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Sometimes when I tell people that I live in Kenai I get responses like, "No way, I have never seen you anywhere, you do not live here." Oh but yes I do. I am happily inconspicuous during the day. Do you really think that I am going to parade around town advertising myself in booty shorts, a push up bra underneath a tight shirt and caked on make up? No thanks, I don't need 24/7 attention, I get enough as it is. Yes, I live here. I live a quiet life because I want to. I get enough excitement at work.....thanks. I don't go out to the local bars because they don't interest me, I like raves and a certain type of music and I don't think they offer that at the Mav. Would I ever go out locally? Sure....I could but if I'm going to go out to some loud place with people drinking and mingling I might as well go to work at the club and make some money. Plus there are no raves here. I wear comfortable clothes during the day, only Shauna Sand and Courtney Stodden wear stripper heels when they are out and about but then they are also kooky.
Summer time I like soft tank tops, jeans or cropped sweats, a hoodie if chilly and flip flops. Flip flops until it gets too cold to wear them.
In the winter time I bundle up if I'm in AK but if I'm in Vegas I can dress comfortable and cute year round. Of course it does happen that people recognize me but it's not because I flaunt myself around.....for a lack of better wording.


Yesterday I woke up to this message. And you can also see my response.

Some people know and appreciate quality. Am I going back to whatever place this might be?
I don't know yet. And I am not going to tell you where this is until I go, if I go. I know that some dancers do not want to share this club with other dancers, they want it all for themselves. I think the spots are limited too, there are only so many girls allowed to work.
I am obviously one of them. And it's not the first time I have heard something like this from other clubs/owners. Strip club owners and/or managers should know quality, I would think it is in their best interest (unfortunately for them they do not always realize this). I have always said......quality over quantity. There is a "girl" working at the club here right now that has absolutely no business being a "dancer" or whatever she might be referring to herself as.
She clears the stage and scares people away. That does not leave a good impression or a good memory of the club. And you want people to come back. Not flee in horror.
I am sooooo tired and very glad I escaped from work early tonight. I was really not in the mood to work but did it anyways and thought I was going to either fall asleep from boredom and lack of a fun outlet earlier. There were a bunch of boring people and men old enough to be my great grandpa in there tonight. FOGBONES! I'm so happy to be home and in bed.
Oh when I ran into Nancy and Honey yesterday, Nancy told me that she heard that I had been on some boat in Kodiak working. She said that Honey had been concerned for my safety. Nancy said that she told Honey that Tatiana is the last person you have to be worried about. She said that if anyone would try to do something I am not OK with I would probably kill them first and then contact the Coast Guard. That's right! I am glad that somebody knows me well! It's true, if somebody would try to hurt me or do something weird to me they would regret that very much. I am not the timid type.
But I am almost falling asleep while typing this......I need to take out my contacts and curl up and sleep. Maybe cuddle with Chhaya first. Isn't sleep one of the best things ever?

Smell The Flowers

I had a busy day today, sometimes I feel like I don't have time to smell the flowers......and that's important you know. The flowers are only here for a short while.
Post office visit today (I finally sent off licorice and Dalahästar from Sweden to my friends).
I ran into Nancy and Honey at the post office, I have to remember to tell you what Nancy told was kind of funny but spot on. Errands. Then some tanning outside, who knows it might rain tomorrow, I need to catch the sun while it's here and warm. Then a walk with Chhaya. Stuff.....there's always stuff to do. And now it's 8 pm and I have to take a shower and get ready for work. I'm not in the mood for work tonight but I might as well go in. You know I'm tired of making only $1000/night at the club here, it's getting old. But I might as well go......I guess $1000 is better than nothing. Maybe I'll buy myself a new Prada bag tomorrow, I've been eying a powder pink one for a while. ;-)
I might bring in my laptop to work too, I might have something more to say (I always have something to say).

PS.....$1000 is a JOKE.....there are a few that will know what I mean with this joke too.
Dancers (some dancers) like to exaggerate their earnings, why I don't know. I just know that it is really LAME to do that.


I have been to many many raves or parties or whatever you want to call the large events where people gather to dance to amazing music with great beats and heavy bass all night long to the early morning. I LOVE HOUSE MUSIC & I LOVE TO DANCE!!!!! If I like the music I will stay on the dance floor until the party is over. Majority of the time sober. Yes, sober.
What I wanted to talk about is that many people that never been to a rave before think that everybody is basically totally fucked up on drugs, like every pill imaginable plus some acid and copious amounts of cocaine on top of that. Yes, people do drugs raves. I have and enjoyed every second to the fullest being on E, trust me! No regrets on my part. I think everybody should have one or a few great E experiences in their life, maybe the world would be a better place then. But......BUT people do drugs every day, before work, before they go to bed, to be able to stay awake in church early Sunday morning after getting drunk Saturday night, they do legal and illegal drugs. Some do meth and others abuse their Adderall prescription, so I'm really tired of folks pointing their finger at us music and dance lovers that gather at the happy events known as "raves". Clean up your own shit before you start pointing your finger at me. I am sober compared to most people that I encounter. I don't drink or do drugs at work for example.
Another very important issue is the alcohol. I have seen way more people act inappropriate and/or violent because of alcohol. You rarely see any violence a raves but throw in some alcohol at a rock concert, country show or some other gathering where people usually drink a lot and all kinds of bad stuff happens. I have a great example for ya'll. The recent Keith Urban concert. A 17 year old girl got raped. And there were mass arrests and hospitalizations (I read one report that said 50 arrests and 46 people sent to the hospital) due to alcohol.
Electric Daisy Carnival (EDC) took place in Vegas last month. 400 000 tickets were sold to the three day event, I think it's safe to say that most of the people that were lucky enough to score a ticket went. I can guarantee that there were way less violent incidents and hospitalizations at EDC Las Vegas 2014 than the recent Keith Urban concert (when you compare the attendees to both events)......besides how many people does a Keith Urban convert draw? A couple of thousand maybe? I don't have an exact number. According to the Las Vegas Review Journal....."Las Vegas police made 25 drug-related felony arrests and 13 misdemeanor arrests on the final night. Two DUI arrests also were made. From 6 p.m. Sunday to 6 a.m. Monday, 234 medical calls were made at the event and eight people were transported to a hospital."
Keep in mind that a medical call is not the same as taking somebody to the hospital. So six people out of a crowd of about 130 000 Sunday night.
Yes, deaths happen at raves. YOU are responsible for your own well being, remember that. DO NOT blame a rave or the rave promoter for YOU taking too many drugs, drinking too much or being irresponsible. If you can't be responsible for your own actions in society, whether you attend a rave, a concert, go to the beach, church or wherever you might be going - STAY AT HOME.
Here are some pics of me with friends from a some raves I have attended. EDC used to be held in Los Angeles at the LA Sports Arena before they moved to Las Vegas (due to some overdose controversies). The LA Sports Arena, a great venue for a party, those were the days! I have so many amazing rave memories.....some of the best times of my life were made dancing and mingling at raves. SO MUCH FUN!
I am going to Burning Man next's going to be it was last year.
I'm going to dance every night. Dancing is my therapy. ❤

Me & Julia and a beautiful girl we met that we called "Asian Butterfly".

Dressed in pajamas, slippers and Hello Kitty accessories at Monster Massive.

With Angelica and Reza (in the middle). When I go back to Vegas I am going to Reza's parties in Los Angeles, it's going to be fun reconnecting with my old rave friends......I can't wait!!!!!


It's been pouring down rain here all day. I spent a few hours at Kaladi with Genesis this afternoon, having latte and company on a rainy day is a good thing.

Then I checked my PO BOX and saw that I got a package from Julia. She spent a lot of time on details like cute stickers and stuff. And she sent me a shower creme from Bath & Body Works. And an article about Sambalatte in Vegas.....I love that place. The funny thing is that I had a feeling that she would send me a shower creme from Bath & Body Works (it's that intuition I've been having lately). Dziękuję Julia!

Now I'm having a girlfriend over. At some point tonight we might watch a movie, if we can stop talking.....we have a lot of catching up to do. It's about midnight and it's pitch black more light out until 1 am. Wintertime is slowly creeping up on us......

Wild Alaskan Kodiak

Here are some pictures of the actual boat, the Wild Alaskan where I recently worked and stayed. Overall I had a good trip. There were some things that I was not too happy with but nothing major. BUT I know a person that had a very bad experience on that boat. I was not there when all of that transpired so I was not there to witness any of that. I have not said much about my overall impression......yet. I might sit down tomorrow if I have enough time and write a summary. The word about the boat is spreading and again my blog is getting some attention. Not everybody seems to understand what a blog is and they also have a negative view about a blog. For your information, blogging is normal and there are A LOT of blogs out there, shocking - I KNOW! Some people can barely compose an email and spell and only know how to update stuff on their Facebook. I have a blog and I read and research things online that vary from TMZ to Al Jazeera. Now you know.
Dancers will talk about their experiences (good and bad) amongst themselves in the dressing room at work and on any public forum available for these discussions. There are plenty of places online where dancers discuss work related issues, this is no secret. If they don't like something, the word will me. My blog is much more important for me than any club. And freedom of speech is one of the most important freedoms we have. That I will not give up. And if you have been reading my blog for a while, you also know that I write about SO MUCH more than just my job and all the drama that sometimes comes with that.
With that being said, I like Kodiak island. I enjoy traveling and gathering new experiences.
I wish every dancer that goes out to the Wild Alaskan much luck and if you want to ask me any specific questions you can do so in an email.

Summertime Sadness

I had such a nice day today, canoeing on a lake. A beautiful sunny day.....July is almost over and I can feel a slight panic in my chest as I'm sitting here writing this. The summer is more than halfway over.....I got that summertime sadness coming over me. I don't want this to end.
Chhaya is the best puppy ever......I know, I know, I said it more than a hundred times by now probably. Funny, fearless, curios, always willing to do whatever, lots of personality. I could not wish for a better companion. I feel so lucky, blessed and grateful for today!
Thank You Universe for my life. ❤

Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That, baby, you're the best
I got that summertime, summertime sadness........


Here is last nights list of the rotation. The funny thing is that I KNEW I was going to be number eleven on that list, I felt it on my drive into work. And it happened. I was very pleased with the eleven spot, since it is my favorite number. Actually lately, I feel something and just that thing happens. I guess that it was they call intuition. It's somewhat strange to have that ability, to know certain things will happen before they do......and I don't always listen to my intuition.
I wish that I paid attention to it more though. I have made too many mistakes regarding people in my life.

The hammer? That's my new prop. If you don't tip me enough on stage or get a lap dance when I demand that you get one, I'll give you a good whack on the head with it.
Sometimes men need that extra bit of assistance to get things done and understand......and a good whack on the head with a hammer usually does the trick. Trust me, you don't want to be my boyfriend......I utilize violence instead of communication. Who has time for communication? Not me. I'm very impatient and like to get my point across.
Also, some chick that I work with (bleh) is walking around with ping pong balls in her purse. Like I said the other day, some dancers carry all kinds of weird stuff in their purses.
They should be featured in one of those gossip magazines that has a small article with some random female celebrity, they show their purse and the contents in it. Ping pong balls?
Last time I checked this was the US, not Bangkok Thailand.
I worked with a very funny girl a while back, Mo (aka Mo Mo). She would squeeze out small plastic eggs from her VAGINE and also give the word light show a whole new meaning.
Yeah, she would stuff a light in there too. Although me and Mo didn't always see eye to eye about certain things, I really did like her. She was HILARIOUS and witty, plus those plastic eggs and that light show would make even the most dull night at work become a fun one. I miss Mo. She made me laugh. Tatiana & Mo Mo a few years ago.

Also last night me and Roxy shared a few good laughs in the dressing room. Her feet ached so she put on her regular shoes to see if that would work, to get a dance. Since wearing her Stardust Platforms (we both have those) didn't do the trick at all last night, we were kind of slow last night.......but no. Even wearing a sexy pair of Liz Clairbone sandals didn't do it. Like I said, whack them on the head with a hammer.

The last two nights I've been getting an unusual amount of compliments, maybe the guys are slightly tired from all the fishing or are wearing an extra strong pair of beer goggles, I'm not sure what it is. But two old guys Friday night said they've been coming here for 21 years and I was the best looking girl they have seen in the club. Then last night some guy (in a group of three) declared that I was one of the prettiest girls he has ever seen in a strip club and he claimed to have been to A LOT of clubs and seen many dancers. I made him repeat this to Cricket because I am demanding a raise after these grand statements. Instead of making 25 cents an hour I now want 50. Starting Monday. I am tired of being underpaid and under appreciated.
Then some other guy, while I was standing with two of my co workers (so they heard it also) said that I am only becoming better looking every year. I told him my secret is lots of plastic surgery and cocaine. These guys have never seen me in the daytime, it's amazing what some fake lashes, a pretty bra and cute panties do to ones looks. Try it, it might work for you too! Do you think I'm tooting my own horn a bit too much for your own taste? Get used to it (if you are going to read my blog) I am full of myself ( would be too if you were me) and I toot my own horn the loudest. Not always though. I have the ability to be very humble too.
I like it when other people are around when I get comments/compliments like these......then I have proof that I am not making stuff up. I don't have to make stuff up.
With that being said, being thought of as pretty/beautiful and wearing a nice sparkly bra and a brand new pair of Honey Dew's still doesn't make one have the most dances every night (at the club HERE, although it does work in other places for some strange reason).
Looks combined with personality don't matter too much here. What you need here is an outfit that looks dingy and dirty, with holes in it and that has been worn for three years in a row. Doing weird stuff during lap dances also works very well here. I don't give penis exams, I thought only the hookers at the brothels in Nevada were required to do so by law and gynecologists. I'm neither. I'm just pretty. LOL.
It's nice and sunny out. I might have to take advantage of this beautiful day. Check back another time for more of my amazing writing.......!


I am not done with my Kodiak adventure here in the blog yet, I still have some more to share with you. Lucky you! Lap it up, I know some of you are so very thirsty to find out every detail you can about my time there (this is directed to all the dancers that read my blog but never have anything to say about it). Hi ladies, continue reading.......! :-D
So all dancers stayed on the boat (when I was there). I did check prices with Best Western out of curiosity, it's rather steep but they are pet friendly. In case I would go back and bring Chhaya, she can't stay on the boat. That staircase is way too steep for a dog her size and then she needs to be able to relieve herself on a regular basis. Housing in Kodiak is pricey in general and they seem to have a shortage of places to stay. Kind of like Williston. The rooms where we slept were small but I had all I needed. Basically a bed, that was very comfortable by the way. Plenty of covers to keep me warm and pillows. And a place to put my stuff. I like sleeping on boats in general, it's cozy with the waves and all. I felt safe on the boat too, never had a moment of feeling scared.

I got a text message from somebody I know saying that a friend of hers is going to work on the boat and would like to know where I kept my money. Well, I kept my money in a lock box that was attached to a rope and a weight, I would drop down my loot into the ocean every night. My money was safe with the fishes. I also made regular deposits into my Swiss bank account, by the assistance of my personal accountant and banker residing in London. I mean what serious business minded dancer does not have an off shore bank account? Although I am considering switching mine over from Switzerland to Qatar.....another great tip from me to you! Some of the girls kept their money permanently attached to their thigh in a garter belt. Not for me. I don't care for that look at work.
Those garter belts (especially the larger frilly kind) remind me of some old cowboy movie with a foul mouthed hooker in a brothel, with a cigarette permanently dangling from her lip, snapping her garter. I only wear a garter belt at work if that is a rule and I absolutely have too. But my money stays in my purse. Some very observant man with a sense of style that was on the boat one evening said that the practice of keeping a wad of money in your garter belt looks tacky, I absolutely agree.
It's also totally outdated. Just like neon green thongs that you hike high over your hips and that too bleached crispy big 80's rocker hairdo. A cute and/or discreet purse is the way to go or keeping the money in your locker (if you have one that you can lock). And do not shlep around a large bag, I see dancers carrying large handbags around. Really now......! What's in there? Your Summer's Eve, a sewing kit, a taser, an extra pair of thongs and some spare shoes?
That large handbag dangling off the arm just looks awful! Reminds me of a scene out of Cops when they zoom in on the working girls on the corner.
Another place you can keep your big bills you earn at the boat is in the toilet tank, nobody will look there. Tatiana knows all the great spots for hiding money. Be grateful and happy I am so willingly sharing my secrets with you. Also popular by dancers for money transactions - PayPal and those Square credit card readers. Another question I am getting and that I know I will be getting now that I am writing about dancing in Kodiak is, how was the money? Well, it was good but not fantastic. I had a few bad nights. I never lie about my income, even if it's shitty. And I never exaggerate my income to boost a low self esteem (not that I have a low self esteem, quite the opposite). My self worth and confidence has nothing to do with the money I make. I did better in Williston (keep in mind that that was over two years ago now) actually but I had to spend more money on getting to Williston from Kenai. So if you live somewhere close to North Dakota it might be better for you economically to go to Williston to try your luck or to some other club/s in the country, there are plenty of spots to choose from. I am keeping in touch with the girls on the boat, so I know about the money. If you expect something amazing, pray for luck and great timing when you are out there. Sometimes that is all it takes, to get lucky. Unless you are a hooker and make your money that way, then you don't need luck. I know girls that still make $ 500 - 800 plus in Vegas several times/week. Because it's Vegas in a busy club.
You don't need luck there, you just need to be motivated and go to work. It also helps if you look good. Or just be one of those dirty dancers (works everywhere) but that does not apply to me, I never resort to those gross practices. I'm way too good for that. Call me a stuck up bitch if you want, I'm used to it. ;-) I'd rather be perceived as a stuck up unattainable bitch (by the people that don't know me) than resort to some of the things I have seen go on in some strip clubs. If I was going to do stuff like that I would be a high class escort making the big bucks. Thank you very much. I am very well aware of my options and my potential.......
One afternoon tanning on the deck. The big boat in the background is the M/V Tustumena ferry that I took from Homer to Kodiak and back a few years ago.

Beautiful view of Kodiak. On a nice day that place is magical.

Went Camping

I was gone for a few days in case anyone noticed......or missed me. ;-)
I went camping but I'm back now - alive. Mandy told me before I left to have fun and not to get eaten by a bear. I made it back alive. I saw only birds, a porcupine and some white mountain goats or sheep. I went camping at Cooper Lake. At a place where you have to either fly into or take some form of a motorized vessel. Absolutely gorgeous! Nobody around, just water, tall mountains and trees with the wind rustling through them.
First I packed and brought the essentials, Chhaya, my gun, bear spray, reading material and toilet paper. What else do you need? A man too perhaps? To do all the heavy work while I work on my eyebrows?

If I was ever stranded on a deserted island I would need a tweezer, cue tips and a comb. That's all I need as far as personal items go. I have been wanting to share this fact for a long time with my readers and I'm glad I was finally able to!

Some scenic pics and Chhaya in her life jacket. The water here is so cold that you better make sure you wear a life jacket in case you would be unlucky and fall in. This is not Florida!
Glacier water here in Alaska, freezing. If you look you can spot my canoe and my tent in the pics.

My food when camping consists of fruit, yam, corn, chips and juice. I love yams when camping.....yuuuuuum. And Chhaya loves yams too, in fact when camping she wants to taste everything that I eat. And she wears herself out and enjoys napping in the sun, soaking it up like a lizard.

Well, I'm safely back at my comfortable house in Kenai. Now I need to wash the camping grime off me and brush my teeth thoroughly, I brush them when camping but it's not the same as at home. Maybe a moisturizing honey mask on my face too?