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Today when I went to Kaladi I found that somebody on their Angel Tree to give something to for Christmas. I have been doing that for a few years now. Yes, I'm that kind of highly annoying person that likes to brag to everybody about myself, not only am I kind to animals, I'm rather generous to random people too. Maybe one day I will grow up and stop bragging about my amazing self but probably not (I just have so much to brag about), until then feel free to feel extremely annoyed with me cause I couldn't care less. Are YOU doing something for others too? Good! Keep that up! And you can share that with me, I love listening to other people's good deeds. Remember, action speak louder than words.
Anyhow, last year I started noticing that there were more and more older people making wishes for gifts at the Angel Trees, I know this is for the Hope Community Resources here in Soldotna but still.....I went to both Kaladi locations to find a person (child) to give something to. The first location only had adults on the Angel Tree. With rather demanding wishes, stuff that I would wish for myself like clothes and gift certificates for spas and pedicures. You might as well ask for what you want, right? But today I found a five year old girl that would like toys, coloring books, a hat and gloves. Perfect! I will spoil her. So as a JOKE I made my own angel, I am tempted to hang it up in the Angel Tree at Kaladi just for fun. I told my friend Traci that works there.....she just shook her head like LOL. On MY wish list you will find Prada bag (preferably pink), spa visit, massage, high end stores (gift certificates) 7" heels by Pleaser (sparkly on a platform, size eight). I think this was hilarious! My angel wish that is. What if I would hang it up and get all of that? Actually, I am a giver. You know how they say some people are takers and other givers? I guess you could be a mix of both too, a giver and a taker. Of course I like to get stuff but giving makes me happy. So I'm glad I was able to find a
5 year old girl to give something to. I'm excited over that.

I watched a documentary on Netflix this evening called Neurons to Nirvana, it was good. Basically talked about psychedelics, stuff that I am interested in and that I'm looking forward to indulge some more into. To me drugs are tools for getting to know myself and the world better, to feel something MORE, not to get "fucked up" or escape something that I don't want to deal with. Therefore I'm not into street drugs, I like psychedelics.
But now I think I will call it a night. Monday tomorrow, December first. One month left of 2014. I have some ambitious plans next week, let's see if I will stick to them or just be lazy......right now lazy sounds good.


I think it's safe to say that winter has arrived. I'm glad it took until now for the snow to come because it will be here until April at least. And by then I am definitely way over the snow.

Chhaya loves looking for mice and other small creatures, not that she catches any but she gets very excited looking for them. This is the "mousie hole", she runs to it and sticks her head into the hole as far as she can.

I finally baked apple pie today and some cornbread. Had some friends over earlier.
Tonight's I'm about to jump in the shower now.


How was your Thanksgiving? Did you travel anywhere or did you stay home? I stayed at home, well first I went and got a latte and took Chhaya out for a walk, it was a bit frosty out today. I was thankful that a coffee cart was open today and a barista was working so I could get my daily addiction - a latte. Chhaya was thankful too because the barista gave her a treat.

We ate, I had some mashed potatoes with gravy (I looooove mashed potatoes and yes, I made them from scratch, who doesn't?) and green beans and Chhaya had turkey and ate so much that she fell asleep early, snoring like a piggy. No turkey for me. I'm thankful that I have food to eat.

We have a wood stove now, the smoke coming out of the chimney looked pretty against the sky. I am thankful that I have a comfortable and warm house to live in.

I was going to make some apple pies today (I looooove apple pie) and got apples at Safeway after work early this morning.....but then I realized I didn't have enough butter. So the apple pies will be made another day. Good that I had some cheesecake. And tea. And some new magazines to read. And my baby Chhaya. I am so very thankful for my life.

I'm thankful for a lot and I think about that often.....not only on Thanksgiving. Right now I'm watching Cause For Paws and crying a bit. I wish I could adopt all the pets in need, I hope that those featured on tonight's show will find a good forever home. I have a soft spot for pitbulls though. But it hurt inside when I saw those little Beagles set their paws on grass for the first time ever, how SAD!
And last but not least, I am thankful for YOU.....that you are reading my blog. Even if I don't know you, you know me a bit. Thank You and take care! Kissie pic from last night, my selfie machine is still broken therefore the pic looks like this......XOXO


I don't even know if I have the energy to dip my toes into the mess that is the shooting in Ferguson. From day one I believed that the police officer, Wilson acted in self defense. I never bought into that Brown was the gentle giant that he was portrayed as from many media outlets. Perhaps a gentle giant at home but certainly not out in public. Just look how he acts on that surveillance tape when he threatens the store owner after taking those cigarillos, so he could roll his daily blunts......gentle giant my ass. A good for nothing bully, that is how I look at him.
I am glad the officer got off. I applaud it. I don't want gentle giants like that out and about to disturb my safety and peace. I also think that "Reverend" Al Sharpton is a joke, he is a racist and to me he preaches separation and anger. Can anyone just become a Reverend? Is he really a Reverend, did he get a degree in theology or did he just start calling himself a Reverend one day because he has a way with words and likes to talk? Maybe I should become a Reverend then, I have lots to say and I am certainly not scared to speak my mind. Yes, I am very aware of that Sharpton supposedly preached his first sermon at four years of age. To me that is ridiculous. Throw any kid up on a soapbox, let them speak their mind and then you can call whatever they said a "sermon" or the voice of God. That Obama is even considering hobnobbing with Sharpton and uses him as a White House adviser is baffling. No. I am sure Sharpton has done good for others, I like his views on gays, same sex marriage and animal rights but overall I think he is poisonous. But as we all know, it's totally OK for blacks in this country (USA) to be racist. When a white person says or does anything against a black person there is a public uproar, million man marches and all kinds of drama. It's like a comedy show. Jerry Springer for the masses.
Of course there are bad and corrupt cops. I don't doubt that at all and they should be weeded out and dealt with accordingly. But in this case the officer acted in self defense.
And that is my opinion. Did I go out and burn down the local Walmart to prove my point? No.
As far as the rioting and looting? I say throw everybody that participated in a labor camp Siberian style for about a year and give them crusty bread and water only. Then they will think twice about destroying other people's and public property again. They will regret burning down restaurants and dream of eating that slice of pizza when starving and freezing in the labor camp. The rioting and looting done in Ferguson and other places fueled by the incident in Ferguson is proof of people's low intelligence, thirst for blood and justice that is not right. Mob mentality. Any excuse to go out and act crazy. No education, low intelligence and embarrassing behavior. Lock them up like I said. I have no sympathy for that shit. Burning down buildings and vehicles, acting violent, putting a bounty on Wilson? Who does that? If a white mob would had put a bounty on a black officers head, Sharpton would had organized a million man march the very next day.
I am very curious to know what would had happened if Channon Gail Christian and Hugh Christopher Newsom, Jr would had been black and tortured and murdered by a group of white people. I can guarantee it would had been first page national news for months.
Have you heard about them? What happened to them is sickening. A complete nightmare.
I am 100% certain that they got murdered and tortured only for being white by a gang of black racists, they should had all gotten the death penalty. No need to keep scum like that alive.
And NO......I DO NOT CARE what happened in this country 200 years ago or whenever it was when whites had slaves. I don't care. That is done and over with. Just like many other, MANY other horrific acts in history, past and present. Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the concentration camps (things that some people are actually still alive to talk about), ISIS etc. There are still black slaves in Africa. There you go. Fix that Al Sharpton. Why don't you go and try to talk some sense into Boko Haram, maybe preach them a sermon and see what happens.
Here is what another black Reverend has to say about Ferguson. He gets it.

Pic from today's walk.....a universal language that most people understand.

Communal Vibrator

So we had a communal vibrator at work. I hung it up (of course). It was a little gift, token of appreciation perhaps(?), that I got from Boss Lady after we had our toy party at work almost two years ago now. I was organizing and cleaning out my stuff here recently and found it, never used it. So I brought it to work and hung it up and called it our communal vibrator.
You know us dancers are just sex starved nymphomaniacs, all of us. In between going on stage and doing lap dances, we make out with each other and use play with vibrators. We just can never get enough. That is what people think at least. When reality is far from that but let's pretend otherwise for now......
So the vibrator hung there for a while until it didn't anymore. I noticed that somebody took it down. Who and why? Boss Lady is on vacation, I suspect she took it down and brought it with her. Boss Lady, we want our vibrator back. Thank You!

What else has happened at work? While peeing in the bathroom, Julia (girl I work with) told me, while she was peeing also, that my Lara Croft for Halloween was EPIC. Yes, that is the word she used, EPIC and that she still tells people about it. I heard from a few people that is was really good. WOW, I'm flattered! I felt like a bad ass actually. Funny how something you wear can make you feel.
Saturday night three guys put on a show for us girls, they all stripped. It was really entertaining and quite good actually. One of them had definitely practiced on his Usher moves, or watched Magic Mike on repeat. They kept if fairly tame, the underwear stayed on. Until I got tired of the being shy bullshit and ripped their tighty whities off them. Actually I didn't, I behaved.....this time. Usually I waste no time, get straight down to business and pull down their underwear. Guys want to go on the stage on a regular basis and we get "normal" girls that go up too, we call them civilians. Some get undressed real fast and others tense up and get shy. Everybody handles it differently. But it seems like all of them have lots of fun.
Saturday we had Rihanna videos on all night eyes were glued to the TV. She has been my fave girl for years now. I think a lot of girls are pretty/beautiful but Rihanna......I would marry her, she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Still. I also love Kate Moss, Kate is my fave model. ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡
What is up with all the ass videos and pictures lately? Is there some kind of a celeb ass competition going on? Nikki, J-Lo & Iggy and now Beyonce, the Kim K oiled up pics? I'm not impressed. Jennifer Lopez is gorgeous from head to toe and has a fantastic body (best of all those that I mentioned I think) but that Booty video and the song itself? No, I wanted to hide behind a pillow when I watched that crap. J-Lo does not have to prove anything, she is amazing. Yes, her behind is great, way better than Kim's or Nikki's (BARF), she blows them out of the water in my opinion. And please tell me that she did dumped that joke Casper. OK.....enough of the opinions. I'm going to get ready for bed. That means, wash my face, moisturize face and hands, take out contacts and brush teeth. Or just be lazy and do none of that. I'm sleepy!


Sunday today......that's when I do errands. Like get food, fill up the truck with gas, a visit to PetCo and stuff like that. Got two new pairs of boots today as well. Kamik and Sorel.
Cold weather kind of gear, the Kamik's supposedly keep your feet warm even in -20 F or so cold.

A lot of times I think the selection in the children's section is way cuter than what they have for adults. So I ask to try on the shoes/boots intended for kids and many times they fit. So the Sorel's (the black boots) are a kid size 6. Otherwise I wear size 8 or 9 depending on the make/model shoe or boot. Like all my shoes for work are size 8.
Speaking of work are the FANTASIA 2010-R from Pleaser. Pretty nice I think. Yes? Do I need them?

It's not even 6 pm here and completely dark outside, I'm tired and could probably fall sleep now. Four moths ago it was light until midnight-ish and I would walk Chhaya or go jogging late. Now I'm thinking I need to open up that bottle of vitamins from Floradix that I got a while back. And see if I get lots of energy all of a sudden......because I need it.


I have been feeling crabby since yesterday. On edge. My excuse is, I am on my period OK? I did go to work last night and not even Sharon could cheer me up, well I did laugh a few times but overall I was just not in the best mood. I did not do a single lap dance (I did not even try) but I did OK on stage so it was definitely worth my time. Today I went to the gym for the third time this week, that is very ambitious for me.....I haven't done that in a while. I decided that I need to work on my arms a bit, they look a bit "flabby".....well, to me at least. Actually they look more like long sticks but I want some more definition in them. Or something like that.
At the gym there were a few grunting guys in cutoff shirts (barf), I got annoyed with their loud grunts since I am having a crabby kind of day. Like, make those sounds at home.
They sounded like they were about to give birth or like they were trying to squeeze out a stubborn turd and then they loudly threw the weights around too, I glared at them. My plan was to take a few fun gym pics for today's blog entry but everywhere I went to get some privacy to take some pics some annoying guy had to appear at. Really now? Go grunt in your own corner. Argggghhhhhhh........I was so annoyed, so no gym pics.
After the gym I got some spicy Mexican food and now I am at home, belly full of good food and I'm sipping on some tea, feeling better actually.
I also looked at shoes today.....WOW, Pleaser has some very nice boots on their site, FANTASIA-2010R. I am very tempted to get them.......


I am living out of bins - until further notice. My clothes are back in the closet, well kind of, most of it is packed up in bins. In one of the rooms downstairs I have everything else in bins. Paperwork, books, magazines, toiletries, dishes, camping stuff, all my decorations, everything I do not need or use now is stowed away. STUFF, so much of it! I drove up to Alaska combined with 3 1/2 days on a boat through the inside passage in my 4Runner, all my stuff that I thought I needed on the trip was in that car. The rest stayed in Vegas. Plus I had Chhaya and another person with me on that journey. There is NO way I could cram everything I have accumulated since then in a car. Unless it's a very large vehicle.
Anyhow.....I went through a lot of STUFF the last few days. Took some of it to work last weekend and gave it away, some I am going to put in those clothing containers that are around town, some of it ended up in the garbage.....etc. I have been busy with bins all week. Made mental notes of what I do not need more of, which is pretty much everything. For now that is......And my closet looked really nice before I packed everything away too. But it's OK.....whether I stay here or go somewhere else I am going to have a nice closet again, soon.

It's tea time now. I'm tired and I need to wash my hair.

Spearmint Rhino Carter Lake

So when I was in Omaha Nebraska last month with Mandy, we actually worked in Iowa, in a town called Carter Lake at the Spearmint Rhino. Carter Lake is right by Omaha. She had worked there before so that's where we went after we decided that we did not want to stay in Winner South Dakota.
The Rhino looks just like any other of the Rhino clubs, same decor and carpet basically. Although when most girls (dancers) talk about the Spearmint Rhino most of them think about the Vegas location, employs tons of girls on any given night and open 24/7.
Since every state and town is different, there will be different rules regarding outfits, hours you work, house fees, tip outs etc. At the Carter Lake location you pay a set house fee depending on what day and time you come in plus $5 out of each dance that you do.
Dances are $25 and then there are some "VIP room" options as well with different prices.
I just did the $25 dances. Then you are expected to tip the manager, dj and the bouncer that walks you to the car. Everybody wants money.

There were nightly drink and beer specials and a separate BYOB room with a stage but I was not paying attention to much regarding the specials. The "2 girl shows" that you can see by the Saturday night specials is nothing too pronounced. Random girls would basically do pretend shows with each other on a nightly basis, nothing too crazy. More like close hugging, caressing and doing the 69 with their hair hanging over their faces covering up whatever wasn't going on anyways. I personally think those "shows" are tired and totally played out. Maybe back in the day it was interesting but now its more like embarrassing to watch.
Plus nobody cares anyways, so it's like a waste of energy. Do I do these "shows"? No.

You also have to cover up your nipples with something. There was tape provided in the dressing room or you could use latex or puffy paint. I went to Michaels and got pink puffy paint and silver glitter. I'm not a fan of putting anything on my nipples. It's messy and toxic. Plus it's a boob. Men have nipples too and they can parade around the streets and at beaches/pools without a shirt on and that is NOT considered to be a problem or indecent at all but a woman's breast is all of a sudden this thing that has to stay hidden and covered up.
I don't get it. Plus some guys have bigger boobs than me anyways. Cover those babies up dude!

I thought the club was nice and clean. They would clean the stage several times/night and I like that. The lap dances were done in a lap dance area, in little semi private rooms. This is a topless only club. I didn't see anything too crazy going on but then again you can't really see what the other girls are doing during the dances since you are busy dancing yourself.
The touching is a bit too much for my taste but you just tell the guys your boundaries and they listen. If they whine and complain then I won't dance for them, simple.....problem solved and NEXT!
You have to participate in lap dance specials that they would do several times/night.
Basically all the girls have to squeeze together on stage and walk around in a circle and then you have to give a 2 for 1 dance. They keep the songs rather short for that. Kind of lame and makes you feel like you are a slave being auctioned off at some market but most of the time you would get a dance or a few out of it. Some guys would sit there and wait for the 2 for 1, of course.
The lights on the stages are AWFUL. Just awful. Somebody needs to sit down and work on that issue. I think I'd rather dance in daylight than to the lights they have in that club. What is up with clubs not understanding how important the lighting is in a strip club? It's crucial. Seriously.
It is also very cold in the club. I renamed the lap dance area "the icebox" - freezing.
The dj's played outdated and just cringeworthy music. I told them what music I liked and one of them looked at me and told me that they cater to "50 year old white men". OK. And then they would play me some bad R&B and shit like that. I think 50 year old white men much rather hear some ZZ Top or old rock (me too) than some bad R&B. Plus I do not want to hear R&B when I'm on stage, or Pony by Ginuwine (really now, what do I look like, Channing Tatum?), or any Michael Jackson. They also played Vanilla Ice and outdated new jack swing. BARF!!!! I mean.....come on now!. The dj's need some serious assistance in that club.
The dressing room is large and there is a tanning bed for the girls to use free of charge if they wish. Hmmmmm.......what else. Everybody was nice and the girls were OK. Some not so cute but there were a few really pretty ones that stood out. There is a kitchen so you can order food, I can recommend the fries, Mandy really likes those fries. Overall I though it was an OK club.
They also have this information hanging in the dressing room. I remember a few months ago (like April or May) some person/s started commenting in my blog and wanting to discuss random stuff regarding prostitution. I am not worried about prostitution since that is something I would never consider but what I was saying is that I recall girls getting in trouble sometimes in Vegas for even sitting on peoples laps when VICE would be in the club. So girls would just avoid doing lap dances until VICE left (if it was clear that they were in the club) to avoid getting in trouble. Maybe this will clarify some stuff to that besserwisser that was arguing with me regarding the ins and outs of prostitution and the law. Like I said, since I have no plans of prostituting myself those laws are not concerning me too much. But as you can see, you can get in some serious trouble even for even saying the "wrong" thing. Good that I don't say those things. I like to talk about other fun stuff like politics and pinworms, I hope those topics are considered "safe".

Being Boring

I'm just being boring and feeling boring right now. It's kind of dreary out, no sun just gray but at least there is no snow. Some places in the country have severe weather and waist deep snow right now and here it's rather mild actually. Most people think that all of Alaska is just a frozen ice block, that we live in igloos and co exist with polar bears. No. That's more up north, keep in mind that Alaska is the largest state in the US. Where I live on the Kenai Peninsula there are no polar bears and I live in a house mainly made out of wood. I have never seen an igloo in real life. The closet to an igloo would be when I make snölyktor from snow. Kind of like a snow lantern.
What am I doing today? I'm thinking about paying the gym a visit to get sweaty and move my flab around. Then I need to tackle my box situation at home. Right now 80% of my stuff is in boxes since I almost moved a few days ago. A decision I'm still second guessing. I think I have a difficult time tackling things that give my anxiety, like a move. It's easier just not to deal with it. And that's exactly what I did. For now. I need a personal coach to crack the whip over my head when I get emotional and irrational.
Then I'm thinking about what I am going to do for my annual Christmas cards this year.
Me and Chhaya, it's my Christmas tradition. I have an idea, if the weather permits.....
So, last night I came across some news from Sweden about four women that arrived there as refugees from Syria together with their sick Father. The four women are complaining that they do not like the apartment that the Swedish government set them up in and that the tax payers are funding. The tax payers also paid for the furniture in that place and the food these people eat. Since those people have no income to speak of. They are not happy with the beds, it's cold and then there is the fact that there is no elevator. Their Father is sick and bedridden and currently getting care in a hospital. The reason they did not get an apartment with elevator access is because the information about the sick Father was last minute and there is also a shortage of places to live in Sweden. People have to wait for a long time to be able to secure an apartment sometimes. I have a friend that broke up with her ex about two years ago but she is still sleeping on the couch in the living room in the apartment they share because she can't find a place of her own. My brother lives in a one bedroom apartment in a suburb outside of Stockholm, he sleeps in the living room and rents out the other bedroom to somebody. If I would to move back to Sweden I would have to live with my Mom or a friend unless I would have the money to buy my own place or be willing to live in Norrland. Well, I'm a Stockholm kind of girl. These four women are now threatening to leave Sweden if nothing changes. Really? My suggestion is.....GET THE FUCK OUT! Maybe go back to where you came from. Or try to go somewhere else (another country) with a list of demands for your comfort and see how well it goes. Nobody will miss you in Sweden, I promise. This is so typical Sweden, I just feel like DARE you? If you don't like it, LEAVE! Actually, don't even bother arriving in the first place. I do feel bad for their elderly Father that is sick and bedridden but hey, I'm sure he is getting way better care in Sweden than he did in Syria. Do I feel bad for the four able bodied women? Not at all, shut the fuck up bitches and GO TO WORK. I'm sure McDonald's is hiring, learn the Swedish language and contribute to society before you start demanding free shit form the government. I'm glad I don't live in Sweden because I would had been PISSED OFF at the situation there and LOUDLY stated my opinions. This is not an isolated incident, this shit happens all the time. The Swedes are too nice.
I found a pic of me on Facebook from Burning Man, some photographer took it when I having a great time at the Steampunk Saloon. That will do as the Tatiana pic of the day! ;-)