is not dealing with THAT tonight. Silence. Is golden. So very true.

So most of the Christmas shopping is done. With mixed emotions. Tatiana loves giving, but sometimes it is just too much, the pressure, the guilt, like the obligation to have to give. All the gifts to Sweden and Vegas are sent. All the Christmas cards.
And in a while Tatiana is going to go and deliver some toys for the "Toys For Tots" drive. This is probably the best part of the gift giving. Tatiana is very happy with the gifts she got this year for the kids, she hopes they will be happy when they get them. Tatiana doesn't necessary like to be around kids, especially whiny ones. BUT she feels that the least she can do for Christmas is to put a smile on some kids faces.
Ok, enjoy this Sunday.
Next week Tatiana is going to go and see "Avatar". Bye for now.

Womens rights?
Reports are coming out about the harassment of women in Muslim countries. In some places as many as 90 % of the women report that they get harassed when they are out in public. Even when they are wearing the head to toe ultimate cover up gear, the burqa. What is up with this? 90%? That is a staggering number.
Tatiana is SO happy that she is not living in one of those places. She would have to leave. It would be difficult to be a stripper in Yemen....... What she doesn't understand is the hypocrisy of this religion, Islam. Women are wearing different styles of the headgarb to a full cover sheet looking thing called burqa in the name of this religion. Women are supposed to be chaste and cover up, to not "tempt" the men. Seriously! WTF! Grow up you dumb men!
It's all a control issue. But even this is obviously not working since women are still getting picked on when they venture outside of the house, like to the grocery store. So more and more women don't want to go outside due to this. Women are essential to society, they are not meant to be locked up in the house. Yin and Yang, balance, there needs to be a balance between the feminine and the masculine for society to function.
For me and you, reading this, it is totally normal to see women work, drive, go out and have fun but in many many places this is unheard of. It's crazy.
Obviously the burqa isn't working. Actually Tatiana is totally against that practice. She applauds the French Presidents Sarkozys desicion to outlaw the wearing of the burqa in France for women in public. He does not think that belongs in French society. Tatiana agrees, and the people that don't like it, go back to where you came from. Equality between the sexes belongs in society, sure we have our differences women and men but our human value and right to speak and exist and move freely - those are the same for women and men.
It's like that woman that immigrated from Somalia to Holland. She wore the burqa in Somalia, she grew up hearing that if women did not wear it, men would "go crazy" and "lose all control" at the sight of an uncovered woman.
Then when she arrived in Holland she was first shocked to see the women wearing pants, dresses, skirts, whatever pleased them. And then she noticed something else too. The men did not act crazy around the women there, they were functioning perfectly fine. So she started questioning why she had to wear the burqa, she started questioning Islam. She freed herself. Bravo!
Ohhhh, this angers Tatiana, issues like these. She really feels for people not being able to live out their human rights.
Tatiana rather be a stripper, naked and free than a burqa wearing imprisoned woman.

In todays world we are bombarded with lots of images. Many of them portray women in various stages of undress. Then there are strip clubs all over. Las Vegas is over saturated with them. Hundreds of girls working in one club. You Porn and similar sites. So, what do you think about this. Good? No good? Ok? Indifferent?
Tatiana is somewhat disturbed and concerned with where the porn industry is going. It seems to be going towards faster, harder, more, dirtier, nastier, people are bored and want to see more, more, more. Young girls start porn at 18 and after a few movies, even one, they might be ready to be done due to over load. Most will not attain fame in the porn world, only a selected few get that, one of the new starlets is Sasha Grey, young, very pretty and surrounded by controversy. Sasha is very outspoken and seems to be intelligent, either she is or she is trying hard to come across as it. She does really hard core porn, extreme stuff, she calls herself a feminist and wants to be in charge of her career. She is 21 now but she has been doing porn for a while. She is portraying "Lolita" in a photo spread in Decembers Playboy. She has been cast in some films outside of porn, she is getting lots of attention.
Tatiana thinks that 18 is way too young to start in the porn industry. The age limit should be 23, then the girls have more life experience and can make a more educated decision whether or not to do porn. It's a decision that shouldn't be taken too lightly. People should have a choice to do whatever they want to do in life, but doing porn can have long lasting psychological effects in a person. Especially todays porn, which is FAR from romantic. At 23 there is less chance that a girl is succumbing to pressure from an outside source if to become a porn actress. She will hopefully have more confidence and be able to say NO if she is uncomfortable in a situation. 23 is still young and fresh looking enough for the "young looking girl" market.
Tatiana read somewhere that majority of the people that do porn movies either have or will get infected with herpes. Well, just by having regular sex exposes a person to a plethora of std's but still, in porn there's probably a higher chance of it. There's not much safe sex practiced, not in majority of the porn Tatiana has seen anyway. Do you think an 18 year old girl, new to a set of a porn movie is going to request condoms? Ask questions? Probably not.
Then there is the frequency of anal sex. Does anyone think of the possible consequences of too much anal or rough anal? Tatiana is not a doctor (she is a therapist) but it seems like it might lead to some complications down the line in that area if you overdo it. An 18 year old probably doesn't sit around and think of complications in the butt after the age of 40. For them 40 seems ancient.
Then there are the sex addicts, the ones that surf online porn for hours and miss out on valuable personal time, some ruin their relationships because of this. When is the line crossed? When does it become too much? Can porn be good too? When and how? It's an individual decision and it is surely beneficial for some. It can be fun, enjoyable, exciting and entertaining. But on whose expense? What happens to the girls acting in porn? What if some of them feel bad because of it? Who thinks of them?
Do we need porn in society? Do we need strip clubs? What functions does this fill? Wouldn't it be better to spend time doing something else than watch porn or hang out in the club? Tatiana doesn't think that she does anything pornographic, if you met her and know her you probably know that she doesn't carry herself in a "slutty" way. She totally believes that you can be a dancer and have much class and a strong integrity. Tatiana looks at it more as "artistic nude entertainment for adults". LOL. But still, what good does Tatiana do to society and herself by being a dancer? What good does porn do to us?
There are reports that young teen boys think that girls should act like the girls they see in porn. The same kind of sex. The same look. The kids are totally desensitized and are growing up with a wrong view of women and how to relate to them. In real life women don't walk around airbrushed. Or think that getting a facial is like the best thing ever, a porn facial that is. Tatiana loves facials too, at Anastasia Spa in Anchorage or Bliss Spa in New York. Hello!
If Sasha Grey is happy, by all means she should embrace her porn career and go for it. Actually Tatiana finds Sasha rather refreshing, she is a natural brunette, very pretty, she doesn't have that typical porn look, frosty blonde hair and huge implants. And she is very outspoken. But the porn she does is crazy. Tatiana wishes Sasha all the best in life. Really.
We all want to be happy and people are in search of happiness while medicating themselves more and more (some). It's sad.
Is Tatiana happy? For the most part yes. She is not unhappy at work, she doesn't like work when it's boring, Tatiana gets very impatient and annoyed when bored at work. Sometimes it is lots of fun. But if it wasn't for her mortgage she wouldn't be working as much, in the club at least. But since Tatiana is a slave to some bank and a bad loan she is dancing away.
Right now she is happy, Chhaya is snoring with her head buried in Tatianas lap. Today was a great day. Tomorrow is a new day. Tatiana is hoping for the best. For all. Yeah......just some thoughs from Tatiana this chilly Sunday night.

As soon as Tatiana heard about Tiger Woods "car accident" and that his wife bashed out one of the windows of the car with a golf club to "save" him, she thought something was fishy there. And indeed, soon after, an alleged affair surfaced and at this moment there are like three alleged affairs. And Tiger did admit to some transgressions, translation - he cheated.
Tatiana thinks that Tiger tried to save himself from his Swedish wife Elins fury and the golf club she was swinging at him.
So Tiger cheated...... In general Tatiana is definetly against cheating but every relationship has it's own story. People cheat, there are many different reasons for it. But if somebody is going to have many affairs over and over again and in the end hurt their spouse emotionally it is always better to get a divorce. Elin is probably NOT happy, Tatiana doesn't think this is an open relationship marriage, Elin is probably pissed off, as she should be. Here is a young, good looking woman, with two small children, finding out that her husband has been having some ongoing affairs. Pretty gross. Tatiana would had chased him down with a golf club too. Or a good old fashioned frying pan, or thrown some hard Swedish clogs at his head. It's not like they have been married that long and Elin is better looking than Tiger anyway. Elin is a beauty, she blows those alleged affair women out of the water by far. She should just walk away. He can't be trusted anymore. She doesn't need him, the only sad part is the kids but they will be fine in the end.
Would Tatiana have an affair with a married man? No. Never have, never will. (Just to be politically correct here, Tatiana should say that at least she hopes to never have a relationship with a married man). Tatiana has to be a guys number one and if he is married there are too many people involved in the relationship already. Plus, she would feel awful doing that to the wife. It would just be weird. If the guy is so unhappy in his marriage he can get a divorce and then he can do whatever he wants. Unless it is some kind of an open marriage and everybody involved is ok with it.
An acquaintance of Tatianas recently gave her some details about some married guy that cheated on his wife with a Vegas stripper (oh my!) and ended up taking the money saved up for his childrens college funds and embezzling his wifes money, just to give it all to the stripper. Well, this doesn't happen too often. First of all, it was HIS choice to go in to the strip club in the first place, Tatiana doubts that he was forced to go there. Maybe married guys should stay out of strip clubs if they can't control themselves? Or go with the wife and just make a fun date out of it. Tatiana meets lots of guys, and honestly she couldn't care less if they are married or not, that's not HER problem. If they want to tip on stage or get dances, that's their choice. Tatiana doesn't force herself upon the "poor" men that wander in to the club. She is not going to see them outside of the club anyway. If she would end up dating or befriending a guy outside of the club he wouldn't be married. Tatiana doesn't have time for crap like that. Or if just a friend, the wife would be aware of and ok with Tatiana.
By the way, guys cheat on their wifes with all kinds of women, strippers shouldn't be held responsible for all the bad things guys do to their wifes. But many women have tons of already made up opinions about strippers, we take our clothes off for money for crying out loud! That is just awful!
Tatiana doesn't have anything to be ashamed of, she doesn't have any problems with getting naked, she is not hurting anyone, so so what? We are all naked underneath our clothes. Besides, she looks good naked. The nakedness doesn't have anything to do with what kind of a person she is. And there is a time and a place to get naked, she is not going to get naked just anywhere. So all the "righteous" people out there should recognize this and think about what kind of a person they are before they open their mouths to talk about strippers.
Yeah Elin, Tatianas advice is dump the Tiger and get with a real man. Or woman.