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Burning Man At Home



Somebody wrote down a list of how to recreate Burning Man at home, now that it's cancelled.
I had to share some of it, I am not taking credit for this, somebody else wrote it. And it is great!

Burning Man is cancelled this year. Here's how to play the home version.

-Tear down your house. Put it in a truck. Drive 10 hours in any direction. Put the house back together. Invite everyone you meet to come over and party. When they leave, follow them back to their homes, drink all their booze, and break things.

-Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.

-Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

-Only use the toilet in a house that is at least 3 blocks away. Drain all the water from the toilet. Only flush it every 3 days. Hide all the toilet paper.

-Set your house thermostat so it's 50 degrees for the first hour of sleep and 100 degrees the rest of the night.

-Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.

-Don't sleep for 5 days. Take a wide variety of hallucinogenic/emotion altering drugs. Pick a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

-Spend a whole year rummaging through thrift stores for the perfect, most outrageous costume.

-Shop at Wal-mart, Cost-Co, and Home Depot until your car and trailer are completely packed with stuff. Tell everyone that you're going to a "Leave-No-Trace" event. Empty your car into a dumpster.

-Spend 5 months planning a "theme camp" like it's the invasion of Normandy. Spend Monday-Wednesday building the camp. Spend Thurs-Sunday nowhere near camp because you're sick of it or can't find it.

-Walk around your neighborhood and knock on doors until someone offers you cocktails and dinner. Or acid.

-Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for 5 hours. Tell your boss you aren't coming to work this week but he should "gift" you a paycheck anyway. When he refuses, accuse him of not loving the "community".

-Search alleys until you find a couch so unbelievably tacky and nasty filthy that a state college frat house wouldn't want it. Take a nap on the couch and sleep like you are king of the world.

-Spend thousands of dollars and several months of your life building a deeply personal art work. Hide it in a fun house on the edge of the city. Hire people to come by and alternate saying "I love it" and "this sucks balls." Blow it up.

-Make a list of all the things you'll do different next year. Never look at it.

-Have a 3 a.m. soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating.

-Go to a museum. Find one of Salvador Dali's more disturbing, but beautiful paintings. Climb inside it.

Are you tempted to go yet? Some of the BEST times of my life have been at Black Rock City.
My fave on that list is the Salvador Dali painting reference, after my first Burn that is what I thought, that Burning Man is like stepping into a Dali if I had to describe the event to somebody that had never been. Dali also happens to be one of my favorite artists.
I bet there will be a lot of Burners doing something ceremonial in place of Burning Man this year. I might think of something to do. I wonder if people will gather at Baker Beach in San Francisco where Burning Man first happened in 1986?

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