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Overwhelmed

The blog has been on the back burner for some time now. I have a LOT going on and it is a lot in many ways, more than I care for and I am to say the least - overwhelmed. I can't say when the blogging will be back to "normal" again.
Since I was on the East side of town yesterday and today, I stopped into Sunrise Coffee. They have 20 ounce size lattes there which I love and so many fun variations of their lattes and interesting flavors. But I am that super loyal person, so I stick with my vanilla latte.
I am too loyal for my own good, most people do not deserve that kind of loyalty.
And I am not talking about latte now as you might understand......



I visited my friend Shelley today that just gave birth to a healthy baby girl.
The baby was so small and so cute. I held her and wished deeply in my heart that her life will be happy and good.
I finally ate my dinner at around 9 30 PM, right now I am craving fruit. For dessert I had Tiramisu, I always want dessert.



And now it is bedtime for me. I might watch a half hour of Dom Kallar Oss Mods (They Call Us Misfits) a Swedish documentary from the late 60's that is mostly taking place in Stockholm. The film makers actually made two more documentaries about the same people, so it's a trilogy, the two that followed are Ett Anständigt Liv (1979) and Det Sociala Arvet (1993). I feel sad watching this, some very tragic stories but also touching about people, life and the struggle. When they show scenes from the Stockholm subway, T-Centralen and Plattan I can feel myself back there, the air of the subway approaching the platform, the smell of the subway, the calming back and forth motion of riding the subway.
I would often nap on it, I was a city child.
Had friends that found misery on Plattan. Some are gone now, didn't make it.
I remember the nights spent in City, balmy long summer nights and freezing cold winter winds that made me shiver. The high rises in the suburbs.
All of this makes me think of an amazing song by Monika Törnell that I LOVE, Vintersaga - it really encompasses the mood in those documentaries. I don't know.....I don't understand the pain and the struggle. Just WHY? Sometimes I really think that I'm not cut out for this life. And wasn't this a cheerful entry after a longer silence from me? Well.....this is my reality and my feelings now. Goodnight.

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Carla on :

Tatiana:
I am so sorry that you are not as cheerful and happy as you deserve to be. You can not control how others treat you. You have to believe in yourself and try to avoid those that try to make you sad.... I know that is easy to say but they can't make you sad or unhappy without you allowing it..... DON'T ALLOW them to have control of your feelings.

You already got your Sunrise Latte and your fruit (the strawberries and blueberries look so good) so that should help your mood today. Hmm, perhaps treat yourself to something special.... chocolate treats? pastries? (in moderation of course)... new shoes? new clothes?

Winter weather is still here, last week we had snow and this last week and today it is cold, lots and lots of rain and near freezing temperatures at night. I wonder if Mother Nature knows that Spring is suppose to start next Monday March 20th?

Last month I made some chocolate covered Almond Biscotti and put most of it in the freezer so I can always pull out several pieces to have with my coffee.. I wish you could have some, I know that I feel better when I eat it !!!! Chocolate is my comfort treat.
I hope that your day at the Cafe treats you well today.
Carla

Tatiana on :

I eat chocolate and sweets almost every day, that is just part of my diet and nothing that I treat myself to.
Eating stuff or buying new things, drinking/doing drugs or whatever.... have never been a way for me to feel better about a situation.
That is just not how I operate, everybody is different.
But sharing some of your yummy biscotti with you would be nice.
:-)

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