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Last Roll

Today I got craving for beer. Perhaps the spirit of Cinco de Mayo influenced me and by the way I do not celebrate this holiday. It usually means barbecue and booze, which is not me. I'm more latte and book (or laptop). But once in a while I do enjoy a cold beer. A chilled glass with lime and salt on the rim and fresh squeezed lime in the beer. YUM! And I got some doughnuts that I have been wanting to try for a while.

What else? I saw this downtown on my walk the other day. Rent strike. So in Portland and I am sure other places in other states as well, if you can't pay your rent (due to the current state of emergency) you can inform your landlord of it and either not pay or pay as much as you can without getting evicted. This order took effect April 1 and is in effect for 90 days, unless extended or terminated. You would still owe the unpaid rent and it would have to get paid back at some point, so you basically would owe the rent. That can add up fast and become a real burden.
It has also been suggested that rents and mortgages should be forgiven during the ongoing state of emergency. A lot of people live paycheck to paycheck. And rents in Portland and suburbs are high. It is not cheap to live here. It is not cheap to live anywhere PERIOD unless you live for free or got some other arrangement going. So I get it that people are worried and upset.
Now a rent strike is something different. I think it is more of a refusal to pay and I am not sure if that includes a plan to pay back or not. I suspect the latter.

I have been studying. I didn't for a while because that is just how I am. I get consumed or distracted with other things so easily and I tend to procrastinate. Why I don't know. But I am back on track again. Right now I am repeating the law portion.
Here are a few recent notebooks. One my Mom gave me, that one and the light blue one I will use when I am done with my studies and transition (hopefully) to something else. Then I got a dream diary. I decided a while back that I was going to write down my dreams, I had a vivid dream which inspired me get the dream diary. Well, I don't even recall that dream, did not write it down of course and the dream diary is still empty. I tend to recall my dreams right after I wake up, once I am up and start moving around and my mind goes elsewhere and I tend to forget what I dreamt about. A few years ago I had two incidents while sleeping, I woke up screaming loudly in terror both times. I was going through a very difficult time then and it affected me a lot. I developed anxiety and I would average maybe four hours of sleep per night. No more anxiety or bad dreams and I am back to my normal sleeping pattern.

I am down to my last roll of toilet paper! What to do? Should I start scooting my butt on the carpet or should I jump in the shower after each bathroom visit? I will need to go out there into the craziness and enter stores on a toilet paper mission, fighting others for the available rolls.
I have not hoarded anything during all of this. Those people that hoarded stuff, I think it is good that they can't return it. You wanted all that toilet paper, hand sanitizers and whatever else you decided to stock up on then you should get stuck with it. Have fun with your stuff. As far as turning around and making a profit on selling overpriced bottles of hand sanitizers, face masks and whatever else aka price gouging. I think that is morally wrong but hey....isn't that a form of capitalism? And capitalism is good right? At least in America. Make profit! Most of us think it is wrong to price gouge during a crisis, I feel it is wrong to price gouge on necessary goods period. Crisis or not. What about the extreme price gouging on medical attention and medications? When you need medication or hospital care, that is a personal crisis (usually because most people don't seek medical attention unless they need it) and the prices of such services and goods are extreme. To charge people exorbitant prices for medications and health care including health insurance should be illegal and that is morally wrong. Unethical. Quite disgusting the greed that is out there. I am with Bernie Sanders 100%, FREE healthcare for ALL. I like Bernie a lot. And how is it going to get financed, people that don't like Bernie often say. I don't know, again I do not get paid to sit and think about and try to work out solutions for the people. Had I been a politician on a payroll I would had worked hard to try to improve a lot. But if other countries can do it so can the US. I try improve what I can, for no pay at all.

A Walk Through Portland

I decided to drive downtown the other day.....join me on a walk through Portland. Portland is a walking friendly town, although there are plenty of intense dudes on bikes to watch out for. I call them “Tour de France”, they seriously act like they are in a race. You can start on one side of the river and walk across one of the bridges to the other side, which I did. I started a bit after 7 and walked for about 1 1/2 hours. I love walking, looking at things and taking pictures along the way. Here are a few from the other evening....

And a pic of me....your amazingly skilled photographer, still using my Samsung S3 that I had for seven years this month now. Perhaps I should enter the Sony World Photography Awards or something similar? I surely have a strong chance at scoring a top prize, don't you think?

One of the things I entertain myself with when I sit up until 4 in the morning reading about all kinds of things online, in between coming up with blog entries, is to look at photography contests and the photos that are featured. There is some amazing photography out there, it is truly an art.

What Is New

Got back from a long walk by the river here in Portland not too long ago, check back tomorrow for some pictures.
This is what is new, well around here at least. Some stores made it mandatory to cover your face (mouth and nose). I'm OK with that. Now I can pretend that I am at Burning Man year round. Dust mask, bandana, something to cover my eyes - NO PROBLEM!

Score! Found Gevalia cappuccino for the price of $2.10. Five servings, so I can drink my morning coffee for less than 50 cents per cup!

Weird And Confusing

How are you doing in these weird and confusing times, do you feel a bit CONFUSED just like I do?
Well if you do feel like me and even if you don't, I suggest you watch this YouTube video that Wonderhussy recently released. She is feeling philosophical at Walker Lake which is located in Nevada. I driven past it several times when heading to Burning Man (and back). She went there searching for answers since the quarantine had left here feeling endorheic. Thanks Sarah for teaching me a new word! (Sarah is Wondehussy's "real" name).
I been watching Sarah's videos at night when I am up until 3 or 4 am reading, she makes for great company.

I have been having a difficult time getting up in the mornings, more like noon, which is morning for me. I just want to continue sleeping. Once I am up I am good.
So it is Wednesday today right? I had to think about it for a second, all days are the same. I have a few things on my to do list today and I will slowly start getting ready so I can head out and be productive.
But before I go, check out this sign that hangs in the entrance of some store in the Bronx. Now this is my kind of place....I like people that say it like it is. I can't stand beating around the bush fake bullshit.

In general I noticed that a lot of people have NO CLUE how to cough and sneeze in public, virus or no virus, I do not want anyones wet cough or sneeze on me or my stuff. I also saw a store employee sneeze next to the produce, in the direction of the produce. Blergh.
Also in these times when the public is encouraged to be extra careful do you really have to bring in the WHOLE family to the grocery store? Like Mom, Dad (or Dad of the month) and ALL the children? Can't just one person do the shopping with a list perhaps? I saw a toddler chewing on a piece of food in the store, saliva all over the hands and snot running out of the nose. This is what kids do but they should do it at home. Then the people that need to touch everything.....even if they are not going to buy it. Why?
And that was that, see you next time I check in here.....until then take care!

Beach Pics

Sunday afternoon here and I am sitting on the couch with the patio door open, it is nice outside. My favorite flowers are blooming - lilacs. It's like stepping into a cloud of perfume outside. I love the fragrance of lilacs. But not inside in a vase, I do not like cut flowers. I think it's mean and a waste to cut down flowers just to stuff them in a vase and watch them wilt.

I went to the coast this week, only for one night but it was nice. So naturally, here are a few beach pics.
This looked like a giant squid resting on the beach. One of my fascinations, giant squids that is.

The sun going down. Thank You sun for today!

It was Earth Day this week (April 22) and it's 50th anniversary this year. A reminder to everyone is to not litter. At least do that much (or little), pick up your trash.

Burning Man At Home

Somebody wrote down a list of how to recreate Burning Man at home, now that it's cancelled.
I had to share some of it, I am not taking credit for this, somebody else wrote it. And it is great!

Burning Man is cancelled this year. Here's how to play the home version.

-Tear down your house. Put it in a truck. Drive 10 hours in any direction. Put the house back together. Invite everyone you meet to come over and party. When they leave, follow them back to their homes, drink all their booze, and break things.

-Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.

-Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

-Only use the toilet in a house that is at least 3 blocks away. Drain all the water from the toilet. Only flush it every 3 days. Hide all the toilet paper.

-Set your house thermostat so it's 50 degrees for the first hour of sleep and 100 degrees the rest of the night.

-Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.

-Don't sleep for 5 days. Take a wide variety of hallucinogenic/emotion altering drugs. Pick a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

-Spend a whole year rummaging through thrift stores for the perfect, most outrageous costume.

-Shop at Wal-mart, Cost-Co, and Home Depot until your car and trailer are completely packed with stuff. Tell everyone that you're going to a "Leave-No-Trace" event. Empty your car into a dumpster.

-Spend 5 months planning a "theme camp" like it's the invasion of Normandy. Spend Monday-Wednesday building the camp. Spend Thurs-Sunday nowhere near camp because you're sick of it or can't find it.

-Walk around your neighborhood and knock on doors until someone offers you cocktails and dinner. Or acid.

-Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for 5 hours. Tell your boss you aren't coming to work this week but he should "gift" you a paycheck anyway. When he refuses, accuse him of not loving the "community".

-Search alleys until you find a couch so unbelievably tacky and nasty filthy that a state college frat house wouldn't want it. Take a nap on the couch and sleep like you are king of the world.

-Spend thousands of dollars and several months of your life building a deeply personal art work. Hide it in a fun house on the edge of the city. Hire people to come by and alternate saying "I love it" and "this sucks balls." Blow it up.

-Make a list of all the things you'll do different next year. Never look at it.

-Have a 3 a.m. soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating.

-Go to a museum. Find one of Salvador Dali's more disturbing, but beautiful paintings. Climb inside it.

Are you tempted to go yet? Some of the BEST times of my life have been at Black Rock City.
My fave on that list is the Salvador Dali painting reference, after my first Burn that is what I thought, that Burning Man is like stepping into a Dali if I had to describe the event to somebody that had never been. Dali also happens to be one of my favorite artists.
I bet there will be a lot of Burners doing something ceremonial in place of Burning Man this year. I might think of something to do. I wonder if people will gather at Baker Beach in San Francisco where Burning Man first happened in 1986?


It's almost 2 in the morning, I am sitting on the couch staring at my laptop and listening to the silence. Today was a MEH kind of day, I think maybe yesterday was too....I can't remember anymore. I had to force myself to do stuff today. Like force myself to brush my teeth, force myself to fold the laundry that has been hang drying for two days. I did go on a couple of looooong walks this week. I have a list of things that I should do. I mean I have all the time that I need to do them. But I feel like MEH. Right now at least, today.
In a bit I will force myself to brush my teeth again (better take care of the teeth, imagine getting tooth problems in the midst of this situation), wash my face and put on face cream. But first I will clean my couch up so it looks nice when I wake up and see it again in the morning. I decided that my task for this evening was to fix the couch and maybe write a blog entry. Looks like both tasks will get done so it's not too bad. I will also turn on the dish washer, I like hearing the hum of the dish washer when I lay in bed about to fall asleep. It is comforting.....
Been talking to friends here and in Sweden about COVID-19, the stay at home order and everything else. Perhaps I can come up with a blog about that before the week is over. It's already Thursday tomorrow (actually it already is), it feels like Monday was yesterday.....weird how time goes by sometimes. Well, I should probably go to bed. Goodnight.

My Eggies

Check out my eggies! Since it is Easter I decided to spruce up the eggs, which come from "happy" hens by the way. Meaning not from some chicken factory.
I want to believe that the hens are happy at least.
Some people were upset that they could not go to church today because crowds are not allowed to gather. But in some places the preachers did not care and crammed in a bunch of people into church anyways. Whatever.
I don't see this social distancing thing going that well in many places, like in some religious dwellings. Kids at skateparks spitting and blowing snot rockets, people going to underground bars because they just have to get drunk in a bar instead of at home (like the wife of a mayor in some town in Illinois), people meeting up with friends....stuff like that.
I don't go to church. Last time I did I had some words with the pastor. And realized that there were many hypocrites attending that church after my little conversation with him. I left with a weird feeling.
Also a friend of mine that is very religious and a very nice person overall went to his regular church a few years ago and the preacher started talking about the homosexual sin which made my friend upset and feel sad. I told him I would not set my foot in that church anymore if I were him. I also have a problem with mega churches that have those multi millionaire pastors. I have a difficult time justifying that wealth. After all, "And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” New King James Version. I think it is OK to be rich but I feel that it is your duty then to do good for others. Otherwise that wealth is wasted on nothing. I would feel awful if I was a very wealthy person that did not use that wealth to do better in this world. Multi millionaires have the luxury of doing a lot of good without risking becoming poor, unless of course they make a lot of poor choices along the way. And I feel it is wrong to force your religion onto others, that includes children at school. You should be able to choose your faith freely and willingly, not everybody is religious and that should not be a problem. If you really want to get into details, a lot of wrong and evil has transpired throughout the centuries by humans in the name of God.
You can have a relationship with God, Jesus, Mary or whatever you believe in at home and read your Bible at home. And if you go to church I think you should go there for the right reasons. Not just to show up to look righteous for an hour or two and then go home and continue to be an ass.
There is a very nice and spiritual place here in Portland called The Grotto where I have been a few times to feel a deeper spiritual feeling. And yes....I do pray. Not as often as I used to but it still happens. I consider myself spiritual.


It got announced today....."After much listening, discussion, and careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision not to build Black Rock City in 2020. Given the painful reality of COVID-19, one of the greatest global challenges of our lifetimes, we believe this is the right thing to do. Yes, we are heartbroken. We know you are too. In 2020 we need human connection and Immediacy more than ever. But public health and the well-being of our participants, staff, and neighbors in Nevada are our highest priorities." That was from
And I also got an email as a Burning Man volunteer (one of the many volunteers), "In the interest of public safety and after careful consideration, Burning Man Project has made the difficult decision not to build Black Rock City in 2020. As you all know from having contributed so much over the years, a gathering the size and complexity of Black Rock City requires our entire community to put in many months of planning and preparing. Coupled with enormous investments of money and energy, we don’t think it’s practical to continue waiting for the circumstances to change, nor do we think that would be fair to our community members, contracting partners, neighbors in Nevada and cooperating agencies who give so much of themselves to this event. We take great comfort in knowing that we are the people who will find the opportunity, hope, and potential in the face of this change. Let’s show the rest of the world how to burn."

This was a hard pill for me to swallow. I cried a bit. To me Burning Man (well Black Rock City to be exact) is not just some place to go and party. I could go to other parties and dance all night long or at least until 2 AM depending on when the club closes down. Burning Man is something that I can't put into words. I am sitting here looking at my five Burning Man boxes, filled with stuff for the event. Thinking about my bike, the soft Playa dust in between my toes, the wind that feels so good and the dust storms and being there in the middle of it all and just BEING. I will miss it SO much. My fear is that there will be no more Black Rock City....that this is it. But it can't be so. I have no control over this. There has to be a Burning Man 2021. I will be there. I am sad tonight.....


Let's look at a few pictures from Portland, where I live.....
I've been wanting a picture with this sign for a while, finally it happened!

The Willamette River flows through Portland.

There are many bridges connecting the city.

Keep Portland Weird - the unofficial motto of Portland, as well as the mantra of the city's residents.

Voodoo Doughnut. Not visible in this picture but the sign says, "Good Things Come In Pink Boxes" on one side and the other side says, "The Magic Is In The Hole".
Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

The one and only doughnut I got from Voodoo Doughnut (so far), this one is called Viscious Hibiscus.

Peace Pole. One side in English and the other in Swedish....although "vaere" is Norwegian so something is not adding up....

A tree in bloom, so pretty! I think this is a magnolia tree.

Coffee shop.

The Willamette Week. The headlines reflect the current situation.

I saw this in a window, thought it was cute.

Outside Providence Park, a sports and entertainment venue. The blurry text on top spells out, "Be Well Everybody We Will See You Soon".

And there you go, a glimpse of Portland!