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On My Way

Here it is, the much coveted entry ticket to one of the best events on this planet. Burning Man.
Radical Ritual is the theme for 2017. This will be my fifth year in a row. I am on my way to the Playa to feel the wind and dust blow through my hair, to dance all night long, to see amazing art, to meet new people, to learn, to feel, to grow, to feel ALIVE, to immerse myself deeply into Burning Man for about one week. One week that will go by in a blink of an eye. On my way......

You won't hear from me until sometimes next week. ❤

Senior Stripping

"Hey LADY W AKE THE FUCK UP YOU ARE 50 AND STRIPPING..SWIMH AROUND THW POLE WITH A CANE SOON ....hope your senior stripping eprkd out for you hun."

Who needs enemies when you have "friends" like that?
YES.....I am 50 and STILL stripping, senior stripping. What is the "senior age" usually? 60 something? So I have a few more good years in my brittle bones before I am 60. And I started stripping with a cane, actually crutches to be exact, a while ago.
Didn't you know? Here are my crutches. I really need to step it up and paint them pink and add some rhinestones to them.

I am planning on stripping until I am at least 80. I remember this one lady dancer in Vegas, it was rumored that she was anything between 68-73 and let me tell you.....she made so much money. Not every night but when she did she hit thousands of dollars. Yes, I am serious. One of my young, extremely fit and very pretty friends loved it when this older lady would team up with her because that meant big bucks for my friend. And I never saw her do anything inappropriate, so don't knock the senior strippers! She was GOALS. For every dancer in the club.
When I turn 50, cause I am not 50 YET "hun"......let's not get ahead of ourselves now! When I turn 50 I am planning on a huge birthday bash at whatever club I am slowly gyrating around the pole at then, dropping it like it's lukewarm you know!
I am going to make a GRAND entrance in a wheelchair on my 50th birthday, a blinged out wheelchair matching my platforms. My entrance is going to trump any Mayweather entrance to a fight, actually maybe I should try to get ahold of Floyd and see if he will host my 50th birthday party at his own club, the Girl Collection in Vegas. See Floyd used to go to Crazy Horse Too back in the day when I worked there and throw his money around, he is the king of bling and cockiness. You will ALL be invited, even YOU my "friend"! Cause I am not mad at ya.
Only amused. I saw your true colors a long time ago but I was kind and accepted you.
Here is the reality. I am a dancer (some say stripper), I am not ashamed, I don't do anything wrong. Let me tell you what I personally think is wrong.....and what I personally wouldn't do.
Sleep around with dozens of guys, look desperately for love everywhere, look for a provider instead of providing for myself. Move in with some guy and say that I love him just to move out after a few months, then find some other guy and move right in because he has a job and can provide me with a place to live and security and call myself "happy" when in reality I'm not. Many women do that.
It is, in my book glorified prostitution.
So.....don't bash me, I am a senior stripper after all and we all know you should treat your elders with respect.

50 is the new 20. No face photoshop needed here. Like you do HUN. I have a few friends dancing at the Rhino in Vegas and they are better looking and in better shape than many 20 year olds. It is how you take care of yourself and I also think that inside ugliness show on certain people's faces.
Pay attention to the new wrinkles under my eyes. I cried hard every day for over a year, that will do it. EVERY day because I was SO deeply hurt and sad over another person's actions. Then a bunch of other difficult things happened, I felt like I was completely alone and lost in a never ending nightmare. I developed heart pounding anxiety and for a few months I averaged 3 hours of sleep per night and then I would wake up from my heart beating hard and my stomach hurting.
Then.....I stopped crying. I still feel bouts of sadness now and then because I learned that people are CRUEL and that I can't trust anyone besides perhaps a very few. But I am smiling and doing things, I am laughing and joking around.
I feel happiness in my heart again.
I went through the pain and sadness completely sober, no alcohol, no drugs and no looking for "love" or attention whatsoever. I talked to friends and strangers.
Shared my feelings, listened to their stories. And I am STILL standing. Head high and proud because I KNOW that I didn't do anything wrong.
And one more thing.....that this "friend" doesn't know but other people close to me know. I am starting a new job in less than two weeks. I will still dance (I think) to add to my income (smart) but the new job will keep me rather busy during the week.
I was interviewed and selected. I am not going to give away too many details about what I am going to do here on the blog. The new job has NOTHING to do with dancing and I am not going to work in a cafe either. I will have certain duties and responsibilities that I don't want mixed up whatsoever with the dancing or the blog, therefore I can't share much about what I am going to do.

Skrattar bäst som skrattar sist.

Tried New Stuff

I tried some new stuff recently, let me tell you about it.....
So after seeing a hair color called Naturtint for years I finally decided to try it to see if it would be gentler on my hair and scalp. So far I have only tried it twice, the first time the 7N shade and the second time 8N. 7N was a bit too dark and 8N is an ok match, although I might be an 8 with some 9 in it. My knowledge in the world of hair color is limited but I was looking for an ammonia free color and Naturtint does not have ammonia. BUT Naturtint contains something called ethanolamine. So I looked it up because I have never heard about it before and ethanolamine is also used in hemorrhoid treatment. And hair color, how weird.

Here is what I found on

Q. Naturtint® does not contain ammonia, how does it color the hair?

A. A key component of the hair coloring formula is the oxidant, which releases oxygen when the colorant and color developer are mixed, so that the hair cuticle can open up and absorb the color. For the oxidant to be effective, the coloring formula must use an alkaline medium to create the proper pH. Ammonia is often used as this medium, but it is very aggressive and can damage hair. Naturtint uses ethanolamine as the alkaline medium; it is less aggressive than ammonia and achieves the proper pH in a gentler way.

From what I understand Naturtint is not tested on animals.
I also got some Olaplex. tried it twice on damp hair, left it in for several hours the first time and overnight the second. I know that some people think that Olaplex is a miracle cure for their hair, I did not see any significant difference. Olaplex is not tested on animals.

And then I recently got two new lipsticks. MAC has a new line called Metallic Lips Collection and I got Ionized Iris and Rose-Dipped. Although MAC claims to not test on animals, other reports out there claim that MAC DOES test on animals since MAC is sold in China and China requires animal testing.

Fat Slob And Meth Whore

At the beginning of July I noticed a significant spike in blog readers. And it was one entry in particular that stood out, an entry that I wrote in August 2014 called "Dancers Talk". If you want to read that entry you can find it in my "Categories" section under "Wild Alaskan Kodiak".
See that boat I was brave enough to travel to and dance at in 2014 recently made headlines.....Darren, the boat's owner took it to Homer and had dancers on it again. I always thought this boat idea was fantastic and to take it around to various Alaskan harbors is great. To sum it up, my experience at the boat was interesting and I had fun for the most part but there were some issues. l love Kodiak island so it was nice to explore during the day. I did have some words with Darren and I have never tried to hide it, I feel that I gave him constructive criticism in a polite way.
I heard from Darren's wife Kimberly a while back and she only had nice things to say, I have nothing bad to say about Kimberly.
This boat named the Wild Alaskan has not been without controversy, several girls went on it to dance after me (I was one of the first) and some of them were not happy. Everybody will have their own experience and their own opinion.
So......when the boat started making headlines again my blog entries pertaining my stay on it were popping up of course. A while back I also noticed that used a picture of me from the boat, (I picture that I took myself by the way), for an article about the boat. Since is rather large website they should had at least asked me first before using a picture of me you would think. But no. I exchanged some emails with one of their reps about this.
Then I also found out that some girl I don't even know shared the "Dancers Talk" entry I wrote on a closed Facebook group that only dancers can belong to.
Here is some of what other girls had to say about the Wild Alaskan (this is recent stuff from this month).

"I had a friend that was up there in May.. she said she will never go back!"

"I can't recommend this at all."

"I'm so glad I left when I did. I considered just staying and sticking it out because I know how much money is there, but I kept feeling the urge to get out of there. I immediately booked my ticket home while I was still in the dressing room the last night I worked. Always follow your intuition. No amount of money will convince me to be abused in any way."

"I was literally just up there. I planned to work through the summer, but I left after a week. He was very nice to me, but verbally abusive to my friends. I know that if I'd stayed, he'd become that way towards me too. We didn't live on the boat though. It's really too bad because that club would otherwise be a dream come true. I had a few friends who worked there in 2014 and made insane money, but unfortunately the owner ruins it for everyone. If you just got there (name withheld) I'm not surprised that you saw his mean streak so immediately, because I know he's pissed that 4 of us left abruptly last week. I'm sorry you had such a scary experience.
I worked three nights...I made so little over these three nights that I still can't afford a ticket home. I'm calling a friend and having her book me out of tmro morning but this was an awful setup.
That's amazing that dancers can let each other know about stuff like this this is very important someone could end up going out there and losing their life because of this Behavior so this is really appreciation to us all Alaska has always been known around the dancers that I know as the big money plays the biggest money plays there is. And my question to anyone reading this is has anyone else worked anywhere else in Alaska there's some Club in Anchorage that I've heard about many times but does anyone know any safe places out there."

Hey....I don't know what to say. It has been three years since I went to Kodiak island. Like I said, the idea is great. If Darren can take that boat to Dutch Harbor I can see the dancers making a lot.
And of course.....when an influx of people read a blog you will also get somebody with an interesting this one.

I am not sure if I am the fat slob and meth whore since the "Dancers Talk" entry did not have a picture of me.....and some people are not smart enough to click around on the blog after randomly finding one entry (they think that's it) and some are just not interested in reading more.
But my personal friends and also readers are very well aware of - I am definitely the poster child for both a fat slob AND a meth whore. I find this highly entertaining actually! And yes, I look like a bag of smashed assholes. Spot on description! So witty! To put it more in perspective, my butthole is prettier than some people's faces.
But this is a free country and everybody is entitled to their own opinion.
The difference between me and people like the one that bothered to write a comment and I am actually impressed by that (kudos to you) because most people that stop by here are silent readers.....anyhow the difference is that I have cojones and do not need to hide behind a screen when speaking my mind. I will tell you to your face if I see you. But since this is a blog, I express a lot of stuff by writing. If you want some verbal abuse and my opinions in person - make an appointment.
Have a wonderful weekend all of my fans and frenemies!

Here is an article from about the Wild Alaskan.

Tamolitch Pool

Went back to the Blue Pool yesterday......the official name of the place is Tamolitch Pool. Went with Desi this time, she has been wanting to see the place for some time. What can I say? It's a great, very scenic hike through gorgeous forest.....the pool itself is absolutely beautiful, the water in the pool is icy cold.
Here are some of the pics.....

Thank You forest! I love you.

Basal Cell Carcinoma is my basal cell carcinoma story that I have been sitting on for a while. This kind of cancer is the most common type of skin cancer and according to the dermatologist that cut mine out it was caused by childhood or early exposure to sun and/or tanning beds.
When I was 14/15 I wanted a tan and went to tanning beds a lot and I also did burn several times from the sun. The last time I went to a tanning bed was over ten years ago now, I remember....I was in Denver working at a club called Shotgun Willies. I wanted a tan because I am one of those fair skinned people. And thought (like many others) that I looked better with a tan. Plus in a strip club you look better with a tan in general, that is just how it is. Pale skin lit up on stage by all the lights is more unforgiving than tanned skin or darker complexions, that is why so many girls that dance either tan, use self tanner or cover up with corsets, pantyhose and other articles of clothing.....I don't cover up with that stuff. Anyhow, I burned badly from that tanning session in Denver and I had to stay home from work because I felt feverish, my skin was red, hot and hurt to touch, that is when I decided no more tanning beds. But like I said, this BCC (basal cell carcinoma) is from from early sun exposure.
Anyhow, a few years ago I noticed what I thought was a mole on my back that felt weird and I have MANY moles and skin tags, probably over 100. Blergh.
Some people point them out and think they are cute and I've had a few Chinese people really like them and told me my moles means I am lucky. Well, I personally do NOT think most of my moles are cute in any kind of way and I want about 15 of them removed like TODAY. I have even entertained the thought of cutting them off myself with a razor blade. I had four (if I recall it right) removed as a teenager in Sweden, I should had removed more that time. Because it was FREE.
And it wasn't free a few months ago when I had the BCC cut out. My first surgery by the way......
So this mole on my back felt weird, like scaly and rough and it would bleed sometimes. So back in May I FINALLY went to a dermatologist, she actually would frequent the cafe I worked at and I would make her soy lattes, we started talking and she told me she was a dermatologist at a doctor's office nearby, so I made an appointment. And yes indeed, my suspicion was right.....this was not what I thought a weird mole, it was BCC.
Jordan (the dermatologist) scraped about a quarter size off and had it sent into a lab for a biopsy.

I got a call back a few days later and Jordan told me that I should have the whole basal cell carcinoma cut out. Which I did. I was awake the whole time, I got a few injections for the pain and then she started cutting and digging. It took a while, longer than I had anticipated and then she sutured the wound shut. I got nothing for the pain. When I drove home I felt sad, lonely and I really missed my Mom.
I have not told my Mom about this because I do not want to worry her, I am OK.
I felt somewhat uncomfortable from the surgery the first two days, I felt a burning sensation like that area was on fire and sleeping on my back was not an option.
I took an over the counter pain pill twice, that's it. I think it was Advil.

I had the stitches in for about two and a half weeks, they were kind of itchy. It felt good to have them removed. Like.....ahhhhhh.....finally!

And here is my scar. It is kind of red. I have Mederma and something called ScarAway but I am too lazy to apply that on a regular basis.

It is EXPENSIVE to have a procedure like this done in the US. Just made me think even more about how messed up and unfair healthcare is in this country.
I of course think that healthcare should be free, or at least low cost, for everybody and available to everyone that needs it. NOBODY wants to be sick, at least nobody sane. I don't think it is OK that some people get healthcare for free and others have to pay. You don't have a job, you don't pay taxes and you get your healthcare for free, others that work and pay taxes have to pay out of pocket or pay for expensive health insurance and worry about confusing and costly deductibles and the wealthy don't have to worry because they can afford their medical care anyways. And why do some get their methadone for free but others that have cancer for example have to pay? I do not agree with this at all. Healthcare and all that surrounds it, like insurance costs, the insurance companies and the's all a profit making industry. I feel it is morally wrong to profit of sick people. Has anybody heard of the Hippocratic Oath? Seems to me that the Hippocratic Oath and making profit of people when they are sick does not go hand in hand.
So....what can I tell you? I survived. It wasn't my most exciting and fun moment but it is over, I hope. They cut out all the basal cell carcinoma, at least that is what I was told. I want about 15 more moles removed, just regular moles not cancer. So if you are a physician that wants to do some pro bono work and cut away some of my moles - let me know.
And one more thing - DO NOT USE tanning beds (just DON'T ) and try not to burn your skin in the sun.


Well.....the great solar eclipse came and went. It's over now and was kind of overhyped or should I say, people were getting way too worked up over this I think. Freaking out that there would be a shortage of water, gasoline, name it.
No shortages here, well I don't know what happened in your neck of the woods but I did not lack anything.
I drove to Terrebonne which was in totality but not in the direct path of the eclipse. I put on my protective eclipse glasses and watched, it was like looking at a new moon. With a reddish golden tint. Then the moon covered the sun for about a minute which looked pretty cool and then it was over.
It did not get completely dark where I was at, it looked like evening, perhaps it got completely dark in the areas that were in the direct path of the eclipse. I don't know. What I did notice though was stillness and quiet coming on as the totality drew closer....there is something special about these events for sure.

Next time there is a total eclipse here in the US is in 2024.....then it is expected that there will be peaks of totality for about four minutes, which will be longer totality than today's eclipse. I don't have any knowledge on this subject whatsoever.....the sun, the moon, the stars.

This was the frontage of yesterday's Bulletin (a paper).

Haceda Head Lighthouse

When looking at a map of the Oregon Coast I saw several lighthouses along the coast, I decided I wanted to see a lighthouse and went to Haceda Head Lighthouse and here are the pictures.
From the parking lot and the beach you take a trail up to the lighthouse.

And there it was! How pretty!

Somebody told me to make sure I would continue the path up behind the lighthouse and look at the view from up there, which I did.

There is a couple that lives in a house adjacent to the lighthouse, here is some information about caring for a lighthouse. Could this be a job for you?

It was windy up hair was all over the place as you can see.

But here I am.....HELLO! :-)

After the lighthouse I went down to the car, took Chhaya out and we went to the beach.

Chhaya's ears were flopping in the wind. ❤

The sun came down.

And the moon came up.

It got dark and chilly after a while. We hopped in the car and drove off. I stopped a bit down the road to look back at the lighthouse and yes.....the light was on. The light makes a circle so when it's facing your direction you can really see it.

I would like to see one more lighthouse, Yaquina Head Lighthouse. A future trip is being planned in my head......

The Oregon Coast

I took a drive (together with Chhaya of course) along the Oregon Coast Highway, which is the famous US 101 and stopped at a few places on the Oregon Coast.
I definitely have to go back and see more because it is absolutely beautiful.
Here are some pics from the trip....
I found a pic of me on a wall. ;-)

Pretty Chhaya enjoying the view.

Cape Foulweather.

We went down to the beach and dug our toes into the sand.

Hopefully I get to go back and explore this beautiful part of the country soon!

Another Trip

Today was a good day for another trip so me and Chhaya picked up Desi at 3 and we took off.
So we were going to go to Clear Lake because I read that there are some more than 3000 year old trees under the water in the lake and that this lake is considered one of the best places for diving in the US.
On the way there I had to stop at the sign for the Pacific Crest Trail that Cheryl Strayed hiked (1100 miles of it - impressive!) and then penned about that adventure in her book Wild that I just love.

It was a windy and gloomy day today which was nice after many days of relentless sun and heat but it didn't make Clear Lake any justice. The water IS very clear, we went out on the boat deck and as the water got deeper it still remained clear and you can see the bottom of the lake. To view the underwater forest you need to probably either dive or take a boat out to the location of it. Maybe have to come back here another time because Chhaya tried to get in the row boats several times, basically telling me she wants to go boating.

Fed the ducks, Chhaya that normally would not eat plain bread wants to scarf down all the bread that the ducks get because she does not want to share HER bread with them.

And then we continued driving and got to Sahalie Falls.....

I hiked down to Koosah Falls when I was there last month and today we scrambled down to Sahalie Falls, well as close as we could get. It was muddy and the water from the falls sprayed us down, we basically got a shower. Chhaya was not too excited at all over her shower. Here I am showing her the falls from up at the viewpoint and she got kind of what is THAT?

But we got a picture with the waterfalls behind us. Mission accomplished!
Took some pics, or attempted to at the bottom of the hill behind us but the water spraying everywhere made it difficult. I do suggest a hike down to Koosah Falls for an up close experience for those that can handle a rather steep climb.

Then I realized we were close to Belknap so we went there too. A visit to the amazing Secret Garden can never be a bad is so beautiful at Belknap.
If you happen to be in the area you have to go there!

When the plants are taller than you....

Then it started getting dark and we drove home. What a nice day!