Therefore I am going to take copies of this great "Dear Abby" column and hand it out to the guys that think I will lend a sympathetic ear to their marital problems. Therapy like that is expensive (one 60 minute session can go from $100 -$300), I usually don't make enough to give you this advice and listen to your sob story and besides my advice would be for the man to better himself. Hello, I am a feminist. That doesn't mean that I always side with the woman, I side with what's right.....and in cases like these the man often wrongly thinks he is the victim but he is not. He is only acting like a spoiled child. Man up!
Basically men that complain about not enough sex or complete lack of sex in their marriage or relationship should examine what they are doing or......keyword here.....NOT doing.
Women like to feel appreciated and loved. This is real life and not some porn. Porn does not depict real life sex. Many men seem to have a difficult time understanding that. I personally do not know of any girls that act or have sex like girls in porn do every time they have sex. Girls in porn get paid to perform like that, they have a script to follow, they usually prepare for a day or a few days before the shoot, many numb themselves with drugs and alcohol to be able to cope and many of them just go through the motions. You and your wife might have kids, she might be tired from working a full time job and also taking on the children and the household chores. Don't expect her to jump for joy when you press your erection into her lower back in bed at night. She would probably be happier with a foot rub or a massage. Speaking of that, when was the last time you rubbed your wives or girlfriends feet or gave her a nice and long massage without expecting any sex in return? If men would pay more attention to the woman in their life I can promise that most of those women would respond differently to the sex.
No need for expensive gifts, a lot of great things in life are free. Also a woman's sex drive is many times a mental thing. So the way she feels about you and how she responds to you is tied into how well you fulfill her emotional needs. Remember, this is real life and not porn. Also many women are not too thrilled that the man in their life might be spending more time watching porn instead of focusing his attention on her, very understandable. After all, that hot 19 year old that turns you on in that porn probably wouldn't pay you any attention in real life. And if she did.....you would most likely have to pay for it and that would make you feel pretty shitty about yourself in the end.
Also men have Viagra. That small pill that can turn them into a sex machine within an hour. Not that I think most men need Viagra, they are horny enough. Many of them willing to hump anybody that is willing.
Some girls I work with try to cash in on men that are unhappy with their wives. You know, say things like, "I am way sluttier than your wife." BS like that. Well, I don't act slutty at work. Gross. I am classy. And like I said, I don't want to hear it. If anything, bring in your wife or girlfriend and let me and her have a serious talk with you and set the situation straight.
You might thank me later for that.
I remember about a month ago....it was a slow starting night and me and a few of my co workers were sitting on the couch chatting. Something prompted the waitress to say that men come in to the club because they don't get what they want at home. The other girls nodded and agreed. I was the only one that objected. Listen, one woman can never fulfill a mans every fantasy.....it is impossible. I can't be Asian or a busty Milf and a slutty daddy's girl in a weeks span. I can only be ME. There is NOTHING lacking at home. If a boyfriend of mine would tell me that he went to a strip club because I was lacking in any area I would laugh first then probably beat him thoroughly or kick him in his nuts. Fuck that shit. Besides a strip club is entertainment only, women are welcome to enter and watch and have fun too (if they are cool). Trust me, you can keep your man, I don't want him. Unless it's Chester Bennington.
So, my advice is.....pay attention to your partner, appreciate them, small things matter, give lots of foot rubs and massages, laugh together, do fun things together that create good memories. If there is an emotional bond, the sex will follow. That is enough on this rainy Sunday from Tatiana, your personal therapist. Free too....!
And before I upset any men out there. Yes, sometimes the woman is at fault. I know this. That is why I said that I side with what's right.
Annette on :
TATIANA Post author on :
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Paul on :
Relationship or marriage is not easy, needs work and commitment.
TATIANA Post author on :
🙂
Yes, a marriage or a longer term domestic partner relationship does take work and commitment. Many good things in life take work and commitment. I love commitments, to me that is a good thing. Like, my commitment to Chhaya, the reward I get is priceless.
There are personal level commitments, like going to the gym or improving your health, a commitment with positive rewards.
Friendships too require give and take and a certain level of work and commitment.
Sometimes relationships demand too much work....then it won't work out. If a boyfriend or a friend requires too much from me, too many struggles to make it work then it won't work.....although I am a very loyal and understanding person but everybody has a breaking point.