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This was the last sunset of February 2014 from where I was standing on the road outside my house. The colors were spectacular, mostly red. If I had been at the beach I could had captured it better. Now I can walk Chhaya after 6 pm and it's still light out. Nice.

Before work I watched Dateline, they had a special about Oscar Pistorious and his upcoming trial about shooting his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, I have been following that case since it happened over a year ago now. I'm not sure what to make of it and I am going to continue follow the developments with interest. I heard that according to some sources and statistics the worst thing a woman can do for her own safety and her children(s), if she has to live with a man. Women may be afraid of strangers, but it's a husband, a lover, a boyfriend, or someone they know who is most likely to hurt them. According to a U.S. Justice Department study, two-thirds of violent attacks against women are committed by someone the woman knows. In the United States, one of the most dangerous places for a woman is her own home. Isn't that crazy? Hard to believe and grasp but it's true..... :-(
On a lighter note, tomorrow night my SHELDON (Jim Parson) is hosting SNL. I love SNL, they seem to have so much fun making that show. I want to be on SNL, cracking jokes about glow in the dark pinworms and other fun stuff.

Back In Bed

I left work at 2 am after another dead night.....I am home now and back in bed. Made myself some tea and toasted a couple of English muffins, butter and orange marmalade on top.....sooooo good! The nights when I don't go into work are the nights that are good it seems, I guess a girl made over $ 300 on one stage set last Monday, not bad I have to say. Where was I? At home eating. Tonight I watched music videos at work and drooled over Rihanna's Instagram, how freakin' SEKSI can a girl be? I'm in love with Rihanna. Finally when it was 2 I begged to go home, I said that I felt like a captured Russian hooker and just couldn't take it anymore. Pleaseeee, let me go homeeeeeee! Set me freeeeee!
Well.....I have to wash my face, the silver glittery eyeshadow has to come off. Then sleep.
Things I entertain myself with when I'm bored at work.....selfies and pics with a snake.

New At Work it felt like spring! 41 degrees and melting snow everywhere, I am hoping for an early spring this year because last year it took until May to warm up here....I was like WTF!!!
I have been feeling so tired lately, for some time now. It takes me forever to get out of bed, even after seven - eight hours of sleep and then I want to take a nap later in the afternoon. My personal physician, Julia has ordered me to check my thyroid. I guess I will do this but I have a problem with needles, I almost faint when I have to draw blood and I get very scared and cry almost every time. This stems from bad childhood memories, I was very sick when I was around 3 years old and had to undergo lots of tests and stayed in the hospital for a long time. They drew my blood, gave me shots and I was sad, scared and little. And now I can't handle needles. My friend Rose-Marie told me that I should get some iron pills and something called Blutsaft. So I am doing that tomorrow. It could be a mild form of SAD too, Seasonal Affective Disorder, its' common here. what's new at work?
CRAZY got fired, this happened last Saturday because she got into it with The Bulldog and supposedly pushed her and that was it. No physical "violence" is tolerated, so she got fired. Earlier that night she told me about her meds and some of her problems and I felt bad for her. I do not think that she should had been allowed to drink at work and I told this to management. I think that was irresponsible on their part, when they knew something wasn't right with her. The answer I got back is that they don't run a babysitting business, true. But if you hire a girl that's obviously mentally unstable then you can have a talk with her and decide that consuming alcohol mixed with her meds is not a good thing. I felt bad for CRAZY when they fired her. Especially since her and The Bulldog got into it over something that The Bulldog and her sidekick FUGLY do on a regular basis, rip guys off. But The Bulldog pretended to be holier than thou. I can't stand her, she is so fake.....UGH. I am allergic to fake people.
I'd rather have real and blunt than fake every day of the week.
Then some new lady started last weekend, I doubt she will be back. She had never danced before (from the looks of it, I didn't ask her) and it is not for everybody, you know.
The Bulldog was coaching her in the dressing room in her annoying and fake voice (I don't like when people have obviously fake voices) telling her (loudly so I could hear), "It's not about being the most beautiful girl, all you have to do is smile a lot because guys like that, guys don't like girls that don't smile". Sure, smile all you want like an insane person, but it sure helps looking good, if you work as a dancer, that's reality. I can sit there without a fake smile plastered on my face and somebody will come up and want a dance. The new lady was very nervous and spazzy and would not stand still for two consecutive seconds, guys would probably pay her to leave. I don't see her making any money, she was there for one night and I haven't seen her since. The Bulldog forgot to mention that it also helps to be a really dirty dancer and let guys finger and examine your VAGINE for $ 40, she does that shit all the time. Then it doesn't matter if you smile or look long as you are willing to do stuff like that. Gross. Looking "beautiful" helps....I don't have to resort to desperate stuff like that to make money....neither do I want to.
What else.....? Some weirdo came in the other night and blabbered some story about him being a duke, speaking 13 languages and that he could take me away from "all of this."
Yeah, that's all I need, some weirdo that is full of shit. I don't need to be saved from anything, thank you though. Save yourself, you need it more than me. Later on he busted out in a jerky chicken dance when "Moves Like Jagger" came on, very SEKSI. I was like, WTF? I bet if I would had spoken French or German to him he would had been sitting there with a dazed look on his face.
Then there was some other weirdo in there that told me, when I asked him how his day was, that he started it off with a 1/2 gram off meth and coffee. OK then.....good for you! And then there was a guy that was "disappointed" with me because for some reason he was under the impression that I has promised him a ride home last time he was in there. What? That pissed me off and I interrupted him and told him that he was very mistaken. Maybe in HIS head, in his wild imagination I had promised him a ride home. But I don't give random dudes I meet at work rides home at 4 am, I don't want to have to fight off a possible rapist. I don't hang out with random dudes after work, I go straight home. And I don't promise stuff like that either, ever. Why even bother, I don't have time for that.

Bieber Bashing

What is wrong with adults that are supposed to be mature? How can people put so much emphasis and energy on being angry with Justin Bieber? There is even some petition signed (signed by 261 000 and counting) and presented to the White House because people want Bieber to leave the US. What? Are there not way more important and urgent things to start petitions about than Justin Bieber? Ask YOURSELF.....think back to when YOU were 19.....and imagine IF you had Bieber's millions, because that kid has so much money that he doesn't know what to do with it. Wouldn't you too be having fun? Go out clubbing with your friends? Drive fast cars? Maybe drinking and smoking some weed? Bieber is not doing anything different than MOST American teenagers are doing. Check your own kids if you have any and stop pontificating about Bieber. Your perfect little angels are probably getting drunk and high too, I'm telling you. So, he was you speed? I do. So, he got high (maybe) never done drugs? I have. He goes out and has fun with his friends. I started clubbing when I was 13 and I still have not had enough of music and dancing and I am older than Bieber but I'm not dead YET.....OMG scandal! Yea, he wears silly looking saggy pants and runs around shirtless. I have seen way worse than that, trust me. At least he is in shape. Go to any Walmart in the US and take a look at what some people in there are waddling around in (NOT SEKSI OK). Yea....he does "dumb" stuff. Well, we all have done dumb but harmless stuff, the difference is that regular folks don't have any paparazzi following their every move. I mean seriously, people should be embarrassed to engage in this lame Bieber bashing. Leave the kid your mouth and complain IF he commits a serious crime. Until then, worry about your own dirty deeds.
Everyday I read news about people that do shit that should put them away for life. Everyday. Grown men snatch little girls off the streets in broad daylight, rape and dismember them. Today I read about some freak that raped his little stepsister while she has been held captive, starved and abused by her own father and stepmother for years. These sub humans will get jail time and then in a few years they WILL be out again and statistics show that many sick sex offenders are repeat offenders. People like that should never be let free to roam society ever again! Why don't people rally about that instead? Sign petitions about that and send off to the White House. At least that is IMPORTANT. I'd much rather see mandatory life sentences for sex offenders implemented than Bieber deported. I don't care about what Bieber does, let him have fun. Hey, I hope I run into him one day so I can drive his Lambo or Fisker Karma.
He can even shower me with money on stage, he likes to do that I hear and he is generous also, NICE! So he contributes to the US economy in more ways than one. GOOD! There are plenty of Americans that don't contribute shit, instead they try to figure out how they can get more of something for nothing = handouts. Obama should have Bieber over to the White House for a meet and greet with Sasha and Malia, I bet they would love that. Maybe together they could start some kind of a fund for abused children or children in foster care.
Because there sure are a lot of people out there that prey on kids. Do something USEFUL with your time instead of being envious of a kid that is enjoying his life. Maybe pick up a guitar, learn how to play it and make your own music, that is what Justin did and now he is rich. I am team Bieber on this one.

Quality Time

Tonight I had some quality time with myself.....he he sounds kind of kinky....! I took a bath and scrubbed myself vigorously all over and then I emptied the tub and filled it up with water again, added olive oil and soaked in that for about ten minutes while having a clay mask on my face. Afterwards I put on some lotion and jammies. Rubbed some thick foot cream on my feet and put on socks. That's quality time by myself. The olive oil makes for an oily tub so I had to clean out the tub really good afterwards. And then I cleaned the other tub downstairs too, might as well do both at the same time.
So today I tried this juice, some organic and raw stuff with vitamin C, it was yummy and tarty. I have been taking vitamin D for about a month now, I read that vitamin D is really good for boosting your immune system. I don't know if it works but I haven't been sick since I was in New York back in December of 2012, besides an occasional headache and stomach cramps due to being on my period but that doesn't count as being sick. But maybe now I will get sick after "bragging" about how healthy I am. I also like the Zola acai juices, I really like them, drink a few each week.
Oh and my number one girl is the new face of MAC Viva Glam, looking gorgeous in her blonde hair (wig?). Love her, still. My number 1 girl crush.

What else? I feel porky. Waiting for my period and my boobs are swollen and tender, I am bloated or perhaps just porky. Probably porky! My thighs are hairy and I am going to wax them at some point in the next week or so. The armpit hair is still thriving. I am going to shave it soon (kind of over it) but I am going to either auction it off to the highest bidder....GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE.....SOLD to the gentleman over there! Or I'm going to donate it to a local sort of spin on "locks of love" request I got, some balding man wants my armpit hair so he can glue it to his head. Why not? I hope he won't use superglue. So if you want to see my armpit hair in person you basically have this week to do it and then it will be gone, unless I decide to keep it a while longer. I am posing for hairy armpit pics and signing autographs this Friday 11 pm at the club. ;-)
What else? I should maybe color my gray roots? I have been lazy lately and not bothering with it, like who cares? I mean, I do since I color it, not ready to be prematurely gray yet, call me vain.....LOL. I have a gray streak and some other areas with more and more grays showing up.....only a sign of my exceptionally high intelligence. :-D So right now I am a real beast, porky, hairy and gray. In other words.....SUPER SEKSI! Business as usual.

Not the clearest pic to proudly showcase my gray streak.....but I only took three pics and this one will do. more thing. Robin Thicke and his wife Paula separated. GASP! Didn't see that one coming.....LOL. Let me guess, he decided that being single after finally getting some fame and recognition after his one hit wonder (I hope) would be so much more fun than being married and faithful to that old ball and chain, his wife? All those young hotties are throwing themselves at him now, there is willing vagina everywhere! Granted, him and Paula have been together since they were teenagers, so I don't blame them for splitting up, very few people make it last if they meet that young. Nothing that I personally recommend. But what I find very comical is how they have been publicly and loudly declaring their hot and burning love for each other and that their sex life is so spicy and bla bla bla.....T-M-I OK? If you are sooooo in love and have soooo much sex then why are you splitting? Yeah......right.
I think Robin Thicke is so gross, I would never touch him. He was voted Sexist of the Year 2013, a title he well deserves I think. I hate his song "Blurred Lines". I would never dance to it on stage and when I hear it I get annoyed and change the station (if it's on the radio) because I think of all the shit Miley got after performing with his gross and pudgy ass at the VMA's. Everybody was talking about scandalous little Miley rubbing herself on him.....What about him, squeezed into that too small clown suit, married and smug looking, he probably loved every second of that performance.....PLUS it was rehearsed and Paula knew about it (supposedly). I am sure Miley wouldn't want him anyways, he looks like an old perv, she can be with a hot guy or girl, not that. "Blurred Lines" is so disgusting, have you bothered listening to the stupid lyrics? Dumb. And then some lame rapper (T.I) busts out "I'll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two". Oh yeah? And what would that be? No thank you.....I'd rather stick something big up your ass so it tears in two. So nasty and people like this song? Why? Not to mention the totally douchey video. Yawn. Naked girls? How original. Run Paula and be happy that the douche is gone!

Replacing Rhinestones

I brought home my heels for some maintenance, they needed some rhinestone replacement. And cleaning to get them nice and shiny. But I ran out of super glue and need to get some more so I can finish fixing my shoes. Good I have a third pair in my locker at work. And then I have the new shoes, the Bejeweled 701's but I haven't worn them yet.....


Got some new that will keep me occupied and content for a few days. One book about pro choice and some stories about that. Oh yes, I am pro choice. And so is the lady in the bookstore that sold me the book, we talked about that for a while and both agreed on that Planned Parenthood does lots of good. And then a book about a woman's rise to a prominent political position in Afghanistan, a country known for not having a friendly attitude towards women.

Books and pizza....a perfect way to spend my afternoon. Pizza is one of those perfect foods. Now I am watching the closing ceremony in Sochi. I wish I was at that party! Then I saw some footage from Ukraine, there are some brave people over there, out fighting in the streets like that, protesting and getting shot at. Take that Occupy Wall Street! What happened to that movement?
One more thing about pregnancies and pro choice. I do think that women should do what is right for them. Because when it comes down to it, women are the ones carrying the baby and going through the trauma squeezing the baby out. And for many women it is a very scary and painful experience. I have spent this last week reading many birth stories about vaginal tears and bad stitching afterwards and long lasting problems in the neither regions after going through the "joy" of childbirth. I bet if it was men that went through all of that there would be no question to whether they should be allowed to have an abortion or not. Not to mention that women are the ones that get stuck with the largest responsibility to caring for the children (in most cases). Therefore you need be more careful and thoughtful to with whom you choose to have your kids with and that goes for men too. Should be common sense right?
I know somebody that has a pregnant 17 year old daughter. The girl has been "dating" the guy for about two months. Why she feels like she needs to be a Mom right now is just kind of strange to me, she is still a child and in high school. And the guy does not want to be a dad and I absolutely understand that. They probably barely know each other, a few months of "dating" meaning maybe going to the movies a few times, riding in his truck and having some sex does not mean that you know that person enough to make a mature decision about starting a family together. I feel bad for the guy. The baby will be ok, because the pregnant 17 year old has her Mom and a large family to lean on for support. But that is not the case all the time. And you can't force somebody to be a father. I think that is really bad, when girls (in this case) and women do that. Get pregnant with some guy, any guy, whoever you are having casual sex with at the moment and then expect what? A marriage and a picture perfect family? How about being responsible and planning to make a family together? Sure, that is many times not a guarantee for forever bliss and happiness but still much better than being irresponsible about reproducing.


After I finally managed to drag myself out of bed this afternoon (I like to lay in bed and enjoy myself in a state of almost awake) me and Chhaya ventured out for some errands. She likes it when I get my latte from Kaladi because that means she will get treats.

Then I got some stickers at Jo-Anns.....50% off (yeay!) I need some new stickers for a small project I want to put together. When I did my grocery shopping I used a buy one get one free coupon for a yogurt, it made me feel mighty thrifty. I totally use coupons if I have any for the things I want to buy. I admire those coupon people that clip coupons and then go to the store and get hundreds of dollars of stuff for free or for only a fraction of the price. That's amazing but I am not that into chasing coupons. Maybe I should make that my new hobby?
I also got this cheese danish at Starbucks, they got some new pastries in and are selling them for half price this weekend to get people to try them. I was really excited to try this danish as soon as I got home, because I love pastries. It was dry and tasted like bleh.....that was my last danish from that Starbucks, I have noticed that the two Stabucks we have in town sometimes sell stale pastries. Which is fine but at least tell people that they are stale and not fresh and don't sell them for full price. I like the pink bag though..... la of my fave French words.

Now it's time for a nap right next to Chhaya, I love laying behind her and smelling her fur. Then I have to take her out. Check back tomorrow for some gossip about work.

Took Control

I actually got myself together last night and took control over my PMS and went to work.
A small personal victory, because it is so easy just to stay at home when you don't have a schedule to follow. But now I am home again and my bed smells so good because I washed all my bedding yesterday. I even washed the electric blanket but it's still drying, I'm curious to see if it's still going to work after the wash.
Work was ok. The latest drama? CRAZY took some stuff that didn't belong to her....again.
But this time she took one of Sharon's bracelets, actually a thick silver cuff that I gave to her a while back. It was a pair of cuffs that you are supposed to wear around your ankles but they were a bit too small for me and Sharon has thinner legs than me so I gave her the cuffs.
They are really nice and I recognized the cuff right away when I saw it around CRAZY'S wrist. Well, she got taken into the office and almost got fired. We'll see if she can refrain from "borrowing" stuff that's not hers from now on. If you want to take stuff, go take at WalMart....great advice!
Going into work is like opening up a box of never know what you are going to get! But I am going to sleep now, I am already looking forward to my latte when I wake up....


So many plans for today and yesterday.....I was going to go swimming, go to the gym and work. But no, didn't do any of it. I am not feeling for anything besides eating and sleeping.
It's called PMS and I usually get this feeling for about two or three days each month, sometimes longer. I did force myself do get something done. Last night I stayed in and cleaned and I also stitched up some of Chhaya's toys that she has ripped apart and a pair of my Honey Dew's. My latest pair actually and the only pair that ever needed stitches, they came apart in the seam.
Today I cleaned Chhaya's ears and brushed her teeth. I also use chamomile tea to clean her, once it's cool enough I dip a small towel in the brew, squeeze out excess tea and clean the inside of her ears, around the eyes, the gum line and around her little PI-PI. That's the name I use for her "private" part. Chamomile is a natural disinfectant. I usually do eyes and ears first and then I grab a fresh towel and clean her gums and then her PI-PI. No double dipping the towel. Keep it clean. Now she needs a brushing.

Then I laundered my bedding and fed all my other animals.....the ones outside. After that I decided that I would not go to the gym like I had planned initially, instead I would only venture out (besides walking Chhaya of course) for a latte and a muffin, so I did that, even though that felt like a huge undertaking. PMS = even ordinary stuff feels difficult. And now I am sitting here.....thinking about work and that I don't really feel like working.....or do I? Maybe Sharon can sing that song to me like she usually does, something about that she thinks I am beautiful, that will surely improve my mood. But then sleep sounds like a great plan also.....
Today's PMS selfies. Feeling like YUCK.