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Not Motivated

Ugh.....I am so not motivated to get ready, go outside in the dark and cold and drive to work. It's 7 30 and I am in bed with my feet under Chhaya's stomach. It's so tempting to just stay like this for the rest of the night.....should I give in to being comfortable or should I be responsible and go to work?

Besides feeling lazy and unmotivated right now, I had a pretty good day. Spent some time outside in the sun with Chhaya, made a very good dinner for myself. And now I am staring at the dark night outside. Dark and cold. It's winter. I'm kind of over it.


So last night was basically another one of those waste of my time, eyelash glue, mascara and gas money nights. Well, I had fun with my friends of course but besides that not much was going on and we closed early. I occupied myself with taking pictures and goofing around. Like having fun with this cottage cheese that Sharon brought in and ate while sitting at the stage, not the first time she does that either! I mean, who sits at the stage in a strip club putting in spoonfuls of cottage cheese in the mouth? That is just too funny and you can only imagine the jokes I have been cracking about that cottage cheese!

Another thing. We have a new girl. She is crazy. Like really crazy, therefore I am going to call her CRAZY when I write about her. I have worked with somewhat unstable girls before, I have witnessed weird behavior, drama and emotional outbursts. Some which can be explained by having a bad night or being too drunk. But this girl, CRAZY, is actually not well mentally. I do not think that she should be working in a strip club, I can't think of any regular workplace that would actually hire her and even some clubs would not BUT WE DO! So come on over all you crazies, we'd love to have you! I know she is on many meds because I have seen her pill box, more like a large plastic container full of pills in different compartments labeled with the days of the week. Although I have not asked her specifically what meds she is on and if she is actually diagnosed with a mental disorder. I feel bad for CRAZY and I am worried about her safety. She is not a beginner stripper, she knows what she is doing and she is a ruthless hustler that has stepped on many toes in the club in her short time of being here and already had a few arguments with most of the girls. She has no filter whatsoever. I do have to say that she has a very nice body that I suspect is staying thin due to drugs, she is blonde and her eyes have a very haunted and disturbed look in them. She also slaps on blue eyeshadow like a five year old that came across Mom's makeup. Last week she barged in two hours late, she had been at the store and carried a bunch of bags. She had on boots and a skirt that barely covered her ass, that is what she wore while shopping at Fred Meyer - WTF! Therefore I am worried about her because I think she is so confused and an easy target for somebody with bad intentions. Some guys love "crazy" women for not the best reasons. And it doesn't always end well. I took CRAZY home last night because the local cab drivers already don't want to bother with her, some guy she met about a week ago would not pick her up either. From what I understood he also took her phone at some point throughout their weeklong relationship, so she had to borrow mine and an other girls phones to make calls. Then she was going to call her Mom to pick her up and since she lives not too far off my path I told her I would take her home, I felt bad for her Mom having to get up and drive to pick up her daughter at 1 30 am.
CRAZY also helps herself to anything that's not locked up in the dressing room. Shoes and outfits belonging to other girls, make up too.....she stuffed some things in her bag (not her things) last night and when confronted about it her explanation was that "it screamed my name". My stuff is always locked up but that is not OK, to just take stuff from the other girls......obviously! Then there are some other things that she has said that are way off the charts involving spying, the government and a famous rapper that she is convinced writes his songs about her.....yeah, I am not exaggerating....there is something seriously wrong with CRAZY and I am concerned. But enough about her.....for now.

YOU NEED some cottage cheese?


I met up with Lexi today for some coffee and she brought along her little baby girl. Not even a month old yet.....and THE CUTEST baby I have ever seen! So perfect, precious, cute and small although she was over 7 lbs when she was born. I got to hold her and she just laid in my lap looking at me while I was staring at her, SO CUTE!!!! I'm so happy for Lexi! ♥

Afterwards I went to the gym and now I am home, feeling that late afternoon tired feeling creeping on. But instead of taking a nap I am going to get dressed and take Chhaya out. She is my baby.


It's Monday.....again. I got some stuff done today already which is good. Then I went for a long walk with Chhaya and thought about if i should take a work trip somewhere sometimes in the near future. As usual, I am bored here. I finished today's latte, now I am going to swing by the store to pick up some groceries and then I am heading home to eat. The highlight of the day!
I got a new conditioner to try later, my hair has been dry lately. I know.....super exciting stuff huh? Should I air out my hairy armpits at work tonight? I haven't decided yet. Check back here tomorrow for some more enthusiasm from me.....or not.

Shaving Kit

I had one of the funnest nights in a long time at work last night. We just laughed, joked around and made was perfect! I even had a shot, they made me a mini shot but I still got a bit tipsy. And I felt really good. I told them they should be happy that I don't drink at work because I just become extra on top of what I already am.
So my armpit hair is growing and flourishing, it's not flailing after me when I twirl around the pole.....yet. And people are getting dances, they don't care. The only one that wants me to shave like right away is Boss Lady or The Pimp as we now call her. We joke around A LOT here, so The Pimp is said in a funny way and not behind her back in a mean way. I also sometimes tell guys (in an exaggerated very heavy accent) when they ask where I am from, that I am from Kazakhstan and that Boss Lady purchased me on the internet for $ 15 000. Then I elaborate further that I am forced to work every night, must make back the money plus a profit, only get one meal/day from McDonald's and that I want to escape and please can they help me get away? The other night Boss Lady told me that somebody might actually believe me and the authorities might come knocking to investigate the human trafficking that's going on at the club. I can assure you that I am perfectly legal in the US and not held captive, I just like to joke around, it makes work so much more fun. Anyhow, Boss Lady presented me with a shaving kit when I was on stage last night, I told her that she could do me the honors and shave me on stage. That did not happen. I have decided to keep my SEKSI pit hair for a while longer.

So, it's Sunday. I am off to do some errands soon, then me and Chhaya will go for a walk somewhere. I have to mention a few more things before I go. There are a lot of really psycho people out there. The other day I read about the married with kids Utah couple that had sex with their 16 year old baby sitter, killed her and disposed of her in the woods. SICK. I feel SO bad for that girl and her poor family. There seems to be a lot of seriously sick people living in Utah, I wonder why? Deprived much? Then today I read about some other married couple that murdered a bunch of people they met on Craigslist. The woman would post sex ads and horny men would answer them (WTF guys, STOP doing crazy stuff and THINK with the head on top of your shoulders!!!!) and then she and her hubby would kill the guys. I guess many of the killings happened here in Alaska. And this happily married psycho couple even went to a strip club after one of the murders. So if you are bored and feeling a bit lonely this Sunday, maybe in need of some sexy time attention, practice some safe self lovin'! Use your hand!
Do not search for attention on Craigslist, you might end up dead. Listen to Tatiana's advice!
And speaking of human trafficking since I mentioned it earlier, OF COURSE I am against it. Very much so. It's one of the topics, besides animal abuse that I really burn for. Well, I have to go now. Happy Sunday!

Chhaya Tested And Approved

Chhaya tested a new food and approved of it. It's the Nature's Variety Instinct Raw Bites. You get it frozen, it thaws up pretty quick. She got the chicken and liked it and next she will try the beef patties. It's a grain free food and you can get it at PetCo (look for it in the frozen section). Next week I am going to make her a meal that she can eat for two days in a row, some meat with veggies and add some quinoa or sweet potatoes.
If you go to you can get a coupon emailed to you.

Right now I am in bed cuddling with my baby. I get sooooo tired around 6 pm when it gets dark out, I could probably fall asleep right now. Dragging myself to work seems almost impossible. My bed is comfortable, Chhaya is soft and smells so good.....

Earlier today I watched Sweden's Charlotte Kalla win the gold in women's cross country skiing (relay), it was an amazing race and I was SO happy that Sweden got the gold. HEJA SVERIGE!
I even got a little teary eyed.....

Sexy Time Chances

Here I am sitting and sipping on my latte.....trying to write something. I worked the last two nights.....Thursday night some young scrawny guy became somewhat obsessed with me.
It was his first time into the club and he was very excited, too much for my liking. He would not leave me alone and even walked into the dressing room three times. That is a big no no. Nobody is allowed into the dressing room besides the staff. The third time that he suddenly appeared in front of me in the dressing room mumbling something about wanting to talk I yelled at him to get the fuck out or I would have to nail him against the wall Lennox Lewis style. Speaking of Lennox Lewis, I saw him in Vegas one random night, he is tall and very good looking. I also encountered Mike Tyson a few times at Crazy Horse Too, he complimented me once and I just smiled and walked away. Back then it seemed like Mike had some temper issues although now he seems calmer and into his pigeons.
Then last night we had a young couple in that celebrated their one year anniversary.
Great advice for couples that celebrate an anniversary, go to a strip club and celebrate, fun times! She was really nice and cool. He was an annoying perv. I did a lap dance for her while her husband got a dance from another girl. He kept on pushing for her to take her shirt off. Then at the end he asked if I wanted to come home with them for a Valentine's "date". thanks. After that I did not want to deal with them anymore, because of him, he was just too much. He came up two more times asking me to come over and hang out and when they wanted dances again, I did not want to do it and another girl entertained them instead. That girl would have had a way more fun night in there without her creepy husband, because we all liked her and we all agreed on that he was a perv. I mean, don't be so pushy and eager. And don't think that we all want to go home and have sexy time with you just because you want to. That is not going to happen. If anything, she had way more sexy time chances with one of us last night than he did. What are your sexy time chances with dancers? Speaking from my own experience.....fairly small. The better looking the dancer the smaller the chance. She already has plenty of options, inside the club and outside and she knows it.
I am talking about normal chances now.....a mutual attraction kind of thing, not some play for pay kind of arrangement. But at the same time, I know plenty of dancers that have met guys they really liked at work, including myself. So it's not impossible.

Happy And It's Valentines Day

I had a very happy day so far, now I am relaxing and feeling tired, thinking about taking a nap. I did errands earlier, me and Chhaya together, she got a new food but I will write about that tomorrow. It's Valentine's Day and I like this day, I think it's cute and gives people an extra push to show each other appreciation. I'm the kind of person that loves to show the people close to me that I care about them on a year round basis but still, Valentines' Day is nice.
So today I gave some chocolates to two people that have brighten my days with their presence. They did not expect it at all and seeing how happy they got made me really happy. Who are these people? Two ladies in town that work in two different places, they are always really nice and I just wanted to show them that I noticed and that I appreciate them. I also have some chocolates for the staff at Planned Parenthood but they are closed on Fridays. I think Planned Parenthood is great, they do so much more than perform abortions (contrary to what some people think) and they take a lot of negativity from persistent and angry zealots out there. Besides, I am pro choice and for women's rights. I don't need some crusty old dude to tell me what I should or shouldn't do with my body.
So, Happy Valentine's Day to you from me. I appreciate all my readers! HUGS! ❤

Look at this cute Hello Kitty with glasses! And I got a new book, Unlikely Loves by Jennifer S. Holland. I already have her other book, Unlikely Friendships and these books are amazing. Makes for great gifts too. Oh and chocolate, I love chocolate.


Some people are really particular about their laundry, like my friend Julia for example, laundry is one of her favorite things to do and she takes it seriously. I don't care for laundromats, kind of gross. Last time I went to one I saw a pubic hair on top of one of the EWWWWWW! Well, I do my laundry at home now and last year I read some scary articles about all the toxins in fabric softeners, so I decided to make my own fabric softener. And I was sticking with it for a while but now I am cheating and add about 1/4 of store bought fabric softener to my homemade one, that I also add to the laundry detergent. I make it with warm water, baking soda, white vinegar and I also add some lemongrass esential oil.
If you pick up a bottle of Snuggle and look for the ingredients you can't find them, instead there is a number on the bottle that you can call to get the listings. Weird, huh? I read that you should avoid using fabric softeners and dryer sheets to launder children's bedding because of all the bad toxins. I don't have kids but I have Chhaya and she sleeps in my bed and I also wash her bed covers and I don't want to expose her to more toxins than necessary. Not to mention myself.
So I get a fabric softener from Bright Green and their detergent too. I also found a new detergent that I haven't tried yet, Method. On the bottle it says that the formula is 95% plant-based and biodegradable and the bottle itself is made from 50% post consumer recycled plastic. I like that. I have been recycling for a while now, I recycle all the glass bottles, all the cans and close to all the plastic that I use.
I try to make good choices when it comes to stuff like this and I want to keep my ecological footprint somewhat in the moderate levels. Everybody can do their share, you too! I'd say start with switching your detergents, softeners and cleaning products to some that are kinder for you and the environment. Some people wash their hair without shampoo, it's called
NO POO and I have been thinking about maybe doing that also, I have been reading about it lately. There is a ton of info about it online in case you want t go that route too.


Look at my two new additions to my faery collection. I LOVE them. I have all kinds of faeries and mermaids, most of them put away in boxes either here or Las Vegas. One day when I figure out where I am going to settle......all the stuff that I have will be unpacked and organized. My future home is going to be amazing, I know this.