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Spent

I feel spent this evening. Tired. I just watched Mama produced by Guillermo Del Toro and it was ridiculous, started out ok but then......no. I actually liked Don't Be Afraid of the Dark by him and I LOVE his Pan's Labyrinth . That to me was a masterpiece. I still need to watch
The Devil's Backbone . Sometimes people ask me if I have a favorite movie, I really don't have ONE favorite.....I like many and Pan's Labyrinth stands out in my mind as amazing, at least it touched me.
I am not in the mood to write about all the work drama tonight. All I can say right now is that it is turning into some kind of a whore house......and that is NOT what I am about. I hope these girls feel good about themselves after doing some of the things they do, while pretending to be dancers. And I can say one more thing, they disgust me. I thought there was supposed to be many differences between working in a strip club and working in a brothel. Apparently not (for some people). Unfortunately (I think) this shit goes on in many clubs.
I am tempted to go and work as a barista somewhere or don't do anything at all. Tempted. That doesn't mean that I will, right now. I am going to take Chhaya out for an evening walk soon and then I have two more movies, Silver Linings Playbook and Side Effects to watch.

Lots To Say



I have lots to say about stuff that is going on at work right now but I'm saving it for tomorrow when I will (maybe) have some more time to sit down and write about it. I didn't wake up until 1 pm today and the day flew by. I need to take Chhaya out and I think I am going to go for a run before I have to get ready for an evening at work.
It's really nice out and I'm feeling happy, alive and summery. I hope you do too! :-)


Tool



Here is a recent work story. By the way, I am feeling extremely unmotivated at work lately.
I just want to sit there, go on stage and that's it. NOT in the mood to engage in LAME convos with people I don't know. I am ok with people I do know, usually I have some smart men that come in and talk to me - otherwise I would climb the walls. I am really close to climbing the walls actually.
Anyhow. Now that I got that off my chest.....Last night when I was standing by my locker this new girl that I don't know bounces by and blurts out (to me), "Hi Russia." Sometimes I don't care and sometimes I do, depending on my mood. Sometimes I pretend that I am from Kazakhstan and barely speak any English. But I am NOT Russian and the girls at this club tend to talk a lot about ME to the guys and they all say that I am from Russia and then everybody assumes that I am. So I replied, "I am not Russian". She, "Where are you from then?"
Me, "I was born in Poland but I grew up in Sweden." She, "Oh....Sweden, I always wanted to go there, was is nice to live there?" Me, "Yes." She, "I love that BAVARIAN architecture."
Me, "Ummmmm, Bavaria is in Germany." She, "Oh, I am not that good at GEOMETRY."
Me, "You mean geography?"
Yeah.....LOL. Not the sharpest tool in the shed. And I am not referring to myself. ;-)
Sometimes I see and hear (remember I am very observant) guys ask the other girls a bunch of questions about me when I am on stage. ASK ME instead! Very few of these girls know me, so they don't know what they are talking about anyway. I am going to make some of those informative brochures and put them throughout the club so people can read vital facts about me, since I seem so interesting to others.



Whatever



So Wizard, the husky that bit the two year old got put down today. :-(
His owner decided this or Wizard would had faced a long confinement in some shelter. I hope the responsible (sarcasm) Mom of the two year old feels like something GOOD came out of this situation now. Feel good now Mom? Happy? Yes, I know her kid got bit and hurt and that is really unfortunate but maybe Mom should had not put three children in that situation in the first place. Then this could had been avoided. We all make mistakes, it is human to make mistakes. But how is this outcome making the situation any better? I am sure that Wizard could had continued living his life without any other incidents like this.
This makes me angry. If some kids would walk into my yard and get bit by Chhaya I would not see that as my fault or Chhaya's fault. Keep track of your kids. OK? WHATEVER!


Great Spot

When I was driving back to Kenai from Anchorage the other day I stopped in Hope. I have been there before and it is a nice place. In fact Ireland and Natasha took my advice and went camping there last weekend and they loved it.
I want to camp in Hope too but not at the campground, instead I have this great spot in mind. You turn on a dirt road to the right off the main road and get to a pretty beach and some areas where you can slap up a tent or park your RV, make a fire and enjoy great views, even lay on the cliffs and tan or read. That is where I want to camp! Hopefully one of my friends that enjoy the outdoors can join me one day.





No Excuse

So I think I have to drag myself to work tonight. I might as well, I did all my laundry and my house is clean so I can't make the excuse to myself that I should stay home and clean and it is cold and gray outside so I can't say that I want to enjoy a beautiful summer evening outside. So yeah, back to work......noooooooo! I am not feeling enthusiastic at all. But that is how I am.....I don't like getting ready and going there, once I am there I am usually ok and in the end it was usually worth it. Same with the gym or with traveling, I don't want to get ready and go but once it is over I have no regrets.
But before I start to wash my hair and shave I have to bundle up warm and take this young lady out for a walk. She is ready to play and is staring at me from across the room right now. She needs attention.



Half-Birthday

A little after 1 am here on June 27 which is my half-birthday btw. What is a half-birthday?
Well this is the explanation according to Wikipedia, "A half-birthday is a day approximately six months before or after the anniversary of a person's birth. It is sometimes marked by people whose birthday falls near major holidays, the celebration of which may overshadow celebration of the birthday.". My REAL birthday is December 27. So in case you want to gift me with something.....I want the new Camilla Läckberg book, The Stranger and new stripper shoes, Pleaser Bejeweled 801-DM, size 8. :-D



Anyhow......I am doing laundry while writing this, STILL sticking with the organic home made fabric softener. I hang dry most of my clothes. Went for a 25 minutes run around 11 30 and I am in bed now. Chhaya just curled up right next to me.
So ready for some of my thoughts......? Do you think Edward Snowden is a hero or a traitor?
I pretty quickly made up my mind that I look at him as a hero, absolutely. I also think that Julian Assange (WikiLeaks) is a hero. What Snowden did was brave, he stood up for the Fourth Amendment, that people have the RIGHT to be SECURE in their persons, houses, effects......and so on. When a government listens in on people's private conversations without their knowledge then their right to be secure in their person and house has been compromised and is no longer there. So yes, to me Snowden is a hero. I wish him the best and I hope he can find a safe place to live. This is probably only the tip of the iceberg, who knows what else the government is doing. This is a mock democracy.....but I have said that before. Starting to remind me of Russia back in the day. The best thing to do is to start planning for self sufficiency. Easier said than done. But when the stores run out of food and stuff, the people that are self sufficient and have a way to defend themselves will be the ones surviving.
I heard that 1984 by George Orwell is selling like hotcakes on Amazon. Coincidence or are people staring to slowly wake up?
And now to a controversy on a more local level.....involving a dog and a toddler. Recently a sled dog husky bit a two year old after the two year olds Mom took her three small kids into a dog yard with about 50 chained up huskies. One dog got loose and mauled the toddler and now the question is, should the dog be euthanized? My opinion? NO. I feel bad for the little girl that got bit BUT her Mom should had never brought three small kids into that dog yard.
I don't care what she was doing in the dog yard, leave the kids outside or in the car. This is not the friendly family lab we are talking about, these are sled dogs, most of them live their lives chained up and are not socialized with children. I am personally against keeping dogs chained up like this and think it is border line animal cruelty. I have already written a blog entry about that. The husky that bit the toddler is not a bad dog. I do not see why he, his name is Wizard, should be put down. Nothing good is going to come out of that. You can't bring your kids around every dog, that is just how it is. I got bit as a toddler by our dog, it was MY fault, I was bothering the dog. My Mom was smart enough to know this and the dog continued living with us. I would never let Chhaya be around kids unsupervised, I rather not have any kids around Chhaya period. Just to avoid accidents. Chhaya has been around kids but she is kind of stand offish with them and I can tell that she'd rather not be bothered by them. And I respect that.
Of course Wizard should live! I think the Mom is at fault here. So then should she be considered a negligent parent and have her kids taken away? Nothing good would come out of that either. She just has to live with the fact that she made a mistake. We all make mistakes. That's life. But she should not push the responsibility of her mistake onto Wizard. That is not right.

Shopping

When I was in Anchorage I did some shopping. I finally found a pair of gym shoes that I love. Perfect colors for me.



New workout pants and sports bra.



Some eye shadow by MAC, Mystery Satin and lip gloss by MAC, Full Speed Ahead .



New Havaianas since two pairs I had recently broke. These are a very dark purple.



Alaska

Sometimes people ask me why I came up to Alaska from Las Vegas. They think (assume) that you can make so much money working as a dancer in Vegas. Compared to here. Well, I was tired of dancing in Vegas. Yes, I did have good nights working there and many super fun nights but like with many things, I was tired of it and ready to try a new club. I had plenty of bad night in Vegas too. Struggling to make the house fee and some kind of a profit. I had heard about dancing in Anchorage and I wanted to go there and try it out for a couple of years before I finally got tired of trying to talk Julia (a girl I used to work with) into going and went by myself. It was December and that is usually a slow month for dancing in Vegas when I came up to Anchorage for two weeks. I had already contacted the Great Alaskan Bush Company and gotten hired. And it turned out that I really liked working there and made great money. I should had came here when I first wanted to go, instead I waited for Julia and that turned out to be a bad idea and a waste of valuable time. That taught me a lesson! I flew home to Vegas and returned up to Anchorage for two more weeks in February to try it again, still liked the club and made good money. Went back to Vegas and decided to pack up my Toyota 4-Runner and come up for longer. Like six months or so. Well, it has been five years.
I have been back to Vegas since then, once for a six month stay and many shorter stays.
I have also traveled and worked in other clubs and after 2 1/2 years at the Bush Company I was over that place as well and no longer work there. The last six months or so at the Bush I thought that the quality of the clientele coming there had severely got worse (too many drunk kids with no money) and that it was difficult to make money, not only for me but for most of the girls. Too many bad nights. I also wanted to be able to make my own schedule and come and go as I pleased but you cant do that there. It still was a fun experience to work there and I made some good friends. Sometimes I am tempted to go and make an appearance and work there again for a while. I just don't think I would be able to deal with having to be there at 4 pm. That is way too early for me, torture! After I left they had another Tatiana there for a while.......Landis (one of the dj's) told me that there could ONLY be one Tatiana.....and that would be me. :-) Here is a pic of the Great Alaskan Bush Company.



The first time I came to Alaska I rented a room. The second time I stayed here, at the Alaska Backpackers Inn.



When I came up after that I had Chhaya with me and we lived downtown on Eagle Street.....here. Then it was called Eagle Street Suites now it is the Backpackers Annex.



Far from nice (when I lived there), actually quite bad. BUT it was the only place I could find that would allow a pitbull. And I called many places. Since Chhaya is my baby and I would never abandon her we stayed there. I liked the downtown location and it was close to some nice walks, the Coastal Trail, Westchester Lagoon and Ship Creek.
Now I live in a beautiful house in Kenai on 8 acres. Lots of room for Chhaya to roam around.
If you would had asked me 10 years ago about living in Kenai Alaska I would had said, "What, where is that?". Life is an adventure.
Kenai is nice but for the most part very, very boring. Boring to the point of driving me to insanity at times. Anchorage is more fun but I don't want to work there. And yes, I do miss Vegas at times. After all, there is only one Las Vegas and it can be absolutely amazing.
Btw we had 19 hours and 19 minutes of daylight here today, I love the summer in Alaska! ❤

Long Day



I am home in Kenai again after a looooong but fun day in Anchorage. Right now I am in bed with dirty feet (dusty after a whole day in flip flops) watching Excused , it's that dating show hosted by Iliza. I love that girl, I wish I was friends with her, she is witty, quick and funny.
Just like me! ;-) And we make the same kroikey face. I have to show you my kroikey face sometime.
Speaking of friends, I met up with Kennedy again today, we took our babies for a walk.
She said she has missed my company, I replied, "likewise". I have missed her company too.
I also ate at Middleway Cafe, had the Playa Azul salad. I love that place, when I lived in Anchorage I would eat there often. I also took care of some necessary shopping. I will show you the latest stuff I got in a day or two. I think it is time for some ice cream now and a shower later.