Welcome to Chaos !!

The last six months or so have been marked by some sad events. My Mom had a medical issue, she had surgery last week actually and is doing well. I got scared and almost went back to Sweden to be with her but she insisted that I stay put and come only if things would take a turn for the worse. Luckily things didn't go bad and she seems to be doing well. One of my good friends lost her beloved dog to cancer late last year and yesterday her cat got ran over by a car, she found him dead in the street. 😥 He was a wonderful cat with an amazing personality and he was only 12. Why did this happen? When I talked to her earlier today she just felt numb. And she mentioned something about that maybe everything happens for a reason. I said that I don't believe in that saying for the most part. That is something us humans tell ourselves to justify a situation when things go bad or to make life seem easier when we fall on hard times. Because in between the laughter and the good times there will be sadness and hard times. I don't know if I am cut out for the hard times. I am a very sensitive person, I get upset and feel pain in my heart when innocent beings suffer even if I don't know them. And I know that my time to feel loss, pain, heartache and sorrow will come one day. It's inevitable. It will happen to most of us. Unless you die before you get to experience it . If you have a family or people and pets that you love you will experience loss and sadness. And I don't want to ever have to face that, I don't know if I will be able to deal with that and I am scared. Sometimes I think that I'd rather die than have to go on living without my Mom or Chhaya. I see no reason behind that my friends cat got ran over yesterday besides that somebody drove on him. No higher reason.
There is no higher reason when children get abused or molested besides that an evil person got a hold of them. To me there is no higher reason for accidents, sickness and misery. I don't look at it that way. I think you can learn from life and cherish life without having to go through traumatizing events. IF there is a reason for all the sadness and misery, I hope that the reason is that we will all go to some place after we die where there is no pain, no tears, nothing bad, where we will be reunited with the people and animals that we were close to in this reality.
There are reasons for the obvious things. You get a speeding ticket because you were speeding and got caught. Your significant other leaves you because you cheated and got caught. You arrive late to an important event because you didn't wake up in time or didn't leave in time. You can't pay your bills because you spent all your money on meth. Your house is filthy because you don't clean it. A lot of times you are responsible for the reason things turn out a certain way. Not always though. There are obvious reasons for many things. But I don't see the higher reason for a lot of the stuff that we are faced with every day.

May is here......there is still snow on the ground in many places in Alaska. April was one of the coldest April's (here) recorded supposedly. But the snow will melt soon and everything will get green and pretty. Here is the first sunset of May 2013, the sun setting behind the Kenai river. In a few months people will come here from all over to fish for salmon in this famous river.