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You're Gay

A few days ago somebody sent me this through my contact page, "You're gay right?" I gay? Yes, I am a very happy person.....thank you for noticing! You know GAY means happy, RIGHT? ;-)
But I do understand that this person meant to ask if I am a lesbian. Actually, no. I am open minded and I love and appreciate beautiful women. I don't have any insecurity issues since I am quite happy with myself.....I'm GAY! LOL.
I especially appreciate Rihanna and Irina Shayk and the kind of girls that walk in the Victoria's Secret annual lingerie show or model in Sports Illustrated, I also adore Kate Moss and pretty models in general. My taste is quite sophisticated, I prefer exquisite beauty - face AND body to a large wobbly ass and some huge boobs. Everybody has different taste you know.
I am pleased to say that my gorgeous Rihanna is number 11 (my fave number on Maxim's Hot 100 list). I love her, not crazy about the tattoos but I love her music, her voice, her attitude and the way she looks - she is my number one. I get Sports Illustrated every year cause I'm so very gay. Irina Shayk had an amazing cover a few years ago. I like her. She seems smart, here is some stuff she said, "I never take the backseat. Maybe if you're lucky, you can have a front seat too". And, "I'm not a person who cares about people's opinions. Some people like you; some people hate you. You have to be strong." Yes, I agree with Irina.
Check out my gorgeous ladies......

A lot of times insecure men with a cave man style, narrow minded mentality feel threatened when a woman is independent and strong. There MUST be something WRONG with a woman like that they think. And they often think with that small head in between their legs.....not the brain on top of their shoulders. That woman must be GAY! Or maybe she needs a GOOD FUCKIN'!? She probably hasn't had DICK for a long time??
Trust me, I can survive and thrive without penis. Thank you. Even better is the annoying dudes that come up to me when I'm at work and confrontationally demand/say, "SMILE!". Excuse me now, I am sitting here minding my own business and I smile when I want to OK?
I can assure you, just because I don't sit with a fake smile plastered on my face 24/7 doesn't mean that I am angry, bitter, an angry lesbian or hate men. Now do YOU walk around with a constant large grin on your face? Maybe you do, so good for you but I don't and last time I checked I was completely sane too. Plus what makes you the smile enforcer? Would you just saunter up to some stranger on the street and demand a smile from them?
Some men come in to a strip club thinking they should be worshiped or even obeyed because they have the money. Well, don't expect that treatment from me. I don't do that. I am myself, if you can't hang with somebody that might be quicker, wittier and smarter than you then go and talk to some moronic bimbo so your own short comings won't be so evident. I am super nice and can hold a great conversation with anyone about most topics but I don't like when some angry man takes out his frustrations on me. I will quickly put you in your place. If you treat me nice and respectfully, you will get the same treatment back. What's wrong, angry man? Do you need a good fucking' by a large and hard penis? Maybe you're gay?
And for the record....I have nothing against gay people. I am utterly grateful that they exist and add some sparkle to this world, this I have said many times. If Rihanna or Irina call, I'd be gay too. I will be with a girl if I'm attracted to her.
Of course far from every man I encounter at work or out and about is an annoying cave man, most are nice. And no I do not hate men and I am far from a bitter person. I just thought I would elaborate a bit on that "You're gay right" comment I got. Often I hear, "Your boyfriend is a lucky guy". Yes indeed he is. Very lucky. He knows this. ;-)


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Melinda on :

Thanks for making me laugh! Why do men always think a woman needs to get laid? Like that solves any problems. Talking to idiots is what makes me grouchy! Silly, silly men.

Tatiana on :

Glad that I made you laugh!
The funny thing is after an annoying guy makes you grouchy then he turns it around on you and usually calls you a BITCH.
Ha Ha.....too funny. That's why I don't even waste energy talking to them, a whack on the head with a hammer or a kick in between their legs usually wakes them up and does the trick.

Mandy on :

People who tell you to SMILE need to be hit by a fucking bus.
Embrace the rainbow.

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