Welcome to Chaos !!

I had such a nice day today, canoeing on a lake. A beautiful sunny day.....July is almost over and I can feel a slight panic in my chest as I'm sitting here writing this. The summer is more than halfway over.....I got that summertime sadness coming over me. I don't want this to end.
Chhaya is the best puppy ever......I know, I know, I said it more than a hundred times by now probably. Funny, fearless, curios, always willing to do whatever, lots of personality. I could not wish for a better companion. I feel so lucky, blessed and grateful for today!
Thank You Universe for my life. ❤













Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That, baby, you're the best
I got that summertime, summertime sadness........

Here is last nights list of the rotation. The funny thing is that I KNEW I was going to be number eleven on that list, I felt it on my drive into work. And it happened. I was very pleased with the eleven spot, since it is my favorite number. Actually lately, I feel something and just that thing happens. I guess that it was they call intuition. It's somewhat strange to have that ability, to know certain things will happen before they do......and I don't always listen to my intuition.
I wish that I paid attention to it more though. I have made too many mistakes regarding people in my life.



The hammer? That's my new prop. If you don't tip me enough on stage or get a lap dance when I demand that you get one, I'll give you a good whack on the head with it.
Sometimes men need that extra bit of assistance to get things done and understand......and a good whack on the head with a hammer usually does the trick. Trust me, you don't want to be my boyfriend......I utilize violence instead of communication. Who has time for communication? Not me. I'm very impatient and like to get my point across.
Also, some chick that I work with (bleh) is walking around with ping pong balls in her purse. Like I said the other day, some dancers carry all kinds of weird stuff in their purses.
They should be featured in one of those gossip magazines that has a small article with some random female celebrity, they show their purse and the contents in it. Ping pong balls?
Last time I checked this was the US, not Bangkok Thailand.
I worked with a very funny girl a while back, Mo (aka Mo Mo). She would squeeze out small plastic eggs from her VAGINE and also give the word light show a whole new meaning.
Yeah, she would stuff a light in there too. Although me and Mo didn't always see eye to eye about certain things, I really did like her. She was HILARIOUS and witty, plus those plastic eggs and that light show would make even the most dull night at work become a fun one. I miss Mo. She made me laugh. Tatiana & Mo Mo a few years ago.





Also last night me and Roxy shared a few good laughs in the dressing room. Her feet ached so she put on her regular shoes to see if that would work, to get a dance. Since wearing her Stardust Platforms (we both have those) didn't do the trick at all last night, we were kind of slow last night.......but no. Even wearing a sexy pair of Liz Clairbone sandals didn't do it. Like I said, whack them on the head with a hammer.



The last two nights I've been getting an unusual amount of compliments, maybe the guys are slightly tired from all the fishing or are wearing an extra strong pair of beer goggles, I'm not sure what it is. But two old guys Friday night said they've been coming here for 21 years and I was the best looking girl they have seen in the club. Then last night some guy (in a group of three) declared that I was one of the prettiest girls he has ever seen in a strip club and he claimed to have been to A LOT of clubs and seen many dancers. I made him repeat this to Cricket because I am demanding a raise after these grand statements. Instead of making 25 cents an hour I now want 50. Starting Monday. I am tired of being underpaid and under appreciated.
Then some other guy, while I was standing with two of my co workers (so they heard it also) said that I am only becoming better looking every year. I told him my secret is lots of plastic surgery and cocaine. These guys have never seen me in the daytime, it's amazing what some fake lashes, a pretty bra and cute panties do to ones looks. Try it, it might work for you too! Do you think I'm tooting my own horn a bit too much for your own taste? Get used to it (if you are going to read my blog) I am full of myself (duh......you would be too if you were me) and I toot my own horn the loudest. Not always though. I have the ability to be very humble too.
I like it when other people are around when I get comments/compliments like these......then I have proof that I am not making stuff up. I don't have to make stuff up.
With that being said, being thought of as pretty/beautiful and wearing a nice sparkly bra and a brand new pair of Honey Dew's still doesn't make one have the most dances every night (at the club HERE, although it does work in other places for some strange reason).
Looks combined with personality don't matter too much here. What you need here is an outfit that looks dingy and dirty, with holes in it and that has been worn for three years in a row. Doing weird stuff during lap dances also works very well here. I don't give penis exams, I thought only the hookers at the brothels in Nevada were required to do so by law and gynecologists. I'm neither. I'm just pretty. LOL.
It's nice and sunny out. I might have to take advantage of this beautiful day. Check back another time for more of my amazing writing.......!

I am not done with my Kodiak adventure here in the blog yet, I still have some more to share with you. Lucky you! Lap it up, I know some of you are so very thirsty to find out every detail you can about my time there (this is directed to all the dancers that read my blog but never have anything to say about it). Hi ladies, continue reading.......!
So all dancers stayed on the boat (when I was there). I did check prices with Best Western out of curiosity, it's rather steep but they are pet friendly. In case I would go back and bring Chhaya, she can't stay on the boat. That staircase is way too steep for a dog her size and then she needs to be able to relieve herself on a regular basis. Housing in Kodiak is pricey in general and they seem to have a shortage of places to stay. Kind of like Williston. The rooms where we slept were small but I had all I needed. Basically a bed, that was very comfortable by the way. Plenty of covers to keep me warm and pillows. And a place to put my stuff. I like sleeping on boats in general, it's cozy with the waves and all. I felt safe on the boat too, never had a moment of feeling scared.



I got a text message from somebody I know saying that a friend of hers is going to work on the boat and would like to know where I kept my money. Well, I kept my money in a lock box that was attached to a rope and a weight, I would drop down my loot into the ocean every night. My money was safe with the fishes. I also made regular deposits into my Swiss bank account, by the assistance of my personal accountant and banker residing in London. I mean what serious business minded dancer does not have an off shore bank account? Although I am considering switching mine over from Switzerland to Qatar.....another great tip from me to you! Some of the girls kept their money permanently attached to their thigh in a garter belt. Not for me. I don't care for that look at work.
Those garter belts (especially the larger frilly kind) remind me of some old cowboy movie with a foul mouthed hooker in a brothel, with a cigarette permanently dangling from her lip, snapping her garter. I only wear a garter belt at work if that is a rule and I absolutely have too. But my money stays in my purse. Some very observant man with a sense of style that was on the boat one evening said that the practice of keeping a wad of money in your garter belt looks tacky, I absolutely agree.
It's also totally outdated. Just like neon green thongs that you hike high over your hips and that too bleached crispy big 80's rocker hairdo. A cute and/or discreet purse is the way to go or keeping the money in your locker (if you have one that you can lock). And do not shlep around a large bag, I see dancers carrying large handbags around. Really now......! What's in there? Your Summer's Eve, a sewing kit, a taser, an extra pair of thongs and some spare shoes?
That large handbag dangling off the arm just looks awful! Reminds me of a scene out of Cops when they zoom in on the working girls on the corner.
Another place you can keep your big bills you earn at the boat is in the toilet tank, nobody will look there. Tatiana knows all the great spots for hiding money. Be grateful and happy I am so willingly sharing my secrets with you. Also popular by dancers for money transactions - PayPal and those Square credit card readers. Another question I am getting and that I know I will be getting now that I am writing about dancing in Kodiak is, how was the money? Well, it was good but not fantastic. I had a few bad nights. I never lie about my income, even if it's shitty. And I never exaggerate my income to boost a low self esteem (not that I have a low self esteem, quite the opposite). My self worth and confidence has nothing to do with the money I make. I did better in Williston (keep in mind that that was over two years ago now) actually but I had to spend more money on getting to Williston from Kenai. So if you live somewhere close to North Dakota it might be better for you economically to go to Williston to try your luck or to some other club/s in the country, there are plenty of spots to choose from. I am keeping in touch with the girls on the boat, so I know about the money. If you expect something amazing, pray for luck and great timing when you are out there. Sometimes that is all it takes, to get lucky. Unless you are a hooker and make your money that way, then you don't need luck. I know girls that still make $ 500 - 800 plus in Vegas several times/week. Because it's Vegas in a busy club.
You don't need luck there, you just need to be motivated and go to work. It also helps if you look good. Or just be one of those dirty dancers (works everywhere) but that does not apply to me, I never resort to those gross practices. I'm way too good for that. Call me a stuck up bitch if you want, I'm used to it. I'd rather be perceived as a stuck up unattainable bitch (by the people that don't know me) than resort to some of the things I have seen go on in some strip clubs. If I was going to do stuff like that I would be a high class escort making the big bucks. Thank you very much. I am very well aware of my options and my potential.......
One afternoon tanning on the deck. The big boat in the background is the M/V Tustumena ferry that I took from Homer to Kodiak and back a few years ago.



Beautiful view of Kodiak. On a nice day that place is magical.

I was gone for a few days in case anyone noticed......or missed me.
I went camping but I'm back now - alive. Mandy told me before I left to have fun and not to get eaten by a bear. I made it back alive. I saw only birds, a porcupine and some white mountain goats or sheep. I went camping at Cooper Lake. At a place where you have to either fly into or take some form of a motorized vessel. Absolutely gorgeous! Nobody around, just water, tall mountains and trees with the wind rustling through them.
First I packed and brought the essentials, Chhaya, my gun, bear spray, reading material and toilet paper. What else do you need? A man too perhaps? To do all the heavy work while I work on my eyebrows?



If I was ever stranded on a deserted island I would need a tweezer, cue tips and a comb. That's all I need as far as personal items go. I have been wanting to share this fact for a long time with my readers and I'm glad I was finally able to!



Some scenic pics and Chhaya in her life jacket. The water here is so cold that you better make sure you wear a life jacket in case you would be unlucky and fall in. This is not Florida!
Glacier water here in Alaska, freezing. If you look you can spot my canoe and my tent in the pics.











My food when camping consists of fruit, yam, corn, chips and juice. I love yams when camping.....yuuuuuum. And Chhaya loves yams too, in fact when camping she wants to taste everything that I eat. And she wears herself out and enjoys napping in the sun, soaking it up like a lizard.







Well, I'm safely back at my comfortable house in Kenai. Now I need to wash the camping grime off me and brush my teeth thoroughly, I brush them when camping but it's not the same as at home. Maybe a moisturizing honey mask on my face too?

I did not have time to open up my laptop all day yesterday. I had people over Friday night and we stayed up around the fire until about 2 am.....then I was busy all day yesterday with stuff and then I actually went to work too. I just got home from work, washed my face.....it's 5 16 am.
So rules.....I love rules at work as long as they're not silly. Like you can't wear black, you have to have your make up done by the in house "make up artist" so you end up looking like a drag queen, or you can't wear shoes without an ankle strap (a problem I encountered at a club in NYC) and stuff like that. I'm talking about rules regarding how to conduct yourself. The clearer and stricter the rules and the more they are actually enforced the better I usually do better, because I never ever compete with any nasty stuff that goes on (doesn't happen in all strip clubs but yes it does happen in some). I don't even think that using the word compete is right. It's not about "competition", I don't have to compete and I won't and I don't do anything wrong or yucky. I like to feel good about myself when I wake up.
The place I worked at in Kodiak had rules. They owners told me that their plan is to run a classy place and build up a good reputation (usually a smart way to run an adult oriented business in a small town). I am all for classy and clean. Hands to the side during lap dances, that worked well. I had no problems whatsoever with anyone trying to grab me and I did not see any of the other girls allow touching. Sure a hug but no groping whatsoever.
We did have an issue the first couple of nights with people having their phones out, trying to and actually taking pics. I did see that some pictures got taken of the girls and one guy tried to be sneaky and film me while I was on stage and then tried to deny that he did it when I confronted him about it. Well, he did film and it got taken care of. Look, do not take pictures or video of the dancers, just don't. I have a ton of pics of myself from work and in all kinds of environments in the blog but those are pics that I post myself, hence I am consenting to the pics plus if I took the pic of myself it belongs to me. Copyright you know, it clearly states that at the blogs start page. Any other pics of me taken by a photographer belongs to either me and/or the photographer depending on our agreement.
When people I don't know take pics of me, I also do not know or have any control over where the pic might end up and in what context and I'm not OK with that. Some girls keep the fact that they are doing this line of work a secret from family and friends for whatever reasons, so for them it is very important that no pictures of them at work appear anywhere. This has to be respected and most clubs take the no pictures very seriously. You might get asked to leave and in a not so friendly way either. It took a few days and us girls pressing the issue to get this point across but it worked.





No illegal drugs. I absolutely agree. I am for the legalization of all drugs actually. But you do them at your spare time. I have done drugs but never at work. I am at work to work and I feel that I need to be in control of the situation, plus why would I waste my fun drug moments (that does not happen often) at work when I could be somewhere else dancing to great music or staring at the stars and communicating with nature? I do not want to work with girls that are high and act crazy due to drug use. It's one thing if they smoke weed (I don't) but when you work with people that abuse stuff like meth, then you are asking for trouble. Sure, some people are really good at hiding their drug use but others.....not so much. And when it starts to show in your appearance and in your twitching face, well then it's just bad. And it also looks really bad to have girls like that working in a club, especially if you want to be considered a nice place. So yes, drug test all you want. It's a great way to keep the every day habitual druggies away. I don't care if you do drugs, just don't do them at work.

So if you have been reading my blog for a while you know that when I travel I use my platforms as a prop in pics I take. I got a few good ones I think (with the Las Vegas sign, on the subway in NYC, the Williston sign, empty road etc). So of course I did the same when I was in Kodiak. Here they are with the Welcome To Kodiak sign.



I was hoping to be alone when I took the pic with the shoes dangling from the St. Herman Harbor sign because I don't want to draw unneccesary and unwanted attention to me when I'm out and about in the daytime. I am not ashamed over the fact that I'm a dancer (I prefer the word dancer when referring to what I do, although stripper is widely used) at all since I am not doing anything wrong. Wrong is being a scum like a child molester, rapist, animal abuser, serial killer etc and those kind of losers come from all walks of life, even from the best families and from the best schools. I support myself in an honest way plus I'm not hurting anyone. Well, there was a guy filleting his fish close by when I took this pic. I tried to wait him out but after 15 minutes of waiting I had to get going so I just went ahead. "Nice catch" he blurted out. Then when I was walking away some girl sitting in a car (I didn't see her) told me that it was a cute photo idea. I think so too.
Why do I not want unwanted attention? Well, I do my thing at work. But during the day I am a "normal" person that is going on with my day just like everybody else. I don't thrive on male attention during the day, neither do I want it. Plus not everybody wants to get subjected to certain behavior, meaning I'm not going to advertise myself all over Kodiak or other places during the day and maybe upset or offend some people in the process. There is a time and place for everything and if people want to go to the strip club they go there because they want to, not because I'm putting on a free show while I'm sipping on my latte at the coffee shop in the afternoon or whatever I might be doing.
Catch of the day.



On a rock at the beach. The boat I worked on is in the background.......