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I'm packing for Burning Man tonight! I have two boxes of KIND bars. Belts. Sunglasses.
My goggles from last year. Bandanas. My new Fjällräven Kånken backpack (a Swedish classic). Two pairs of fringe boots that have been waiting for the occasion. Lights to put on my bike and on myself so I'm visible on the Playa at night. I'm not done with the packing yet, I have to take a shower and wash my hair and the toiletries go in last. I got a new memory card in my camera and I'm planning on taking lots of pics. As always I'm packing more than I will use.
Oh well. I'm not bringing my laptop......there will be no blogging from Burning Man.
Most likely a short entry tomorrow at some point and then I will be busy until I leave the event. I just read some reports that it's been raining hard in the area of the event and people have been turned away at the gate because the road is mucky mud and not safe for driving.
It looks like the weather will be better tomorrow. Wow......I sure hope so.


Sorry my friends that I've been low on the blogging this week. Life has been hectic, I can feel the tension in my shoulders and my neck and I rarely do......I need a massage from the only woman I fantasize about, my massage lady in Las Vegas - Cathy. She is amazing.
The other day a friend came over to my house with a delivery of these super cute and very delicious cupcakes and donuts from a new cupcake place in Kenai called Iced and Sliced.
Very very yummy cupcakes and the donuts were actually mouth watering good.

I've had a rather crazy night last night. Not fun at all. I can say this, alcohol is a very destructive and evil vice. A bit too much of that and a good time can quickly turn into a very bad time, even a tragic time. I am so tired of people that drink too much and that can't behave themselves normally when intoxicated. I think that my home from now on will be a sober only home. Anybody that wants to drink can do so somewhere else, there are plenty of bars to get hammered at in town, my home is not a local bar. I've had enough. I want my home to be.....serene.
Or like this one guy that is opening up a completely sober nightclub in Stockholm, Sweden of all places, imagine that. The clubs name? SOBER. I love it, I would definitely go. Here is some of what he (Mårten) had to say, "Swedes need to wake up and stop glorifying booze in the way we do. Life is too short for us to be wasted all the time. I want to inspire people and show them that you can have a bloody great time without alcohol. I want to offer an alternative to just getting hammered. Yeah, I’ve had enough. I've been sober for six months. It’s great—I’ve never felt better. I’m so much calmer these days. I feel better, I look better, and my self-esteem has never been this high. I’m proud of myself in a way I’ve never been before."
I need a nap if I am going to make it to work tired.

The Joy Of Giving

I am a total giver.....if I might say that about myself. I love surprising people with gifts, cards, something small but thoughtful, to show that I care and remember whomever it is that I am giving something to. It doesn't have to be a birthday, the occasion can be Just Because.
The joy of giving is the joy you feel in your heart when you know that you might be putting a smile on somebody's face and give them a good feeling inside. It's enriching for my soul to give. Of course I like receiving too (who doesn't) but giving really makes me feel good.
A friend's birthday is coming up, a very dear friend. She lives in Sweden. I miss her so much. In fact I miss all my friends in Sweden so very very much. Especially tonight. I'm going through a difficult time right now, something happened but I don't want to write about it yet (or ever). I'm unharmed physically but my heart hurts and I feel helpless, very sad and very lonely. I feel like I only have Chhaya here, my TRUE friend. I hope everything will be OK soon, it must be.
Tomorrow I might go to the post office and send this. The girl working at Northcountry Fair wrapped the stuff I got there so nicely. It looks beautiful!

I hope all of you are OK and happy out there, wherever you might be.

Animal Sanctuary

Me and Boss Lady don't see eye to eye on a few things (related to work) but when it comes to animals she has her heart in the right place. She has three very loved and spoiled dogs of her own and we both agree on that dogs should be loved and spoiled. Unfortunately not everybody agrees. A large amount of dogs recently got rescued here and found a new home at Alaska’s Extended Life Animal Sanctuary in Nikiski.
Here is some of what was said in the Peninsula Clarion last week about the rescue.
"With bellies still swollen from a lack of food, 35 dogs are on their way to recovery after being rescued Monday. The dogs had been housed in a 10--by-20-foot room and most of the animals likely had never been outside. The crew lined up kennels and loaded the dogs with little hassle and the owners were grateful for the help. “They were doing the best they could,” Whipp said about the owners, who willingly surrendered the animals. Of the 35 dogs — primarily a mix of miniature huskies and border collies — nine are four weeks old, 11 are 1-week-old puppies and two of the dogs are pregnant."
Boss Lady read the article and had a small fund raiser at work Thursday night. Boss Lady is a natural at getting money, she is a better hustler than a persistent gypsy at the market in Istanbul. In no time she had collected $300 and that was on a slow night too. She wrote a check and asked me if I could make a trip out to Nikiski the following day to deliver it.
Of course I could! Boss Lady knows how I feel about animals.

I met the two people running the sanctuary - Sue and Tim, very nice people. They appreciated the check and the treats that I brought along and got very happy when I told them where the money came from. I was there for a while talking to them and petting the dogs. They told me that there is a lot of animal abuse and neglect in this state. As well as rape and child abuse and neglect (that was also discussed amongst us). For the state with the least population the numbers are very high when it comes to violent and cruel acts against women, children and animals, pretty disturbing. That people think it's normal, don't know any better or "were doing the best they could" is something that I don't buy. I am more realistic in my approach to certain situations. You know damn well if you abuse or neglect an animal or a child and IF for some reason you don't, then you should not be allowed to breed your off spring (mandatory sterilization) or have the privilege of being a pet owner. I'm tired of inexcusable behaviors getting excused time after time. And don't fucking breed your pets! Your dog is not some kind of a money making machine for your greedy ass. Have you stopped and worried about what happens to those puppies or kittens that get sold on Craigslist, do you even care? Selfish assholes.
I am going to suggest to Boss Lady that we have a few more fund raisers for the animal sanctuary, they are in need. Here are some pics of the dogs that were rescued.....all of them very sweet.

Then there was this boy that just wanted to be close to me and give me kisses. His "owner" had shot him in the leg and just left him. That exact treatment should be bestowed upon whoever did this to that dog. Well, he was happy when I saw him, wagging his tail and smiling. He has a rod in his hip that will be taken out and he should be good.

A statement I very much agree with. I actually think that people that have kids and can't take care of them for whatever reason, neglect them or abuse them should be sterilized.
That should be the law. Don't make babies until you know that you can be there for them in every possible way. Until then, keep your legs closed, your dick in your pants, use protection or have an abortion - you have options.

I felt a bit sad when I left the animal sanctuary......Chhaya next to me in the car as we drove off. I need to pay that place another visit at some point. And while browsing the Peninsula Clarion tonight I came across this article that I agree with.

There is a mention in it about the Kenai Peninsula being the armpit of Alaska and I have myself thought that on a few occasions. I have seen some very questionable examples of parents here. Drinking is out of control. Drugs. People are throwing their trash all over.
All that bad stuff, it's like a very trashy episode of Jerry Springer. Of course not everybody is like this but many are, too many. GROW UP and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your actions!
And step up those parenting skills.

Fun Night

I'm tired......long day. Productive day, good! Earlier when I had energy I thought I would actually make it to work tonight but no. I'm actually really tired. I had an OK Friday night and a good Saturday night, a fun night too - so I'm happy and content.
Let's see, a very annoying man offered to put me up in a condo in Anchorage, no more work for me he promised.....oh let me not forget....a very annoying married man. He came in Friday and Saturday, I finally had to run away from him. No thanks. You are annoying AND married, I'm not interested in either.
Then some guy thought he was going to be deep and different with me and told me to just lose all the stripper know the façade, the "everything" and just be REAL. Hmmmmm........actually I AM real. I don't play any stupid games at work or outside of work, no weird and fake personality, you just don't know me and you won't ever know me because people like that, that assume they are coming with a different approach when in fact I have heard it before and it's also not true when it comes to me, well I don't have patience for that.
I just walk away. Then he yelled after me, "I'm not going to give you any money." Newsflash, I didn't even ask you for any money and you came up to ME.....NOT the other way around. Later he tried to apologize, I ignored him, I am very good at that.
One of my loudest, prettiest and most fun "fans" came in. Her name is Sarah and she lives in Anchorage, for some reason she really likes me and every so often she will come here and visit me. She very loudly compliments me when I'm on stage and is rather generous, we exchanged numbers last night and she wants me to come and work at The Bush Company so she can see me there. Maybe, I have entertained the thought. The only thing stopping me is that I don't want to be in any club at 4 pm.....until 2 am, later on weekends. Grueling. But I might be able to deal with it for two weeks.
Oh, so I collect compliments. The usual ones.....pretty, beautiful. gorgeous, nice hair, nice this.....nice that, well we have all heard it all before. It goes in one ear and out the other.
I think every girl gets those, depending on the intention of the person giving the compliment, so I don't really take it seriously. But I got a good one last night. A couple was in and after my stage their friend came up and wondered, "what it would take for his buddy and his lady to get entertained by my perfection". Awwwww, how sweet!
Friday night a guy decided that I was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, now come on! It's not that dark in the club! He needs to travel the world or at least leave the state......I did blush a little though. EVER? Wow.

Essie Nail Polish

Today I had a pedicure. After searching desperately for at least a decent pedicure in this village I finally settled for Tina at Nail Boutique in Kenai. I've had some nightmare pedicures in Alaska, the standard of service that I am accustomed to and expect is sometimes lackluster here, in many areas. The worst pedi ever in the history of BAD pedicures for me happened at Allure Spa in Anchorage. Anyhow, Tina is OK. If I am going to spend money on a pedicure around here it will be with her only.
I dream of the pedicures I have read about, with a true pedicure master like Bastien Gonzalez, frequently hailed as the world's best pedicurist. An appointment with him lasts as long as it takes and the wealthy send their private jets to pick him up. Or maybe one day I will be able to visit Samuel So at the Mandarin Oriental in Hong Kong, the resident foot master. After a long soak he goes to work on your feet. "The result: feet so smooth that it feels sacrilegious to walk on them" according to an article I read. Another place not as far away is Jin Soon Chi's salon in New York, where your feet get an essential oil foot bath and the option to be coated in a thick layer of volcanic clay. THAT is the kind of pedicure I want. Not just somebody that haplessly cuts a few cuticles and slaps on some nail polish and then wants $40 for it. There is an art to the craft after all.
I hope you will enjoy my artsy sparkly heels and ESSIE nail polish pictures. I got creative just for you!

At Nail Boutique in Kenai......not Bastien Gonzalez but better than some other places around here.......I have decided.


I worked last night and scraped together $56 but I'm still happy. Mandy thinks that I am wasting my time and getting the life sucked out of me, I KNOW and I agree but I can't possibly travel all the time, I just can't. I have Chhaya. Half of the time I go into work here it's a waste of my time and it's also so completely unmotivating that I don't even try to make money. Because there is nobody to make it from or the way some girls make their money is just not how I make money. But I am not going to live off my savings. Although it's a waste of my time I usually have FUN.
Have you ever seen a strip club mistletoe? We have's a pair of panties and a tampon. And no, I did not hang it there, although that is my kind of humor......and no, it's not a used tampon. We are a classy place after all! :-D

Would you like to make a NEW BREAST FRIEND? Instead of a best friend you can make a breast friend!

Talking on the couch with my friend Grady, he comes in almost every night to say HI, he is part of the furniture in the place.

I'm thinking tonight can't get any worse that $56 so I'm going to give it a try again.

Fallen Leaf

I got a strong craving for huevos rancheros this afternoon, so I stopped by Maria's where they make a very spicy huevos dish with lots of jalapenos and green hot salsa, very good. Then I went home, skipped the gym and thought I would go running instead but it just started raining. A real downpour, a repeat from yesterday......I was out walking with Chhaya and the sun was shining and then all of a sudden the sky opened up and it started raining hard.

Earlier today I saw a fallen leaf.....then I spotted some more. Is fall creeping up on us? Already? To fast, to soon.

It looks like the rain is about to stop, I need to take Chhaya out and perhaps I will squeeze in a 30 minute run before work tonight.

Panic Button

I dragged my unmotivated and lazy self to the gym yesterday, it had been a while. There was a new feature added at the gym, on one wall there are a few panic buttons hanging now that you can use if you feel it's needed. You know, these panic buttons are for when Justin Bieber or Bradley Cooper and other incredible hot men decide to visit Kenai and work out at the gym here. Girls and women turn into screaming banshees when we see hotness like that and can't contain ourselves. Justin would definitely need a panic button and from the looks of it, he has been living at the gym lately.....looking good Justin! Although I find Bradley much more SEKSI.
Since the gym is now open 24/7 and not staffed after a certain hour they added the panic buttons. And in case anyone missed the joke/sarcasm earlier......duh.....these panic buttons are there for women. Yep. You don't have to be a whorish porn star (see my previous entry if you don't understand what I mean by this statement) or stripper that's asking for it, to feel safer with a panic button at the gym. Cause let me tell you.....I don't see many strippers and porn stars working out at the gym here, we're not in Vegas after all. Nope, just normal women. Normal women that might possibly encounter some sort of an altercation at the gym, hence the panic buttons. For some strange reason I don't see a woman deciding to pounce on some sweaty guy lifting weights at the gym, rip his clothes of and rape him, no I can't picture that.....unless it's Bradley Cooper.
So to all the morons out there saying that women get what they deserve if they get abused by a husband or boyfriend because he was provoked in some kind of way, let me have a few minutes with you. I will feel provoked to slap you around Polish style with a piping hot frying pan and send you on your way, hopefully a little less moronic than you were to begin with.
So women that get raped by a complete stranger deserve it too, right? Whatever. It's time for me to get up and go get my latte now......Maybe gym again later?

Ice Cream

After way too many errands in the afternoon, all I wanted was to come home to my book and some ice cream. I have a new fave flavor since a few months. I used to get a pomegranate ice cream at Whole Foods in Vegas that I absolutely loved, this one is not too bad either.
Thought I would work tonight, planned on it but when 7 pm came I felt tired, unmotivated and somewhat sad. I think I have a slight bout of PMS going on right now. I don't want to do anything and I miss Sweden and my friends SO much! And Chhaya is going bonkers as well. Last night she really scared me.....around 3 am or so she started whining and panting. First I thought she was sick, then I took her out twice and both times she stared off into the trees around the house with her heckles raised. I was convinced that some weirdo was lurking in the forest so I went outside with a flashlight but didn't see anything. Chhaya would not stop acting weird so I was scared and slept with my gun close to me. Then tonight when it got dark she got weird again. Well, I now suspect that it's probably her hormones. She will have her heat soon, that's what it is. Chhaya wants to run away and mate. Not happening.

So......back to the porn star drama surrounding Christy Mack and the severe beating that she most likely got from her ex or current boyfriend War Machine (innocent until proven guilty) that as I'm writing this is still on the run from the police, arrest warrant has been issued.
So, there are some inconsistencies to the story. Like why would she put up pics of them together looking in love on her Instagram when now in fact she claims he broke up with her back in May? Then other reports say she broke it off with him. He put on Twitter that he came over to surprise her with an engagement ring and there was another man in her house.
A surprise at 4 am? Well, it's Vegas after all, I would go grocery shopping at 4 am in Vegas, so why not surprise somebody with a proposal at that time? But then who proposes if you are broken up? And where is that other person (some reports say there was one guy in the house with Christy other reports say two) who got beat up also, some guy? How come he is not saying anything (yet)? Did they call the police as soon as the first person got hit by War Machine or did the police get notified after Christy supposedly ran and got help from a neighbor? But I am sure I did stuff in my prior relationships that made NO SENSE whatsoever to bystanders. Sometimes you say stuff and act crazy, in the moment. Looking back now, I know it didn't make any sense but it did then. HOWEVER, Christy got SEVERELY beaten.....
I can't even imagine getting that kind of treatment. Many broken bones, teeth missing, hair chopped off, ruptured liver from punches or kicks, bruises. He could had killed her. And what REALLY upsets me are the complete MORONS chiming in on this. Oh, that's what you get if you do porn, would had never happened if she was an accountant, the whore deserved it etc etc, nasty comments like that. Really now???!
If I am not mistaken the majority of women in the US that get beaten and murdered get beaten and murdered by either a current significant other, meaning husband or boyfriend or an ex husband or boyfriend. Many women and children live in fear of domestic abuse, physical and mental on a daily basis. Yes. How many of those women are porn stars that deserve that kind of treatment cause they are whores anyways? Not many I can say with certainty. Most of them are probably regular girls and women. Not that a woman in the sex industry deserves this, ABSOLUTELY NOT. That would be like somebody saying I deserve to get murdered or beaten cause I am a dancer. You can do porn, be a dancer (stripper), live in a trailer, be a homeless bum, shoot heroin and guess what......BE A GOOD and KIND HUMAN BEING! That is all that matters!!!! You can also be highly educated, live a certain lifestyle, have a "good" job and be a complete evil asshole. Christy did not deserve this at all. I wish somebody would start this discussion with me in real life, about that "whores" deserve this.
I would rip them a new asshole real quick. And what's a whore anyways? What about the men that pay for sex or watch porn? How are they better than the women that do porn or sell their bodies? I know exactly what I do for a living but let me tell you, I have more class, poise and intelligence than many of the people I encounter, the same people that talk bad about me behind my back when they don't even know me. Yeah, I think I know who you are. SAY IT TO MY FACE IF YOU DARE BITCH (and that goes for men and women). People with too many stereotypes that they blindly believe in are just too narrow minded for me. Before you talk about me and my scandalous ways, look at your own lousy and trashy behavior, doing stuff I would never do. WHY? Because I am too good and too everything that you aren't. I love myself actually.
Now that I've said all of that, I'm going to read my book some more. I hope Christy is going to recover soon.