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I have been watching some Netflix documentaries the last few days that I will see if I can reflect on here tomorrow or so. Documentaries, when dealing with serious and dark matters are kind of depressing. But great at the same time, it's good to get reality presented to you instead of all the fake and pretend stuff that we are surrounded by on a daily basis.
I made a little fire today. I burn stuff like ice cream containers, napkins, empty paper cups that had my latte in them (when I don't bring my reusable cup to the coffee shop), egg cartons, basically anything burnable goes in the fireplace. I also have firewood stacked up, that goes in the fire too but not today since I only wanted to burn some scraps. My hair smells like now.

I feel tired because I had to get up early yesterday, went to bed late and didn't sleep well last night. My body wants to sleep but I have stuff to do. Better go and take care of it I guess.......

Fruit Salad

I got inspired (from somebody else's blog, her name is Clara) to make a fruit salad. It's been so long since I had fruit salad, can't even recall last time. So I went to the grocery store today and got two apples, three kiwis, a container of strawberries and one mango. And some whipped cream. All organic except the mango. IF I can I get organic I will. At Whole Foods it's easy, it's all organic. There is no such thing even close to Whole Foods in Kenai or Soldotna but you can get your fruits and veggies from the organic section at Fred Meyer and I do not think it's that much more expensive. But I haven't really compared.
I got home and chopped it all up, put it in a bowl, refrigerated for maybe 30 minutes, whipped up the cream and enjoyed. Very good! The first bite took me back to my birthdays in Sweden as a little girl, my Mom would always make me a cake with sliced up fruit in between the cake layers, fruit on top and plenty of whipped cream.

ALL my fruit and veggie scraps go to the animals outside. I do not throw any of that in the garbage. If the animals don't eat it....then it will disappear eventually and become mulch.
But the animals, I'm suspecting rabbits, seem to like what I give them. Unless the bears are enjoying my offerings.

I'm in the process of cleaning the house. Today I swept the downstairs and mopped a few sections. Tomorrow more mopping. All shoes come off by the door at my house. No shoes inside unless I am in a hurry and rush in from the outside to grab something real quick, so yes exceptions are always allowed. I remember when I was newbie in the US and would be so grossed out when I noticed that it was normal to wear shoes in the house here, people lounging on their couches and even beds with their outdoors shoes on. I was like??? I had never seen anybody do that in Sweden. To me that was nasty. When I lived with Shelley I would tell her friends to get their dirty shoes off her couch, of course they thought I was a rude bitch. LOL. Then when my friend Mikey moved in with me and Mike (when I had roommates) he was not happy about the no shoe rule, I would NOT budge on that. Now he takes his shoes off in the garage before he even steps into his house. He would never wear shoes in his house today, which is super stylish and very clean may I add. I think it all depends on what lifestyle you have and how you grew up. If you live in a rustic style house all alone maybe wearing shoes indoors doesn't seem like a big deal. But dragging in dirt and all kinds of nasty stuff and then get it on the couch or the bed.....I can't personally live like that.
Hello, people spit their lougies and blow their noses on sidewalks all the time that everybody steps in. Having said that, everybody has different rules for their house, you just have to respect that I guess. I wear my heels when I walk Chhaya and tend to the yard, who doesn't?

Delta Cargo

Flying with a dog is rather stressful, especially if you have to leave your baby in the care of strangers at an airport. Back in December when I started making calls to arrange for me and Chhaya to fly out of Alaska I found out that flying with a dog nowadays as opposed to last time I flew with Chhaya in 2011, is a rather complicated and expensive affair. Prior to this trip I completed two round trip flights with Chhaya, between Anchorage and Las Vegas. I would drop Chhaya off at the airport, watch her get whisked away while trying to hold it together. Boarded the airplane, got an OK from a stewardess that Chhaya was safely on board and then picked her up at the arriving airport. This would cost $200 each way. Well, I guess regulations and rules changed back in October 2014......of course. The airlines found out a way to make even more money from people. If I leave for a shorter amount of time I board Chhaya in a kennel but if I'm gone for some time I have to bring her with me.......I have no other choice. So I found out that the new rules and regulations affect all snub nosed pets, Chhaya is a pitbull and therefore considered a snub nosed dog. She now has to fly cargo with Delta, that means I have to drop her off and pick her up at a cargo facility which is not located at the airport. The price is no longer $200 one way, it was about $750 one way. Chhaya's tickets cost WAY MORE than mine. That is just ridiculous! I can fly to Sweden and back for $1500 and have money left over.
I also checked with Alaska Airlines before finally caving in and booking with Delta. Now Alaska Airlines consider pitbulls to be a dangerous breed, therefore Chhaya's airline approved crate that she has flown in before is no longer considered an approved crate. She needs a SPECIAL crate, made of steel or some shit like that. It can only be ordered from a a few Alaska Airlines approved web sites and the crate for Chhaya's size starts at like $500 and up if I remember it right. Complete and utter BULLSHIT I say.
So back in December my friend Jim gave me a ride to Anchorage and we took Chhaya to the cargo facility where they weighed Chhaya and the crate, made sure I was not smuggling any drugs or small children in the crate, made sure Chhayas' health certificate was in order........yes, you need to go to the vet and get a health certificate too within 10 days of flying, swiped my credit card and off we went. I was SO scared to leave Chhaya there. You have to check the pet at cargo a few hours before the flight. They stay put at the cargo facility before someone transports them to the airplane. I was scanning for her crate through the windows when I was waiting to board the plane and felt so relieved when I saw them board her on the plane. And I made sure a stewardess confirmed that Chhaya was on board.
Here we are back in brave baby and me feeling extremely frazzled and close to tears.

Now flying out of Vegas turned out to be a bit more complicated.....You have temperature restrictions too when flying a pet. It can't be too hot and too cold. If it's over 75 degrees F you are not allowed to fly a pitbull. I wanted to get on a 7 30 am flight, thinking it would not be over 75 degrees at that time on the date I had in mind. I had been checking hourly temperatures for weeks leading up to the flight. Well, THAT particular aircraft leaving at 7 30 am would not accept Chhaya's crate, it was a whole 4 inches too tall! WOW. I mean, charging me $750 is not a problem whatsoever but making a fuss over a meager 4 inches is? Booking her on a later flight would mean taking a chance that it would warm up to 75 degrees or more. Which would mean, no flying for Chhaya. So I flew out of Los Angeles instead. It was actually better choice since MY ticket from Los Angeles to Anchorage was over $400 cheaper than flying from Vegas to Anchorage. And the rental car I got was affordable too. Yeah, flying with your dog is a complete nightmare and an expensive one too. Thank goodness I make money and can afford unexpected expenses like these.
Here is my baby in Los Angeles.

I was even more stressed out leaving her at the cargo location there. It was very busy and super loud. Some shady looking dude kept on staring at Chhaya and telling me he liked the way she looked. I gave him the evil eye that basically said, "mind your own business and don't look at my baby". After dropping Chhaya off I had to find the rental car location, drop the car off and get myself to the airport. There was some major construction going on at LAX that day so everything was just more complicated. Then the guy working at cargo that had dealt with Chhya's paperwork could not find her health certificate when I had already given it to him and he made a copy of it, so he called me and told me to come back while I was already in traffic, then called me back and said he located the paperwork. can just imagine. I was SO happy and relieved when I picked up Chhaya in Anchorage and I'm sure she felt the same way.
So since these new regulations and fees took place, an increased amount of people have been getting fake companion animal/emotional support animal certificates for their dogs. Stating (even if completely made up) that their dog is flying with them, next to them because they have a condition of some sort that means they need a companion animal. It can be PTSD, stress, you name it. The dog flies FOR FREE. Did I think about getting a fake certificate for Chhaya? Yes. I mean, why the hell should I shell out $750 for my dog to fly cargo when she can sit next to me for free? It's actually VERY stressful for both me and Chhaya, so that in itself should be grounds for a condition, I am stressed out and need my dog, she gives me EMOTIONAL SUPPORT! I personally know a girl that went and saw a therapist a number of times and faked being "sick" just so she could have her dog with her on the plane and not have to pay for her dog to fly. It worked, her dog now flies for free as a companion animal.
No questions asked. I guess you need to see a therapist or something like that to get some kind of a paperwork that verifies that you have issues. I have never been to a therapist or a psychologist or whatever terms you use for professional people that help you with your mental issues, so I wouldn't even know what to say. I thought about it but decided against it. I also worried if there would be enough room for Chhaya curled up by my legs. That whole affair seemed rather complicated. But all kinds of people are getting these certificates just so they can fly their dog for free and I DON'T BLAME THEM! Flying with Chhaya is something that I rather not do again.
The baby is home and enjoying life.

One more thing while I'm writing about my latest flying experience. Check out my free snacks - Starbucks coffee that tasted really bad and a Delta cookie, I love these cookies. It's very trendy for girls to put up pics on their blog or Instagram of first class flights or private jets and all the luxuries that come with it, often funded by a wealthy man that will demand or definitely want something in return for buying you that experience. I can happily say that I pay my own way with my own money, not owing anybody anything. Independence is priceless! I would not want to fly first class anyways, I'm too frugal for that and would much rather save the money and spend it on something else. I think upgrades on flights are a huge waste of money. If I can have a window seat so I can sleep and not be surrounded by screaming infants and fussy toddlers and munch on a crispy Delta cookie I'm happy.
I'd rather munch on a Delta cookie than having to have sex with some dude I don't even like in exchange for a first class flight. BARF! Independence is the ultimate trendy - I decided.

Running Shoes

I spent several hours outside today. It was even warm enough to lay out and tan! So I'm very happy. I got a light tan while in Vegas, I rarely get dark only kind of bronzed and I thought the little bit of color I managed to get in Vegas would soon disappear after retuning to chilly Kenai but now I think my tan will stay. Great! Chhaya lapped up the sun all afternoon like a big lizard, she loves napping in the sun. Outdoors season has arrived! For me that means, putting on the running shoes for some outside exercise in the fresh air. I do not like running on a treadmill, nothing beats running outside even if it's raining. Hiking. Canoeing. Camping. Reading a book outside while hearing to the birds chirp. SO NICE!
The lawn is not that green yet, I live in an area that gets lots of cool ocean air. I think that affects the greenery here. Or lack of thereof. Guess what, it's running time!

My Office & My Closet

I'm back at my office - meaning Coffee Roasters. I enjoy coming here and writing, it's relaxing and not home. When I was gone they remodeled the place a bit, I like the new look. First of today at my office.

Pics of the office, the new and improved look.

So cute and so simple. Take a piece of wood, pick a color and paint the wood, glue on coffee beans in the shape of a cup of coffee or whatever you want. Genius. I love it and feel inspired!

More art. The girl that works next door made this and the coffee bean creation. She is a photographer too. Very artistic and creative I think.

Now to my closet. Back in December or was it November (?) I was very close to moving away from Kenai. My stuff was packed up in boxes but then I changed my mind. Instead I went to Vegas for some time. Now I'm back in Kenai. My stuff, like 90% of it is still in boxes (plastic crates). So this is my closet. Imagine finding an article of clothing you want to wear, pretty much a project. So I'm not going to unpack this suitcase, instead I will rummage through it when I need something to wear and look through my boxes too. I lived out of two suitcases in Vegas so I can continue living like this for a while until I know what I'm doing and where I'm going. I had a very nice closet for a while, I like a pretty looking closet. Organized and nice to look at. This is not what I call a pretty looking closet. I can live with it for now. Could be worse for sure.

Today's plans, it's Friday. Patch up a few of Chhaya's binkis. They are put up on one of the shelves in the closet. I picked up all the stuffing today upstairs and downstairs from a ripped apart Piggie (pig) and Hedgie (hedgehog). Hedgie was trashed and could not be saved, Piggie will live a bit longer. I might wax my legs and then I have to wash my hair if I decide to go to work. If not I will stay at home at watch American Horror Story (Netflix). I started it last week. I'm through season 1, Murder House. Now I'm a few episodes into Asylum. I like it so far, Asylum is better than Murder House I find. Jessica Lange is very impressive.

Air Mattress Issues

Seems like I have been dealing with air mattress issues for the last couple of years. Does that not sound so very glamorous? I slept on an air mattress in Vegas the whole time I was there. For about four months. Purchased the queen size mattress at Walmart for $20, very affordable. A few weeks before I left Vegas, a hole mysteriously appeared on the underside of the mattress and it slowly went flat. I located the hole and patched it up, filled the mattress with air and the mattress decided to pop out an extra layer - it beefed up. So the last few weeks in Vegas I slept on a wonky looking air mattress, I called it my pregnant air mattress.
I DO have a queen size, very comfortable bed in Vegas. In storage. All my stuff, as in furniture, dishes, clothes, books, knick knacks etc are in a large storage unit in Vegas that I pay an exorbitant monthly fee for. I don't even want to think about the money I spent on that storage unit so far, I could had purchased brand new luxurious furniture or a car for that money. I really need to figure out what to do with my stuff in that storage unit within the near future. Really. For anyone looking for a great business to invest their money in, I have one advice - storage units.
So a few years ago I slept on an air mattress here in Kenai, AK too cause I refused to purchase a bed since in my mind I ALREADY had a perfectly good bed, albeit far away in a dusty storage unit in Vegas. Well finally, after patching it up like four times due to Chhaya jumping all over it and it still continued leaking, I gave up and have been enjoying my sleep, many movie watching sessions and plenty of cuddling with Chhaya on a king size bed purchased at a local Alaska branch called the Mattress Ranch. I still have an air mattress at home, it's my "futon" for the living room. Chhaya loves laying on it, it's elevated and has a couple of soft blankets and two large pillows on it. Well, wouldn't you know......the other day it slowly started deflating. I thought for sure I would find a hole from one of Chhaya's claws on the velour top.
Nope again, a tiny hole on the underside of the mattress. My question does a mattress get a hole underneath it if there was nothing sharp under it to begin with? That is a mystery to me. Well, after entertaining you all with my mundane air mattress stories I will now go and take care of my house that is a MESS. I have tons of things to wash, sort through, hang up, wipe down, sweep etc. A mess I'm telling you!


I have a somewhat complicated relationship with Q-tips as strangely as that sounds. If I was ever stranded on an island I would like to have an unlimited supply of Q-tips available, a good tweezer and some sharp scissors. I use Q-tips just like every other person that uses them does, ears - mine and Chhaya's. I also clean my nose with them. Have you ever tried cleaning your nose with Q-tips? Works great! Anyhow, so the complicated relationship is that every time I get a new box of Q-tips and open it up I think that something significant will happen in my life when that box comes to an end, some sort of event. I got this box the other day, 625 Q-Tips in long will this box last and what will be going on in my life then?
My last box ended a few weeks before I left Vegas, I refused to get another box until I got back to Alaska. I just couldn't do it, so I managed to live without Q-tips for a few weeks, how I'm not sure. I wonder if there is somebody else out there that feels the way I do about Q-tips? That a box of Q-tips holds a meaning to it. Sounds completely kooky.....I know.


I have a new favorite song to dance to at work. Faded by ZHU. Love it! I guess when I was away the computer with all of our music crashed, the DJs managed to restore most of our songs but not all. So I was racking my memory trying to recall all the songs that had been on my playlist. I think I got most of them. I find it so ironic when girls "steal" another girl's special song. Of course you can dance to whatever music you want, if allowed, some clubs do not allow a certain style of too much rap etc. But you KNOW when a girl has that special song, we all know (unless you work with hundreds of girls/night but that is not the case here) and in general it's an unwritten rule of courtesy that you respect your co workers special songs. I do. One girl made a point of starting to dance to two of my songs, one Rihanna song that I used to dance to nightly and the other night she played another one of my songs. Is this how passive aggressive people express themselves I wonder? Pathetic.
She can have both songs since they are played out and I have plenty of other songs to choose from. Plus my crush Rihanna has new stuff out now that I will check out. It's pure comedy to watch this girl dance to the songs, actually pure comedy to watch her on stage in general, she has some new jerky moves that are HILARIOUS! Looks like a belly dancer that took a long drag off the crack pipe. Some girls just never learn how to move fluid and nice on stage, no matter how long they've been stripping. What do I look like? I'm not sure. ;-)
It depends on the stage, some stages are not made for dancing, more for just walking up and down one direction and the other because there is simply no room to dance. When I'm on a stage I feel comfortable on I can relax and move freely. I was told from a couple of the waitresses at Crazy Horse Too that I was their favorite girl to watch on stage. I think that was a very nice compliment. And somebody else told me that I look like beautiful art. Besides the usual "great stage" or "you look good up there" comments. But I have also danced on stages that I did not want to go on at all cause I was not comfortable on them, whether it's bad lights or just a bad stage in general. Like the Spearmint Rhino in Carter Lake, IA.....the lights on that stage SUCKED. I don't know why clubs insist on having BAD lights. I mean, it's OBVIOUS when the lights are bad. When the girls actually look better in daylight than in club lights then you know that the lights on the stage are bad.....OK. I can assure you that I do not look anything like beautiful art then, more like a stiff and annoyed dancer that just wants to get the forced time on stage over with as soon as possible. So it all depends on the situation. I definitely prefer working in a club with a dancer friendly stage cause I do enjoy going on stage. Me and the pole do not get along. I have no pole skills whatsoever. Having said that, knowing one strained looking pole trick or two does not make you a good dancer. And there is a huge difference between stripper style dancing and going out clubbing dancing. If you go on a stage in a strip club and bust out some line dancing moves or some complicated Chris Brown moves or the moonwalk people will look at you like WTF??? And rightfully so. If I went to a regular club (not strip club) and started doing my strip club moves people would think I had some kind of a psychosis of some sort. So yes, there is a huge difference.
And this was my outfit last Saturday, which was the last time I worked - yellow bra and panty with yellow detail. I think the fire hydrant makes for a nice touch in the pic.

And of course there is already some small drama brewing. What else can you expect from a small village with one strip club and bored girls that dance every freakin' night of the week for months at an end? Get a life already! That's right, your life consists of the club and working every night, I forgot. So one crusty old fart (man) told another crusty old fart (another man) that I had mentioned something about one of the girls apparent weight gain. Well, I did not actually see her until Saturday night, so how I would had said something about her weigh gain before I actually saw her is a mystery to me. Seems like even the crusty old farts around here need to get a life. Plus I would had not said something like that to the old fart that lied and said that I did anyways, I don't talk to him about stuff like that. In fact, I barely talk to him at all. Are you following me in this village drama here......? I'm telling you, worse than a Sunday market gossip session in the old country.
I don't really give a shit about anybody's weight gain as long as it's not me sporting a big gut, love handles and rolls down my back, I'm happy. I don't need any meth, pills or be on a strict diet to stay thin. I can't even imagine living in misery like that.
Hmmm.....I SHOULD add here that I don't have any kids. I know that if I would had carried a baby and squeezed it out I most likely would not had a flat stomach like I do now. I don't know how women get thin after pregnancy, I envision myself with an extra 50 lbs after a pregnancy and my dancing days would be over.

Selfie Stick

I got my belated Christmas and birthday gifts the other day......all the way from Sweden!
My good friend Rose-Marie sent them. So I am now the owner of a selfie stick! I have not used it yet but I will absolutely show you the results when I do. I need to figure out how to use it first. Actually everybody at work here in Alaska said that the perfect gift for me last Christmas would had been a selfie stick. Also in the package, a shampoo and conditioner by L'anza that I heard good things about. A hand cream from Weleda and some other goodies.
TACK Rose-Marie! ❤

Friendship. Should be easy and smooth right.....but sometimes it's not. Some om my friends (most of them) I get along with amazingly. I have known them for a very long time and we rarely argue. Then with others it's like a constant on and off situation. We are either friends or not. Hot or cold. I don't like that. I am not like that. I truly understand the value of friendship. Think about it, how priceless a true friend really is. You know, the kind of person that opens up their home for you when you need a place to stay for a while or is there for you when you're in time of need, THAT kind of friend. I can with certainty make the statement that I have a handful of people in my life that will be there with me until the end. Others, are no longer friends for various reasons. Sometimes you just grow apart and sometimes so much negativity is involved that it's just not worth to try to continue the friendship - too much work. For a super loyal person like me that can be difficult to come to terms with. It hurts in my heart to lose a friend. But life goes on and not all doors always completely close, depending on the situation. I want to do good with my life, time is limited after all (as we know it) and I want to move in a positive direction and grow as a person, not to get dragged down by other people's constant drama and negativity.
If you have a true friend, consider yourself lucky!

First Kaladi

I had my first latte from Kaladi yesterday in months. Oh yumminess! Besides that it was chilly and raining here yesterday, I went for a refreshing run. Today it's nicer but there are way too many mosquitoes out ALREADY and they are huge too, I can just imagine how many there will be when it warms up in a month or so, swarms of them just like last year and the year before. Awful.
Went to work. Basically sat around and made money. Could had made much more if I had tried but I don't want to make an effort, it's good that I don't really have to always. I'm trying to muster up the energy for work again tonight.....