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After spending too long in bed today tossing and turning, thinking.....I finally got up.
Things are not going to change just because I'm feeling a bit sad and unmotivated.
If anything, not doing anything will only make it worse. I almost always feel bad if I completely waste a day without doing anything productive. So I'm back to my frequent routine, latte and muffin at Coffee Roasters, typing away on my laptop. I have some good news about caffeine by the way.....well, I never thought that caffeine was bad for you but some people think so. But here it is, "You’ll live longer having an espresso in the morning! Studies show people who have moderate caffeine consumption actually live longer, healthier lifestyles. Caffeine consumption can be very healthy and reduce the incidence of certain neurological disorders, increase alertness, and the rate of preferred body fat." This is according to some buff and fit guy called Harley Pasternak.

OK.....the news here in Alaska, gay people can legally get married now. The courthouse here in Kenai has performed a couple of same sex ceremonies already since the ban on same sex marriage was lifted recently. I am open minded, I don't care. Straight, gay - doesn't matter to me. I am only against pervy old men marrying young girls, like the whole Courtney Stodden disaster. Hi pedophile! I also think that a man married to several different women is strange and I have to wonder about the reasons behind that. Not my cup of tea. My thoughts on marriage......I'm not sure, I am for it and also against it. I think people give up too fast on their relationships when things get tough. And I'm not talking about giving up if you get subjected to some obvious deal breakers. But people replace each other quickly. But first they show off by going through a whole lavish wedding ceremony where they loudly declare their undying love for each other, exchange vows and yadda yadda yadda to everybody that cares to listen and even to people that don't want to hear about it.....only to divorce a few years later.
Yeah, whatever. What happened to the love and the vows?
It's the same when people post the most ridiculous declarations of love for each other on Facebook when in reality they have rather shitty relationships where they argue and beat each other several times a week. Everybody argues, well most couples will at some point but hey.....slapping each other around on a regular basis is not normal. Or is it? I have when angry at a boyfriend been violent also but NOT on a regular or weekly basis. In between the angry blowout fights I want and need a good, solid and peaceful relationship.
You want to know who I will love until the day I die without a doubt in my heart? Chhaya.
My Mother and my brother and the friends I have in Sweden that I grew up with. The people that really know me, the people that I can trust, the ones that are there for me no matter what and that I know have nothing untrue or bad to say about me. They only have good intentions towards me. Those are the ones I truly love. And then I have accumulated a handful of people here in the US that I also care very deeply for.
What is WAY MORE SERIOUS than getting married to somebody is the person you pick to have children with. You can always get a divorce if you are not happy with your spouse.
But you can never change who you choose to reproduce with. So pick wisely. I don't know what I would do if I had one or two kids with somebody only to separate later and then have to sit back and watch my ex subject my children to his future girlfriend/s. No way! I would be so worried that the girlfriend would be irresponsible/mean/not caring etc etc. There is a plethora of things that could go wrong. You can only hope that the person you separate from has enough common sense to make wise decisions, putting the children first. And I see plenty of examples showing the opposite.
Anyhow......Chhaya is waiting. We are going on a walk. It's cold here, I'm wearing long johns but there is no snow yet. That's a good thing.


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christina on :

So does this mean that you and your BF are not going to get married anymore? If you don't mind me asking. I remember you talking about your Bf at work. Did he cheat on you or you on him?

Tatiana on :

You remember me talking about my boyfriend at work?
Really now....? So, if you don't mind me asking.....who are you? Cause I don't work with any girls named "Christina", maybe you care to give me the name I know you by? You know, to refresh my memory......
I am getting married to Rihanna, now that gay marriage is legal and all. RiRi.....I would like a pink natural non-treated sapphire flanked by diamonds. Size and style we can talk about later.
XOXO Tati.

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